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Facing Your Financial Fears

The Money Nerve
Facing Your Financial Fears

Facing Your Financial Fears

We all have money habits ingrained in our lives, yet many of us are afraid of facing financial fears. Financial fear is often caused by emotional response that we unconsciously carry with us, and facing your financial fear is the first step to eliminating stress and worry.

There are dozens of emotions that surface when it comes to money. When I was thinking back on the emotions I have dealt with in client meetings over the years, I came up with an extensive list. But one emotion seems to crop up more often than others. It’s exhaustion. Looking at the root cause of our financial actions can be exhausting. Being broke can be exhausting. Budgeting can be exhausting.

Exhaustion

Many people have a message in their mind stuck on replay, and it says, “I don’t want to look at my financial reality. I just don’t want to look at how messed up I actually am.” It seems less exhausting to live in a make-believe world! The problem with that assumption is that it’s a fantasy. As soon as you get an overdraft fee – BAM! Welcome to the real world. Dealing with reality out of fear makes you may feel even more de- energized and defeated.

Turn your exhaustion around:

• Analyze your true situation. Don’t spend money before you receive it.
• Have a contingency plan
• Create a strategy to move in a new direction.
• Investigate smarter personal finance tips and tools

Determine where your “MONEY NERVE” is by facing Your Financial Fears

1. Write down a recent, uncomfortable Money Nerve moment and analyze how you might have mitigated the emotions behind it and improved the situation.
2. Start a journal to track your money habits and emotions
3. Make a list of people in your inner circle of family and friends with whom you could discuss finances.
4. Make a list of professionals who could provide financial advice, maybe a CPA or a financial advisor.
5. Pick the three strongest emotions that trigger your Money Nerve. Mentally trace them back to what you believe to be the root cause. For example, “My father got angry whenever we wanted to eat out.”
A.
B.
C.
6. Write down a recent, uncomfortable Money Nerve moment and analyze how you might have mitigated the emotions behind it and improved the situation.
7. Review your journal entries to identify other emotions that trigger your Money Nerve.

Becoming more aware of the emotions that trigger your Money Nerve will create new options for making positive change in your life!

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Does Money Buy True Love?

Money vs Time

Does Money Buy True Love?

My grandparents gave my family so much! We knew they loved us best! We were their only grandchildren. Their money bought TVs, stereos, a vehicle when we turned sixteen – and we loved being spoiled by them. But as children, we never thought to ask “does money buy true love?” When I was a young adult, and my grandparents needed some help around the house, I spent a few days in their yard fixing things up. At the end of the weekend, my grandfather tried to give me a hundred bucks, which I politely refused. My grandparents were very confused and hurt. They felt they needed to pay for everything, all the time. They could not comprehend that I simply wanted to spend time with them because I loved them.

Do you use money to “solve” problems or to make people like you more?

It wasn’t until recently that I realized what my grandparents were really saying with their overly generous attention: “We don’t feel worthy of your love, but if we give you lots of money, will you pretend to love us?” I was taken aback, hurt and saddened by that thought.

Using Money to Mask Insecurity

What I came to understand is that my grandparents grew up feeling insecure and unworthy of attention. The only way they thought they could convince people to love them was through bribery. My grandparents taught my mother the same lesson, which not surprisingly trickled down to my siblings and me. Buying expensive presents, always treating friends or family to meals or providing luxuries that they cannot afford, to make others love you more, isn’t a “real” relationship.  Even though the money was always used for positive experiences to create a loving environment, the cash did not create a bond; it was the act of connecting and caring that cemented the relationship.

Explore the Emotions that Propel You to Use Money in Relationships

Going out to eat, attending special events, and taking your family to Disneyland are all positive things that we do with friends and family because we care about them. However, if the underlying emotion is based on fear and need, it might be time to explore your actions. Are you afraid people won’t like you if you can’t splurge on expensive meals and events? Do you need people to admire you or feel awed and impressed with your generosity?  Is your money serving you well when you “buy” people?

Investigate the emotions that trigger your automatic financial response in relationships.  Check out ways to examine your actions – set aside quiet time to reflect on what’s most important to you or begin to journal. Start making conscious choices that will generate an authentic connection based on love and trust. By cultivating genuine relationships with family and friends, you will construct a lifestyle of proactive abundance, and that makes all the difference in the world!

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AFRAID OF THE IRS

IRS-Agent

It’s amazing how many people are terrified of the IRS. They view this government organization as the ultimate parent or authority figure. Even when they know they’ll get a refund, the process of getting their financial numbers together (and the fear of a possible audit) are enough to make some people avoid dealing with their taxes altogether.

Some even believe they’ll end up in prison if they have avoided filing taxes for years. Debtor prison ended a long time ago, but fines for filing taxes late are real. Ignoring tax responsibilities does not make them go away, it merely increases work later and often has a penalty attached.

When you fear authority and do not take responsibility for your finances, you essentially put the responsibility on others to make your decisions. If you’re not taking action out of rebellion, you’re saying, “I don’t like your ideas, so go ahead and do whatever you want.” If you’re relinquishing your financial responsibilities because of insecurity, you might say, “I’m afraid of doing it wrong, so I will do nothing.” Although the intentions are different, the result is the same.

Sam, one of my of my clients, came to me one day to talk about his taxes. He said, “Um, I don’t want anybody to know this, but I haven’t filed my taxes in ten years.” He was very embarrassed. I completed his returns, and it turned out he would have had tax refunds, but lost all the money due to him because the IRS deadline to collect the refunds had passed.

Once Sam became current with his filings, he was relieved and promised he would never let it happen again. The next year, I called him to remind him to send me his tax information … and the next year and the next. I finally stopped calling him. Caution! There is no time frame if you owe the IRS money. Sam was literally paying the IRS 5,000 dollars per year to not file! It is truly amazing how expensive inaction can be—and inaction is often triggered by fear.

One way to avoid fear is to be intentional as you journey through the year. Purchase an accordion folder this week & start stashing paperwork into categories. File them as soon as you pay the bills or get a paycheck. Breaking the entire fiscal year into a weekly routine of filing paperwork into your different categories will make that big April 15th chore much more manageable!

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Facing Financial Fears

The Money Nerve

83% of Americans have at least one financial fear that keeps them up at night. And not surprising, almost a third worry about retirement and healthcare costs. Most people would rather ignore their nagging concerns and continue suffering in a familiar pattern rather than facing their fear and making a change.

Where are you really?

You can’t get to your ultimate destination if you don’t know your starting point.

The first key to alleviating your fear is to be honest. The more accurate the assessment, the more secure you will be in your position. You might be frustrated, but you will be aware of your financial truth and knowing where the breakdown occurs allows you to fix some of those issues.

Turn your insecurity around:

• Evaluate your social circle.
• Surround yourself with supportive friends.
• Budget truthfully so you know your financial position.

Review your income and expenses, explore where you spend your time and track down hidden costs. When you do these things, it is crucial to be honest with yourself. What do you actually earn? What do you really spend? What do you pretend is not relevant to your budget?

Most people “round up” on their income and “round down” on their expenses. If you want to get ahead and be financially successful, always lower your income estimates and raise your expense estimates. This trick will help give you a cushion for the realities of your inflows and outflows of cash.

The best way to face your financial fears is to create a budget. Having guidelines can bring comfort and structure to your plan. Start small & build your financial muscle over time. Do you have a savings account? Try to put a small percentage or dollar amount with each paycheck. If you get a raise, continue to live on the former salary & put the increase in the bank. That is a painless and highly effective more to build your wealth.

Check some of the tools we have placed HERE to help you jumpstart smart financial choices.

Don’t be scared ~ Be proactive!

Bob

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FACE YOUR FEAR

3x3TMN Head In SandI know many people who are afraid their entire financial life is going to fall apart at any minute. Sometimes, their fear does not correlate to their financial reality. It is an irrational emotion, based on what their family taught them or based on the unpredictable economic world we live in today.

I have friends who make high incomes; they have stunning homes, numerous cars, and staff who make their lives easier. Some of them have built their lifestyle through speculation and grand impulsive decisions. With all the material symbols of “success,” you would think they live a charmed and worry-free life! Yet, that is not always the case. Often there is a constant worry that the next project may not make it. Their mindset is, “We’re going to end up on the streets. We’re not going to make it” They are unable to enjoy their financial goodness and they live in fear.

Until recent years, America’s younger generation never feared they might lose everything. They have grown up in an era of abundance with no concept of scarcity. The media tells everyone that we all deserve nice homes, plenty of name-brand clothes, and the ability to buy almost anything we want at the store. Sometimes reality can be scary. When people see their friends losing jobs and realize that minimum wage can’t provide the lifestyle they grew up with, or see colleagues losing their houses, they start to live in fear themselves.

In the current economic reality, many people I interact with on a daily basis are afraid of losing everything they have worked for. Financial fear can make you stop in your tracks. Not taking a look at your account balances, not making any decisions, ignoring your family, and disregarding sound financial advice are a few examples of how people start to freeze up.

Don’t stick your head in the sand! Turn your fear around:

  • Take personal inventory. Knowing where you are makes it easier to plan your “next step” for the future.
  • Make your choices when you are at your best. Don’t go grocery shopping when you are hungry.
  • Face your fears. Write them down and explore ten new ways to find a solution. Circle one solution and begin to work on that.

Have any questions? Let me know via Facebook or Twitter and I will answer you. I bet many other people have the same question, too!

Let me know your thoughts – Bob