Episode 168

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Be a Master of Destiny. Dr. John Demartini.

Episode Description

Some days it feels like we’re just passengers on life’s journey, going wherever the wind takes us. But that doesn’t have to be the case – you can be a master of your destiny. All it takes is a little courage and determination.

In this episode, I am joined by Dr. John Demartini, a world-renowned specialist in human behavior, a researcher, author, global educator, and founder of the Demartini Institute. Dr. John is an International bestselling author of The Values Factor and 39 other books. He has studied over 299 academic disciplines throughout the past 48 years and has shared the stage with some of the world’s most influential people, including Sir Richard Branson and Deepak Chopra.

Revolving around maximizing human awareness, potential, and leadership. Dr. Demartini has helped thousands of people worldwide transform their lives according to their highest values and create their “life masterpiece.”

Dr Demartini and I discuss some of the human behaviors that get overlooked and where we need to steer our attention to design the life we desire.

[2:51] Dr. Demartini’s childhood lessons around money.
[12:31] Learning how to live an extraordinary life by uncovering what you value the most in life.
[14:26] Human behaviors around money.
[18:36] “Nature is constantly trying to get you authentic.”
[21:15] Loving people with equity.
[26:49] Setting the intention to build wealth.
[30:26] Are you a victim of history instead of a master of destiny?
[36:08] Taking command of your life.

What are your highest values in life? Dr. Demartini says, “If you don’t know where you are or you don’t know where you’re going, you’re not likely to go places.” Get clear on the direction you want your life to go.

Make a difference in your life and set clear, tangible goals with Dr. Demartini’s free Value Determination Process.

Connect with Dr. John Demartini

Website | Books | Facebook | Pinterest | LinkedIn | YouTube

Dr. John Demartini’s Books

Episode Transcription

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[00:00:30] Bob Wheeler: Welcome to another episode of Money You Should Ask, where everyone has something they can teach you. I’m your host, Bob Wheeler. In this episode, we are going to explore why we do what we do when it comes to money. As a CPA for the past 30 years. Wait, let me say 25, because that makes me sound younger. I have seen it all when it comes to money and emotions.

And if you think I’m talking about my clients, I’m not. I’m talking about myself. My relationship with money has been, and sometimes still is, an emotional rollercoaster. Maybe that’s something you’re also familiar with. Good news. You and I are not the only ones. Our next guest is going to share their money beliefs, money blocks, and life challenges as well.

Buckle your seatbelt and enjoy the ride.

Our next guest, Dr. John Demartini, is a world renowned specialist in human behavior, a researcher, author, and global educator. He has shared the stage with some of the world’s most influential people, including Sir Richard Branson and Deepak Chopra. As the founder of the Demartini Institute, Dr. Demartini has worked with entrepreneurs, board members, and CEOs at companies, including IBM, Shell Oil, Merrill Lynch, and more.

International best selling author of The Values Factor and 39 other books, Dr. Demartini has studied over 299 academic disciplines throughout the past 48 years revolving around maximizing human awareness, potential, and leadership. Dr. Demartini has helped thousands of people around the world transform their life, according to their highest values, and create their life masterpiece.

Dr. Demartini, welcome to the show. It’s so great to have you.

[00:02:26] Dr. John Demartini: Well, thank you for having me. I appreciate it. I was looking forward to it.

[00:02:29] Bob Wheeler: Well, I’m super excited. There’s so many different things I want to ask you, but I want to start with, I’ve read your bio and I know you’re an open book. You had some challenges when you were a kid. So my question is, were you an only child, and what kind of environment did you grow up in with your parents?

Middle-class? Talked about money? What was that growing up for you?

[00:02:51] Dr. John Demartini: I was born in 1954 in Houston, Texas. I had amazing parents. You know, some people say they’ve got these parents that are all dysfunctional or whatever, I had, I thought, magnificent parents. I had learning problems as a child and speech problems. And I was born with an arm and leg deformity.

They were turned inward. And had to go to a speech pathologist, starting at age one and a half till about four. And I got out of my braces around four. I found out in school in first grade that I wasn’t able to read properly, write properly because my hand was turned in, and didn’t seem to comprehend. So I had learning problems as a child.

My father saw that by the time I was six, seven, and wanted me to be street smart, just in case I wasn’t going to be able to make it through school. And he made me accountable. So my first experience with money with my dad, is I asked him, dad, I want to earn enough money to buy a baseball glove and bat.

And he said, well, have you mowed the yard? Yes. Have you trimmed the sidewalk? Yes. If you clean the garage? Yes. You swept the sidewalks? Yes. Have you cleaned out the gutters? Yes. Have you weeded the flowers. Yes. Clip the hedges? Yes. Have you shined my shoes? Yes. He said, well, son, I don’t have anything else that I need done. So if you want to make money, you’re going to have to be of service and find people in the neighborhood to serve. Go to the neighbors and see what you can do to help them.

So I went to the neighbors and I started to do landscaping and mowing and weeding and whatever I can find. And then my dad saw that I bought a baseball glove and bat. He said, where did you get it? How did you get it? And I told him how I did it. And he said, well, what equipment did you use? I said, well, the equipment in the garage.

He said, son, I have to teach you something. There’s a thing called a depreciation schedule, and you’re going to have to pay me for that use. So I owed him $7.50, and then from there on out, I had to pay him for the use. So it was erroding my margins. But I still, you know, got more creative and I started hiring three kids and three kids and three kids.

I had nine kids working for me by the time I was nine, and I was making like $45 net after all the expenses, paid them off. And then he says, well, you got to learn how to save your money. So he bought me a coin collection set and a piggybank, which I still have to this day in my office, never been opened since 1963.

[00:05:03] Bob Wheeler: Wow.

[00:05:04] Dr. John Demartini: And he said, you got to learn how to save. So I started coin collecting. And then one day he says, now I want to teach you what it’s like to be in the real world. From now on, you’re going to have to pay for clothing, food, and rent. I had to pay $7.50 a week. I was nine. Now I was making what would be equivalent of about $500 or $600 a day today with inflation.

But at the same time, he charged me for that. And he said, but now that you’re paying for things, you have the freedom. As long as you’re home by nine o’clock at night, you can go anywhere you want on that new bicycle you bought and do whatever you want to do. Cause I used to drive like 26, 35 miles away and ride in different directions just to explore around the area.

So my dad taught me how to be street smart, because I didn’t learn to read, didn’t really read until I was 18. I dropped out of school and left home at 13. So I had learning problems and speech problems, but he taught me how to be street smart. And so I’m very grateful for my dad. There was a lot of love in our family, but he was trying to make me street smart, and I’m grateful to this day.

[00:06:03] Bob Wheeler: So the piece that I really love about that is this accountability piece. And I imagine it’s played a huge role in your life, and probably a huge role in what you teach other people. I could be completely off base, but I feel like there’s some real solid foundation there. Some real gold.

[00:06:21] Dr. John Demartini: Yes. There was a text about the House of the Rockefellers and it said, it said don’t rob people of dignity, accountability, responsibility, or productivity. Don’t rescue and disable or enable people, hold them accountable so they’ll rise and gain dignity, accountability, responsibility, and productivity. And my dad wanted me to do that, because he wanted me to know that the real world demanded sustainable fair exchange. Equity theory points to that.

So my dad was a very savvy guy and he wanted to make sure that I was ready for the real world. And even at a young age. Cause he saw I couldn’t read and couldn’t write and speak properly.

[00:06:57] Bob Wheeler: And did you always just have a spark that said I want to do better? Because you had a lot of obstacles. At 17, you had a near-death experience, things weren’t looking so great.

I mean, if you were putting it on a resume, not looking like the top resume that somebody is going to pick. How did you, and what was it that kept you saying, you know what? I’m going to show up and I’m going to shine.

[00:07:22] Dr. John Demartini: When I was 13, I left home. 14, I hitchhiked out to California and down into Mexico to go surfing. Cause Texas wasn’t the best surf capitol. And I wanted to surf. And 15, I was able to get enough money on the beaches of California to fly from Los Angeles to Honolulu. I first lived under a bridge, then under a park bench, in a bathroom, and then in a car, abandoned car, and kept social climbing until I finally found me a tent to live in.

And I was a surfer. I lived on the north shore of Oahu and surfed Pipeline and Sunset Beach and Waimea Bay and those places. And then I almost died at 17, a very close call with almost dying. It was strychnine and cyanide poisoning. And also, while surfing, my diaphragm stopped. But luckily I was able to recover from that. And I was led to a health food store and eventually a yoga class to try to recover.

And Paul C. Bragg, who was the one that initiated Jack LaLanne and many others in America to do something extraordinary with their lives. Paul Bragg, in one night and one hour on the north shore at Waimea Bay at a lecture, inspired me to believe that I could overcome my learning problems. And that I could someday learn how to read and be intelligent.

And that night, I saw a vision of me becoming able to read, able to speak, able to teach. Cause I thought teachers were intelligent. And I had a vision of me doing that and traveling the world and doing that. And that night, my life changed. Big time. I mean big time. I saw a vision and I said, I’m going after that.

And I tried to do that. I eventually left Hawaii, I flew back to LA, I hitchhiked back to Texas. I somehow went to take a GED, which is a high school equivalency test, because I hadn’t finished high school. I dropped out. And it was a miracle. I somehow guessed and passed. I just literally close my eyes. I said a statement that this guy gave me when I was 17.

And I just filled in dots and think, I got nothing to lose. If I pass this thing, I’ve got me a high school degree. If I don’t, I don’t. And I, by God, I passed. So I try to go back. I tried to go to school. I tried to go on to a junior college, and I miserably failed. I got a 27 on my first test and I really drove home that day. And I went home and I cried in the living room under this Bible stand.

And my mom said, came home from shopping. She goes, what happened son, what’s wrong? She hadn’t seen me cry in years. I said, mom, I guess I don’t have what it takes. I guess, as my first grade teacher told my parents, I said, your son will ever be able to read, write, communicate, go very far in life or amount to much.

I said that to her and I said, I guess I don’t have what it takes. I guess I’m going to have to go back and surf. And she said to me, something only a mother could say. She said, put her hand on my shoulder and she said, son, whether you become a great teacher and travel the world like you dream, whether you return to Hawaiian and ride giant waves like you’ve done, or you return to the streets and panhandle as a bum.

I just want to let you know that your father and I are going to love you, no matter what you do, boy. And that moment of love made my hand turn into a fist. I looked up, I saw that vision of me traveling and speaking and teaching. And I said to myself, I’m going to master this thing called reading and studying and learning. I’m going to master this thing called teaching and philosophy.

I’m going to do whatever it takes, I’m gonna travel whatever distance, I’m going to pay whatever price, to give my service of love across this planet. I’m not going to let any human being on this planet stop me. I get up. I hug my mom. I went into my room. I got a dictionary out, a Funk & Wagnall’s dictionary, and I started memorizing 30 words a day.

And my mom tested me on 30 words a day on spelling, pronunciation, meaning. And I worked and grew my vocabulary 30 words a day until I was able to absorb and read and understand. And then I started to excel, and I did not stop. After a year, that’s 10,000 words. After two years, that’s 20,000 words. Today, I’ve got a lot of words.

But what I did, is I never stopped reading. I started reading and reading and reading 18, 20 hours a day. I lived in books and started devouring, you know, book after book. Anything I could do to try to catch up with the other kids. And I wanted to be a man of letters and be a scholar, and I’ve just never stopped. And 49 plus years later, here I am.

And I’m now traveling the world, I’ve spoken in 158 countries, and I never gave up on that dream. And I’m still working on that dream.

[00:11:55] Bob Wheeler: That’s beautiful. So I love hearing about all the passion and the drive that you had. And I’m wondering, what would you say to those people out there that don’t have a mom that’s going to say, get up and fight and that you’re lovable or that feel like all things are stacked against them or that they don’t know how to read and write.

What would you say to those people that would help give them that little bit of passion or motivation to pick up and say, you know what I am gonna bring my service of love. And I am going to show up in the world fully and completely. What do you say to those people that don’t have a lot od hope?

[00:12:31] Dr. John Demartini: I tell people that no matter what you’ve done or not done, you’re worthy of love and that no matter what, you have a skill, a talent, a meaningful yearning to do something extraordinary with your life and make a difference.

And everybody has a set of priorities, a set of values. If you stick to the highest priority thing that you were most excellent at and target that, and don’t give up on that and just be relentless in the pursuit of it and build momentum towards what it is you want. And don’t turn back and let everything that happens to be on the way.

Keep asking whatever’s happening to me, how’s it helping me fulfill what’s deeply meaningful to me and don’t let the outer world dictate your destiny. Let the voice and the vision on the inside be louder than all opinions on the outside. And keep going, just keep going, get back up. Do it again, get back up.

Do it again. I had struggles when I was reading. I couldn’t pronounce something, my mom said that’s not it. Do it again, go back and do it again. And we remember limitless in the pursuit of what was it. And if you do, there’s no way you can fail. If you don’t give up, you just keep going. I figured if I keep going out and speaking of eventually, everybody else will die out and I’ll be at the top. If I live longenough,

[00:13:42] Bob Wheeler: You got to stay in the game. You got to stay.

[00:13:46] Dr. John Demartini: Don’t pursue something that’s not truly meaningful. Right. Cause then you’re not going to want to stay focused on it. It’s the things that is truly deeply meaningful that you want. You won’t give up on that. Yeah. It’s really important that you don’t stop.

You just get back up and figure it out again, just like a child walking. It doesn’t go. Well, I fell the first time. I must not be meant to walk. It gets back up again. That’s the attitude.

[00:14:07] Bob Wheeler: Absolutely. Life is more than money, but money is in all aspects of our lives. And I’m wondering what’s the balance and why do we need money. You know, we’re following our passion. We’re bringing things to the world and yet money is an undercurrent in a lot of this,

[00:14:26] Dr. John Demartini: You know, money is such a beautiful thing. I wrote a book called, How to Make One Hell of Profit and Still Get to Heaven, many years ago, and what’s interesting is sometimes as a human being, we puff ourselves up, inflate ourselves, aggrandize ourselves, go into pride and exaggerate ourselves to other people.

And that’s not our real self. That’s a persona, mask, a facade that’s an exaggeration who we are as really a compensation for deep inside feeling the opposite. And sometimes we minimize ourselves and deflate ourselves and shame ourselves. And we beat ourselves up because we’re comparing ourselves to somebody we put on a pedestal or something and that’s not ourselves.

And anytime we exaggerate ourselves and look down on people, or anytime we minimize our social look up to people, we’re not being our authentic self. And when we exaggerate ourselves, we tend to wake up our narcissistic, trying to get something for nothing. When we minimize ourselves, we tend to go into an altruistic, trying to give something for nothing.

And neither one of those are sustainable because if you try to give or get something for nothing you or they eventually burn out and it’s not fulfilling to them, nature is trying to get us. And also social transactions are trying to get us into a state of authenticity where our heart is open and we love people and seeing them as.

And the moment we do, we have sustainable fair exchange and money is a measurement of our sustainable fair exchange in our authenticity. And so by using money as a measuring system, to help us realize that if we care enough about humanity and have a equitable relationship with them, we will do something that serves them and we will be rewarded.

And then we can measure that reward by the dedication of filling the needs of other people. There’s never a lack of money to people who care about Humana. And the second we do, we are rewarded from that. I’ve learned how important it is to just make sure we don’t put people on pedestals or pitch, put them in our hearts and care enough about them to find out what their needs are and find a way of directly or indirectly serving them.

When you do, you’ll be rewarded. That’s the key I’ve traveled in many, many countries and asked people how many of you have ever used Microsoft windows? Every hand goes up around the world. Millions. I’ve asked that too. The reason why he’s a billionaire is because he’s figured out something that everybody’s benefit.

We can do the same. If we care about people, ask what is the biggest need. If we don’t fill our day with challenges that inspire us, it fills up a challenge that don’t right. So we want to go and find challenges that the world is facing and find out what it is we can contribute to directly or indirectly with our talents, or we can broker other talents and find a way of serving people.

When we focus on that, we’re not focusing on our problems. We’re focusing on the world solutions and we’re rewarded to.

[00:17:11] Bob Wheeler: And how with all the success you’ve had inward and outward, how do you stay human? How do you stay humbled? How do you, and maybe it doesn’t happen for you, but I know a little voice comes into my head sometimes is like puff up a little bit and I have to go shut up, shut up.

Right. How do you find that balance? How do you reel yourself back into your humane?

[00:17:32] Dr. John Demartini: Well, your physiology, your psychology and sociology around you and events in your life. Humble you when you go into pride. Pride before the fall. So you’re automatically going to let your physiology, psychology and sociology

give you a kick in the butt. And if you’re down to people, lift you up and wait for your above, they’d bring you down. You know, if I walk into a room and somebody says, oh, Dr. Demartini you’re amazing or something. And if I humble myself and I’ll say, well, you know, talk to my girlfriend, she has a different perspective.

And I minimize my self, they’ll lift me up, you know, they’ll lift me up. But if I walk in and they go, you’re amazing, Dr. Demasrtini and I go, I’m more amazing than you can understand, who the hell are you to even, you know, I’m profoundly more aware than you can even comprehend. Well, they’ll cut me down immediately and bring me back into, yeah.

So nature is constantly trying to get you authentic. And wisdom is letting your physiology and psychology whisper to you before the sociology and theology has to kick your butt. If you’re not governed from within, you have to be governed from without,

[00:18:36] Bob Wheeler: well, so let me ask you this piece because there are a lot of people out there.

Hey, I’ve done some work on myself. I’ve done the work I’ve self reflected. I know just enough to be dangerous. And so now here’s somebody telling you. You know, really shift your mindset, really come into service for love and. And I know that, but there’s a part of me goes, yeah, I know all of that. I know I could probably do some more work, but I’m far enough along, right?

So there’s this ego part that comes in a little bit when I know just enough to be dangerous. This is somebody out there listening and saying, yeah, I know I could do better. I just know enough not to push myself further. Cause I think I know better. How do we get out of our ego? Because I know I go into this kicking and screaming, but I know.

When I get vulnerable when I get authentic, when I get real, the benefits are so bountiful, I resist

[00:19:30] Dr. John Demartini: Our true ego is not something to shine. That’s our false ego. Freud had a different idea. The true ego, the true OD the true self was not exaggerated. It was just reasonable. The, ID is the seed of passions and the signs that we are looking for

immediate gratification and impulse, the animal nature. But the true nature of our nature merges when we live by highest priority. If we don’t fill our day with a highest priority actions that inspire us, it’s going to fill up with low priority distractions. When we live by highest priority. We’re more objective when we’re more objective, we’re more neutral relating to other people, but when we’re not living by our highest priorities, we go into our amygdala.

Our amygdala wants to be addicted to pride and think it’s right, and get subjectively biased, and that’s where we get trapped. It’s so important to prioritize your life and learn the art of delegating lower party things. You could liberate it to do the highest priority things and stick to the things because every time we do something, a time party, our self worth goes up and we become poised and present and respectful of others.

That if we are not fulfilling, what’s highest and value. Our unfulfillment puts us in our amygdala. Literally our blood glucose and oxygen goes into the lower brain and we now become addicted to pride and immediate gratification. And that’s where we get into problems. Our addiction to pride and our immediate gratification and desire for consumption something for nothing.

That’s where we run into our snags. It’s about prioritization and living by what’s truly meaningful, and then realize that without people around us, we can’t fulfill our lives. Caring about them with equity as the key to achievement. Yeah. You don’t have a great leader in business or a great leader in anything. If they’re negating the people that are helping them get there.

[00:21:15] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. Can you say a little bit more about loving people with equity?

[00:21:20] Dr. John Demartini: Yes. If we put people on pedestals, we’ll minimize ourselves. Einstein said, if you’re a cat trying to swim like a fish and envying somebody else and trying to imitate something else, you’re going to beat yourself up. And most people are afraid of upsetting the herd and they want to be fitting in instead of stand out and they don’t allow their authentic self to rise and be unique, how are you going to make a difference fitting in and being like everybody else, you’re going to make a difference by standing out and being you.

The authentic you, the magnificence of who you are as an authentic being is greater than all fantasies you may impose on yourself by trying to fit in. So giving yourself permission to not put people on pedestals or in pits. If you put them in pits, you’re going to project your values onto them and expect them to live in your values, which is futile.

And if you minimize yourself, you’re can expect to live in their values, which is futile. Futility, it comes from judging, but when you love somebody with equity, you don’t try to change you relative to them or them relative to. You care enough respectfully to communicate caringly, what you feel is important in terms of what they feel is important.

And that’s the game of communication, respect, that’s called love. And when we do that, we end up with great rewards in life. Nature forces us to learn how to love. Every symptom in our business, every symptom in our life is trying to teach us how to be ourselves and how to love people. We all want to be loved and appreciate for who we are, but if we’re puffing ourselves up or beating ourselves up, we can’t be who we are.

How are we going to be? We can’t be left for our authentic self until we’re in authentic. So, yeah.

[00:22:47] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. Thank you. I just think that’s so important and I just really wanted to highlight that. What gives you great joy with all that you’ve got going on? What brings you pleasure? What makes you feel fulfilled?

[00:23:02] Dr. John Demartini: Doing what I do every day. I research, write,and teach seven days a week. And a travel, cause I’m sailing everywhere. And that’s what I love doing. I have delegated everything else. I haven’t cooked since I was 24 years old. I haven’t done a domestic activities. I don’t drive. I haven’t driven in 32 years. I don’t do admin.

I don’t do anything but teach research and write and travel. That’s it. I’m useless. Even my girlfriend says, you know, you’re useless except for that. And I said, I know, but listen, I delegate everything. And if for some reason I’m doing my teaching, if I was to go and get George Clooney or Brad Pitt or Gerard Butler, if I was to get them to make love with you, Woud you still love me?

And every time my girlfriend says, I would love you even more.qq Because I delegate. That’s supposed to be a bad, that’s a joke. I’m just joking about that. My girlfriend just left this morning at 3:00 AM to go back to his dorm. So I just said goodbye to her. She’s had to leave, but she’s back in. She’s there right now.

She’s a singer and actress. Awesome. So in the process of doing that, you know, for me, what inspires me. Is doing what I set out to do when I was 17 and that is to learn every single thing I can that make a difference in people’s lives and share that with people and get to do that every day. And I love doing it.

I still do this day. I love doing that as much as I did when I started.

[00:24:22] Bob Wheeler: You had any setbacks since that vision, since that incident at 17, since you got through your education and you started reading the books, as you started going out in the world, have you had any setbacks? And how did you recover from that?

[00:24:41] Dr. John Demartini: Yeah. I had many setbacks setbacks in the sense of, I had to calm down some of my ambitions and get realistic about it or delegate more. I learned to delegate more. I realized you can get anything done. If you around surround yourself with people that are experts to help you do it. Right. So I basically learned, learn delegation when I was 27 years old.

I got a book by Alice McKinsey called The Time Trap, and I made a list of every single thing that I did in a day that I put down. How much does it earn? And then how much meaning does it have and how much would it cost me to delegate it and how much time do I spend on it? And then I prioritized all that and then layer by layer by layer.

I delegated everything off my plate and my income went up 10, fold. My prosperity, went up 10 fold, and I gave job opportunities to people. And I had people around me that were experts doing what I didn’t want to do. And I wasn’t great at, and I kept to my core competence, which is research and teach and write.

And so, as long as you’re doing that, what you love, you are rewarded in the world, but most people haven’t got that. I think, well, when you get wealthy, you can do that. No, I got wealthy because I did that, right. That was the key I helped other people get where they want to get in life, by giving them job opportunities, doing what they love in a way that freed me up to do what I love.

And then I changed my life. And I also learned a very important thing until you value you don’t expect others. So I started saving and then I started investing and every time I increase my savings and investing, when I started doing every quarter, my business went up, the margins got to more profound and all of a sudden financial independence was here.

So I’m a firm believer that you got to value yourself. You have to value yourself in addition to serving other people. If you don’t value yourself, the world’s not going to be.

[00:26:24] Bob Wheeler: I know you pass that message and teach that message to people that do workshops that read that you teach to. How do we teach that to the next generation?

How do we have that conversation with children that gives them enough so that they’re accountable and all those things that your dad gave you, and yet give them the information so that they can actually maybe bloom sooner, reach capacity more.

[00:26:49] Dr. John Demartini: Well, in my case, I learned from Albert Einstein, he was one of my guys that I loved studying him.

And he said the greatest teacher is exemplification. First live it., if you go and live it, people are going to watch it. They’re going to see that there’s congruency and authenticity, and they’re going to see that there’s those actions work and they’re going to mirror it with their mirror neurons. It’ll be the chameleon effect.

So that’s the first thing. That way you can walk your talk. The second thing is to articulate it in a way that matches people’s values because not everybody has a high value on wealth building or saving money and stuff. They have a value on everything else. I was speaking in South Africa at a success summit to about 5,000 people, Richard Branson.

And I asked people, how many of you want to be financial independent? Every hand went up, even legs went up in the air. I said, all right, great. And I said, how many of you are financially dependent? Most of the hands went. There’s only a handful of people kept the hands up. And I said, interesting, you have a fantasy about having financial independence, but you’re not actually doing it.

So I’m going to show you why. And I said, I want to give you $10 million. U S and that’s a lot to them down in South Africa. Right? So I said down, I’m going to give you $10 million. Imagine you got it. You got a piece of paper in front of you. You got 60 seconds. If you had 60 seconds, I want you to write down the 10 things you would do.

If you had $10 million and you got 60 seconds on your mark, get set, go, right. And they quickly write down what they want. And at the end of it, I should now pass it to the person to your left, and now go and calculate how much of those that $10 million is still in assets. That’s going to work for you and how much you got spent on consumables that went depreciated.

And all of a sudden they realized between 20 and 80% of that room, 28% of the money that they received, $10 million went to consumables. I said, as long as you have a higher value on consumables, Then you do on the assets that appreciate you really don’t have an intention to build financial wealth.

You have an attention to have a lifestyle and lifestyles of the rich and famous, and you’re going to live beyond your means and you’re going to have debt. And then you’re going to be paying interest on debt instead of having interest to pay you in assets. And I had to wake them up about what is really an asset and what is a liability on, what does it really mean?

Do you really have a value in wealth toning or is it just. And really ground them on what it takes to have money work for them. Because if not, they’re a slave all their life and they can’t become its master by giving up immediate gratification for long-term returns and people have to be patient and get out of their amygdala, which is immediate gratification center and get into their executive center with a strategy long-term to build the finances that they want.

And the moment they do their life change, because they gave up like the marshmallow experience they gave up immediate gratification. For a long-term return. If you live for the lifestyle, now you’re going to have a decrescendo later on in life. If they start to realize that go and pay for assets. But if they don’t, they’re going to be a slave to money and they’re going to have a decrescendo in their life instead of a crescendo and the people that are patient and let the crescendo go.

Eventually their lives financially go up and they can contribute philanthropically. If not, they’re going to go down and they’re going to depend on their next generation to take care of them. So it’s wise to balance. Serving people and value yourself and value. What money is offering money is basically a way of measuring your willingness to think in terms of your soul instead of your immediate gratifying census.

[00:30:15] Bob Wheeler: And how do we get out of story, like right. I’m in that story? Well, no, I need these consumable goods and it’s going to be, and that’s the only for rich people and I’m not quite there. And one day I’m gonna, when

[00:30:26] Dr. John Demartini: people say that to me, I shouldn’t stop your story because your story is not going to get you.

You’re going to be a victim of history instead of a master of destiny. Stop the story. Look at what’s priority. When you start to manage money wise, or you receive more money to manage, that’s how it works. Money circulates through the economy. From those evaluate leads to those evaluate cost. If you don’t value it and hope value and appreciate money, it will never appreciate and value for you.

If you depreciate money, it will go down in value because if you wanted to buy those things, you’re not valuing money. You’re buying you’re valuing those things. Instead of having your money work for you. So it’s just a mind state and your excuses. Aren’t going to get you anywhere. What’s going to get you somewhere is taking highly prioritized actions strategically and doing the things that are proven to work.

And there is a science to it. And it’s not that hard. It’s not rocket science. I’ve taught thousands. I mean, millions of people, how to do it. And I got tons and tons and tons of people, thousands, thousands, thousands. We’ve done it. All my kids are doing it. I’ve watched them. They learn how to do it. They take a portion of whatever they earn and they put it away and there, they earn more money and then they put more away than they earn even more money.

And they put more away because they’re managing money wisely. And when they do, they receive more to manage,

[00:31:38] Bob Wheeler: that’s such an important thing because I know we love our stories. We know them so well and we love to tell them, and the sooner we can let go of them and actually move past story, we can, it’s all.

It’s all there if we want it.

[00:31:53] Dr. John Demartini: Well, anytime we look outside ourselves for our problems, we’re going to look outside ourselves for our solutions. But if we look inside and realize it has nothing to do with the world around us, it has everything to do with our perception, decisions, and actions. And those are the three things we have control over.

We can transform our perceptions, our decisions, and our actions, and there’s nothing stopping a sugar, nothing, all that is. The reality is William James said the greatest discovery of his generation as a human beings can alter their lives by alternate perception, decisions, and actions. We have the ability to change our perceptions.

And if we do our lives change, mine changed the night I met Paul Bragg. I was a long-haired hippie surfer kid living in a tent who couldn’t read was a high school. Dropout was living, you know, literally day to day on about $2 a day. And my life changed. And today I have a completely different. All because I decided that I was going to start filling my mind with a highest priority ideas by the greatest minds who’ve ever lived.

And I was going to start applying the principles that I learned from those who have mastered their skills and start to change my life. And if I give myself excuses, I won’t get there. But if I give myself priority actions, I will build momentum and it will be destined

[00:33:09] Bob Wheeler: you ever follow back up or have any more communication with Paul Bragg or was that one hour?

[00:33:15] Dr. John Demartini: That was the only time I got to spend time with him for the next three weeks. He had low classes in the morning at seven 30 in the morning and DeRussy in Waikiki and I hit, tried to cross the island to go. We’ve been with him every morning. So I did three weeks with him. And then that was it. I never saw him again, but I know his daughter and his daughter attended my break.

So I was teaching rates or experience at the Waikiki. And in the back of the room, a little four foot, seven height woman came in with a hat on and a pink outfit in the back. And I took a break and she came up to me and she grabbed my hands and she said, that was inspiring. She said, you remind me of my father.

I’m Patricia brag. Wow.

[00:33:57] Bob Wheeler: Wow. That is so amazing.

[00:33:58] Dr. John Demartini: I never saw him again, but I’m still friends and Patricia brag contacted my daughter and encouraged her to follow up. What I do today, my daughter is teaching now and also doing it and saving your money and becoming she’s going to be a multimillionaire without a doubt, because she’s working and serving people and working efficiently.


[00:34:16] Bob Wheeler: managing it’s amazing. And what I really want people to hear is you took an hour out of your life. To hear a message that then you took and took three more weeks to just sort of fine tune. And you took off from there and it didn’t take you 800 years. I mean, it certainly, there was a lot of other things at play, but that moment of messaging, that moment of inspiration was literally a choice to go and hear somebody talk and take in what they had to offer.

[00:34:45] Dr. John Demartini: That light was so inspired. When he spoke and when he took us through this guided imagery, meditation kind of experience, I closed my eyes. I went into this meditation. I saw a vision that vision is painted in my office. It’s a five by four painting by a famous painter painted what I saw. We captured in a painting.

So inspiring. I looked around the room and I came out of my little meditation, opened up my eyes. There’s not one person there with dry eyes. Everybody had some sort of inspired. I wish I could follow it up on all those people. I never got to see those people. All I know is that my life changed that night.

And I know when I read the biography of Jack Elaine, Jack Elaine was impacted by Paul Bragg. Steve jobs was impacted by Paul Bragg. Donald Trump was impacted by Paul Brown. Gloria Swanson. I mean, I can go down. There’s about 139 famous people. They’re all impacted by this one, got the Kellogg corporation.

Wow. It makes all the cereals was impacted by this man. I mean, there’s amazing people that were impacted by this guy and he was inspired and he was an enthusiasm for health culture. He opened up a thousand health food stores across America to try to help people live more healthy lodge. My life changed because I met one man and I had.

To do that with other people, for other people.

[00:36:02] Bob Wheeler: I love that story. I have to ask is legacy important to you and why,

[00:36:08] Dr. John Demartini: you know, I read a Roman poet and politician Sinek, and I don’t know if you’ve gotten to read any of Seneca. Seneca said you measure an individual by their most distant ends and the magnitude of space and time.

And they’re in the most dominant thought will determine the conscious evolution of. And so I basically realized that I wrote in 1999, I wrote a post Jim’s biography of how I want to be perceived a thousand years from now. And I wrote it all out exactly how I want to be perceived. What Dr Dimartini did in 2008, I was asked to speak at a walks out conference with 200 other people around the world with 12 individual speaking, Muhammad Yunus, the dialer Lama.

There’s a Wolf singer, a number of people. And at the end of the presentation, this was at the milk Abbey in this magnificent Sistine chapel with media coverage from around the world. It was the most amazing conference at the end of it. They took us into the library at the milk Abbey and put us in a semi-circle and handed us a stainless steel cylinder about a foot and a half long foot long.

And in there was 365 quotations. And my Dimartini method, which is a conflict resolution process, which, who I was speaking on and they put it in calligraphy paper, put a golden ribbon around it and seal the airtight. And we processed it down to the infinity of divinity library shelf and this special vaulted room that they store rare manuscripts for a thousand years and put it in the infinity of divinity library shelf to be stored for a thousand years.

So I’m a believer that if we’re immortal souls, we can send them moral goals. And my goal was making a difference in a thousand years from now is now singing that Abby, my work is sitting there and you’ll be open to a thousand years from now. So I’m a firm believer that what we set in our mind can become our reality.

And I am a firm believer that most people are waiting to see what happens instead of making what happens and living by design, not duty is way more powerful. She want to give yourself permission to design your. And define how you want to fill your day. And now you want to figure a week a month and year and decade and generation and life could.

If you don’t get up in the morning and dedicate your life to what’s inspiring to you and the fulfillment and financial dreams that you have, somebody who’s going to get up and do what they want. And if you’re not living by design, you’re living by duty. As I said, and if any of your life you’re not empowered and people are gonna overpower you in.

So don’t be a victim of history, be a master of dashi, take command of your life. I’m absolutely certain it can be done. I lived literally under a park bench. I used to go into diners and find food on tables eat. So I know what it’s like to have nothing. I live in the biggest yacht in the world today. And I’m absolutely certain that you can change your life and it has nothing to do with anything, but your actions, perceptions and decisions in life.

So don’t blame anybody on the outside, go inside, be resourceful and take command of your destiny.

[00:38:57] Bob Wheeler: And it’s so simplify it, but it really is that see your future be your future. If you can envision it, if you can manifest it. Okay. Absolutely. It can be that simple. If you’re willing to let go of ego.

[00:39:11] Dr. John Demartini: Well, what we do is we subordinate to outer authorities, mothers, fathers, preachers, teachers, conventions, traditions, and morays.

Instead of allowing the inner authority in your own divine connection to guide you with inspirations towards what it is you really want to contribute in the world. We all want to make a difference. I was speaking in Krugersdorp prison in maximum security prison in South Africa to 1000 new uniforms.

Inmates there for 25 years to life. And I asked him a simple question because I had six guards around me and I had the Gordon there and I was in maximum security, three stories underground. And I asked them, how many of you, no matter what you’ve been through or gone through a, been through when your life, how many of you deeply want to make a difference?

Every hand went up spontaneously in 100th of a second. It’s innate within us. Do you want to make a difference and to continue. And I don’t care what we’ve been through deep inside that souls yearning to do something magnificent. So don’t let anything, nothing on this planet interfere with that. When you have a vision greater than your obstacles, your obstacles turn into opportunities.

[00:40:14] Bob Wheeler: I do so believe that we all want to make an impact on the world. And I think there’s a lot of shame that gets associated with that. People shame us for saying, we want to empower the world who are we to make a difference? And the truth is all of the. Are enough to make a difference and be allowed to have that desire.

And I do believe we deep down, we all want to be in connection and we all want to be loved and we all want to make a difference. We want to have impact and know that we mattered.

[00:40:42] Dr. John Demartini: Absolutely. Can I share one story real quick when I was 18 and I started to go back to school. And I started to read and get my vocabulary and I was starting to pass.

I sometimes carpooled with this other guy who was an engineer or wanting to study engineering. And he had a dream to build magnetic trains and he designed them and he studied it inside and out. And I had a dream to be a teacher traveling the world, and we would talk on the way there to school. And we’re talking about our dreams.

And one day he had another friend join us in the car, sat in the back seat who was a bit pompous and a bit Eric. And he said in the front, the back seat, you guys are crazy. You come from a small town, you know, you don’t even know how to read the martini. You know, you’re just learning how to do this. You guys are pipe dreamers.

You’re going to probably work in a cotton factory. Come on, get real. And he put me down and he put the other guy down. And so we decided we were going to give her a ride

with thought that his opening of his mouth was at the wrong end. You know, that kind of thing. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, we went about our business, went on our way. The gentlemen went on to make magnetic trains are used today. Now about two years ago, I was doing a webinar. And all of a sudden that guy in the back seat came on the webinar and he typed in a message and we’ll give you the first word or the first few words.

He said, you freaking did it. I didn’t give up. So they laugh at you. They ridicule you, they put you down because they envy your commitment. Do it anyway, do it anyway. And the people that ridicule, you will be the people that will eventually respect

[00:42:29] Bob Wheeler: you. I so appreciate you sharing that story because it does come full circle.

Even if we don’t always know it, it does come full circle. It does come full circle. Yeah. Well, Dr. Dimartini, we are at our fast five, which is brought to you by cube money. Give money as an envelope system made easy it’s real-time financial awareness without the hassle of tracking expenses and carrying.

And I always feel like that’s such a brunch shift, but we’re going to shift the energy and I’ve got five questions just top of mind. And here we go. What’s a financial habit of yours that doesn’t always.

[00:43:04] Dr. John Demartini: You know, I don’t know. I’m a firm believer that no matter what I do or not do it’s on the way, not in the way.

So I don’t judge myself for my actions in any way. Everything is taken care of. I don’t do anything. I don’t even do transactions. I have people taking care of them. So I don’t have anything that I can screw up on.

[00:43:24] Bob Wheeler: And how do you know to trust those people? Right? Like you’ve got people doing that. Cause I was going to ask you to look at your finances.

How do you know that you’ve got people around you that you can do. It’s all automated,

[00:43:35] Dr. John Demartini: it’s automated and delegated and the people I delegate it to. If it’s not highest on their value where they’re actually inspired to do it, I don’t hire and pull. There you go. And I made sure that there, I mentioned that they’re getting a win out of it.

If it’s not a win-win, they’re going to want to get something for nothing. If I do a win-win, they’re going to want to continue to do it. That’s the key to sustainable fair exchange.

[00:43:55] Bob Wheeler: Your bio says you traveled 360 days a year. Out of 365 in case anybody doesn’t know how many days or in a year do you plan your fun time?

Do you schedule it out?

[00:44:06] Dr. John Demartini: But my fun time is my life. When you’re doing what you love, why love when you do, you don’t need to escape. My fun time is what I do. You know, I don’t have to work. Yeah, I do it cause I love doing it. I love making a difference in people’s lives and watching the transformation and getting the letters from around.

This is what I love doing. Now. I may go off and as I sail into some place, or I make a walk on an island the other day, I walked with the monkeys and went down a river, you know, on rapids. I do some things like that, but what I love doing is this, and I do this pretty well, seven days a week. Most of the. So that’s my fun.

I don’t need to escape. I don’t have Monday morning blues Wednesday week. I don’t need to get a break or have a vacation or, you know, retire. None of that means anything to me. I’m 67 and I’m still afraid I don’t have this desire. I don’t have to work. I do it because I love to not because I have to slowly,

[00:45:03] Bob Wheeler: what is your favorite investment like return on investment.

You know, investing in notes or what gives you joy and excitement on your investments?

[00:45:13] Dr. John Demartini: Well, I started doing index funds in 1987. I started investing in 19 83, 82, 83, 87. I did an analysis and I realized I’m going to lower my cost to lower my turnover rate. I’m just going to decrease my taxable capital gains and I put it in index funds and I’ve been investing in index funds ever since.

And they’ve made me fortunes and I’m very grateful for all the companies. That’s S and P 500 hash and that the Russell 2000 has, and I just keep putting it away. I don’t spend it, I just keep it growing and it just pays me in and I reinvest the dividends and I let it grow. And it’s all destined for my philanthropic objectives.

And I put it into those objectives. That’s my goal. And they’re happening. That’s what’s happening. I put together a Demartini prize to compete with a Nobel prize to the Templeton prize. So that’s where. Awesome.

[00:46:04] Bob Wheeler: I know that you don’t drive and all these other things taken care of. Do you have a favorite car that you haven’t bought yet, or is that anything that’s of

[00:46:12] Dr. John Demartini: interest?

I had cars in the past, you know, I’ve had the rolls Royce. And all that stuff, but I gave all that up. I don’t do that. I’d rather have somebody else take care of that for me. The last time I had a rolls Royce, I had a guy named Bob in Australia, drives it around today. He uses it for business. I don’t participate in driving.

I don’t even know what the names of the cars are half the time. Now I just have so many, it takes care of my. And I have a concierge person. I learned a long time ago, delegate everything that you’re not inspired to do if you want an inspiring life. And if you’re not filling your day with the highest priority things, it’s going to lower you.

Anytime you do lower party things, you devalue yourself. And tell me to do the highest priority things you value yourself. So why would I want to do anything less than what I love doing, which is teaching and researching and writing.

[00:46:56] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. And traveling is amazing. Let me ask you this. We are at our M and M moment, our money and motivation.

Sweet spot. Can you give the listeners a practical financial tip or a piece of wealth wisdom? You’ve talked about investing. Just something that people can say, oh, I can do that. I can do that. Starting today,

[00:47:13] Dr. John Demartini: whatever you earn in a day, don’t wait for. Because NGP takes over finances. And if you don’t take away and take a portion of it off top and pay yourself first and put it into some sort of investment that’s appreciating and value.

If you don’t do that, you’re going to have unexpected bills eroding the potential for that. And you’re going to keep coming up with reasons why you can’t do it. Just go and have it automated. Go take out of your bank, put a portion of it into investments and start investing. And watch what happens once you start doing that and it starts growing.

You’ll be like a child. You want to nurture it. You want to grow it. And it starts working for you. And every day you do that, once you build up a cushion, once you start building it, you’re going to eventually realize you don’t have to go to work because you have to go to work because you loved it. And that’s when you give your greatest service.

[00:47:58] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. And it does, it becomes addictive in a good way. When you see that money starts to grow and sort of how much more can I grow this? Sorta fun. Well, you know, Dr. Dimartini, you’ve shared so much information. And I think really my biggest takeaway is the piece about service of law coming from a place of doing things that benefit other people going above and beyond ourselves.

And this loving with equity, I think is so important because I think so many times we do measure and we’re not equitable in the love that we give or receive. And just to have that intentionality, that awareness. And I really appreciate this piece about accountability. Like we are accountable and we have the ability to change our lives with just shifting our mindset.

If we want it.

[00:48:50] Dr. John Demartini: Like I said, the magnificence of who you truly are is far greater than any fantasies you are posting, you know, in my website, Dr. demartini.com. There’s a value, determination process. It’s free, it’s private. I hope people will consider going to it taking 30 minutes of their time to answer 13 questions to look at what’s really.

Not what they think it should be, not what they wish it would be, but what their life demonstrates they’re committed to. So then get clear on it. If you don’t know where you are, you don’t know where you’re going. You don’t have a strategy to get there. You’re not liking to go places. So this helps you start that.

And I would encourage you to do that because it really does make a difference to get really clear and set real goals with real objectives. According to real priorities on a daily basis, your self worth goes up. Your net worth goes up.

[00:49:35] Bob Wheeler: Well, we will put your information in the show notes, but can you just tell us again, your website is

[00:49:41] Dr. John Demartini: Dr.

demartini.com, D R D E M a R T I N i.com. Dr. dimartini.com. You can spend the rest of your life. Seeing what’s on there, it’s filled with information and education, thousands of podcasts, newspapers, or magazines and radio and television and YouTube is just, it’s there to be an education source for people to go and do something extraordinary with the lush.

Well, that

[00:50:06] Bob Wheeler: is awesome. We’ll make sure we put that up. I’m assuming that they can find your books there as well. If they want to go out and read those great books. I so appreciate you taking the time today to share with our listeners and really just keep paying it forward. So thank you. Dr. Dimartini. Thank you.

Thank you for the

[00:50:25] Dr. John Demartini: great interview. Thank you.

[00:50:33] Bob Wheeler: we hope you enjoyed this episode. Did you learn something new about your relationship to money today? Maybe you have a friend who has some financial blocks or beliefs that are holding them back. Please share this podcast. So they too can get off the rollercoaster ride a financial. And journey towards financial freedom to learn how to have a healthy relationship with money, visit the money nerve.com.

That’s nerve not nerd. We’ll be back next week with another perspective on money and the emotions