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Emotions Around Money

The Money Nerve
Emotions around Money

EMOTIONS around MONEY

“Emotions Around Money” – how does your money get sidetracked by your emotions? Some people say they don’t have any emotions surrounding money. And then they start talking about money and the floodgates open. I developed the Money Nerve concept by working as an accountant, financial advisor, and business consultant for over twenty-five years. I am thankful to the many people and businesses that I’ve helped who have, in turn, helped me.

I have spent decades sitting across from my clients—most of the time feeling more like a therapist than an accountant. I realize now that many people have money issues because emotions and money are tied together hand-in-hand, Many think they are supposed to know how to handle finances intuitively and can’t –but they are ashamed to ask for help. I see business owners, other CPAs, lawyers, therapists, doctors, and others in major financial crises. I am no longer surprised when clients come in, start talking, become emotional and break down crying. There is a lot of fear and shame surrounding “emotions and money.”

Define Your Emotions aka your “Money Nerve”

It’s time to start admitting, without shame or embarrassment, that we weren’t taught how to handle money (or that we don’t know all the answers). We need to bring our money issues out in the open and start changing our belief system to set ourselves up for success. What pinches your Money Nerve? If you have more month than money, it is time to explore a new pathway toward financial freedom.

Many people are in denial because they don’t want to deal with their financial situation. I had a conversation with a client that went something like this:

Client: I was more upset about coming to see you today than I was about finding out whether or not I had terminal cancer yesterday.

Me: Your priorities are messed up. It’s just money.

Client: I didn’t want to come to see you. My finances are a mess! I almost canceled. Now I’m glad I’m here—you always make me feel better. I know you’re still going to help me and get my mess all straightened out. I’m not sure why I was afraid.

Me: This is only about money. Do you hear what you’re saying?

Client: I know, I know.

Illusion of Money or Vision for the Future

Huge companies like Fannie May, Freddie Mac, or Lehman Brothers built their empires on the illusion of wealth. When the time came to pay up, however, their house of cards came tumbling down. It should come as no surprise that many individuals who make up these companies have the same problems. Many people’s lives are also a house of cards, an illusion.

If major corporations are having problems, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about your personal financial problems. It’s epidemic! FYI, there is no 700-billion-dollar bailout for you. You have to help yourself. Start today by creating your vision for the future. Define Your Money Nerve.

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DASHING Through DECEMBER

3x3 Dashing to DecKeep it real!

You survived Black Friday and Cyber Monday and now you have the rest of your Christmas shopping to do. Amid holiday parties, family gatherings and business obligations, it’s time for many of you to begin annual holiday shopping, too!

The National Retail Federation’s latest survey finds that holiday shoppers plan to spend an average of $463 on family members, up from $458 last year and the highest in survey history. Average spending per person is expected to reach $805, with more than half of shoppers planning to splurge on non-gift items for themselves. And if you use credit cards, be prepared to go over budget by 25%.

Many people get emotional about selecting gifts for family members and loved ones. The desire to get the very best present is often in direct conflict with the reality of keeping your budget on target. Going overboard for Christmas and beginning 2016 in debt is not your best course of action.

Here at The Money Nerve, we believe that positive and intentional choices allow you to be deliberate about your spending during the holidays and beyond. Take a moment and examine some of the holiday emotions that may pop up out unexpectedly!  Are you trying to “buy” love or attention? Is there family competition regarding who bought or received the “best” gift? Do you feel the need to purchase a gift for every person you know?

Stop. Think about your long-term goals for your life and how you want to recognize or honor the special people in your life. Be thoughtful. Attaching a personal, heartfelt message with a small present can be the greatest gift of all. Spread holiday cheer on a personal level. This is a season based on love and sharing. – Reconnect with the people who are most important to you.

Enjoy the holiday, the shopping and the people! See if these five tips help you navigate the holidays and make it easier on your wallet:

1. Benjamin Franklin said it best, “The early bird gets the worm.” So begin saving for next year’s holidays in January. Set aside $25-$75 per month. Use cash whenever possible.

2. Set your budget. If you traditionally tip a babysitter, a dog walker or special people who provide personal services at the end of the year, be sure to add that to your budget.

3. Make a gift list. List the amount you want to spend on family and friends and stick to it. If you bought gifts early, pull them out to wrap. I have friends who forgot they purchased gifts early, put the gifts in a safe place, and then found the items after the holiday season.

4. Find deals. Read those Sunday ads and use apps like RedLaser to price match items. You want to be sure you get the best price on your purchases.

5. It’s not the size of the gift, it is the thought behind it. You can give small “stocking stuffers” to colleagues: $5 Starbucks cards, a mini-bottle of Champagne, homebaked cookies, or a chance to win the lottery with a $2 Scratch off card. There are many small and fun ways to show people you care!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah and more!

Bob