It’s Not You, It’s Your Energy. Danielle Ingenito

Bob: [00:01:00] Welcome to another episode of Money You Should Ask. I’m your host, Bob Wheeler. And in this episode, we’re going to explore, question, examine, converse, dig deep, expose, laugh and cry about the money beliefs, money blocks, and life challenges of our next guest. Turn up the volume, listen, learn and laugh.

Well, our next guest is Danielle Ingenito. She is an  expert in healing after toxic relationships. She helps women turn their pain into power with intuitive energy healing and reprogramming subconscious beliefs. She is the creator of The Let It Go Method, which is a step-by-step process of helping women awaken their true self-worth and let go of the constant feeling of needing validation from others people.

Danielle is a certified, intuitive Reiki Master, psychic medium and life coach, and has helped thousands of women take their power back in her challenges and transformational programs. She has nurtured a 60,000 plus person following on both Facebook and YouTube. She is a sought after speaker on podcasts and summits and has been featured on, sheknows.com.

Danielle so great to have you here. Thank you for joining us.

Danielle: [00:01:06] Thank you, Bob. I’m excited to be here and dive into money beliefs.

Bob: [00:01:10] All right. Well, let’s start off with the fact is, you used to be a CPA and then I think you’ve got wiser, but you used to be a CPA. Is that what you wanted to do when you were a kid?

Danielle: [00:01:20] No! I have been to so many different colleges. It’s ridiculous. I actually started out in hotel and resort management. As a kid I actually wanted to travel to all of the hotels and like my favorite thing was to, when we got there, is to explore  the hotels, so I actually wanted to be like a travel writer, but when I looked into it, it was really, really competitive.

And I was like, oh, I might not have a chance with that. So I went to hotel and resort management in  upstate New York, and I was there for about three and a half years. And then I decided to leave that college because I saw all of my friends getting jobs in the hotel resort management, working weekends, working holidays, and I was like,I’ve

already done that for like a lot of years being a waitress. And I was like, this is not the life I want to live. I was like, so my father was a CPA at the time. So I started to do a couple of bookkeeping things with him. And I was like, I just want to help people plan their money. Like I want them to help them budget because I never did.

So I was like, let me help everybody else do it. Even though I had no idea. Really what got into that was, it was all sales. It was all like insurance stuff and everything. And I was like, I didn’t want to do that either. So I was like, you know what, let me go back to school. Let me get my CPA license and let me do accounting because I actually liked it.

Bob: [00:02:36] Oh, that’s, that’s awesome. And did your, did you have other siblings? Did you, did they all become accountants? Was everybody into the money or just assessing the money?

Danielle: [00:02:47] Yes. My brother is a partner in one of the big four firms, but he’s actually on the I.T.  side of it. So he, he actually creates programs for it. So, yeah. So it’s funny that we’re kind of all went into the money, money area in a business and our careers.

Bob: [00:03:02] And did your father or your parents talk to you about money as a kid? Like, did they have budgets and spreadsheets? Did you get an allowance? What was growing up like in an accountants home?

Danielle: [00:03:13] Well, unfortunately I didn’t grow up with my father cause I actually went nine years without seeing my dad.

So I grew up with him until like about, I was like nine or 10 years old. So I did a little bit of like filing for him at that time, which got me into like the business admin stuff. But yeah, no, money, no. I never learned how to manage my money at all. My, actually my father actually left half the house to us, me and my brother.

And when we were 18, we got all that money. And what did I do with it? Before I even got it, I spent it all on credit cards going and traveling everywhere. And then when I got it, I just paid off the credit cards. Probably about a year later, they’re all built back up. So no, I had no idea how to manage money.

Bob: [00:03:54] And when you, so when you blew through the money, and then you got your credit card debt back up, do you remember any conscious thought of like, oh, this isn’t good or it’ll work out? Like, what was that?

Danielle: [00:04:07] I kept thinking it was going to work out. It didn’t really end up that way. You know, I’d put a little on and then it would take a trip and then that would be a large sum. And I would like try to pay that off. But yeah, no, I was really bad with money.

Do you remember anything as a kid where there was a mantra that was said either by parents or by the people that you hung out with, or your parents, friends or grandparents, or a religious organization, you know, that money was good. Money was bad. Do you remember any messages as a kid?

Nothing that I was told, but it’s funny because even in the last year or so, I’ve been doing a lot of healing around money. And what came up for me is that there was so much in my childhood, that was said not directly to me, but between other people, like my mother and my stepfather.

Yeah. My mother, like my, I guess my father never paid child support. So like, I was always hearing stuff like that. My stepfather that was there, you know, he always held money over my mother’s head as well. So like money was a very disgusting thing to me. Like I grew up hating money, so spending it and charging it on my credit card was like, no big deal because like, I really didn’t like money at all.

So I was just like, you know, careless with it.

Bob: [00:05:19] Yeah, I mean money definitely and I, probably a lot more between men and women in relationship, but I know that I used money for awhile because that’s what I learned from my grandparents is money buys love, or money, money buys loyalty or money buys compliance.

Danielle: [00:05:36] Yeah, my, my dad, I realized now, like he, he shows love with money, like buying us stuff, taking us to nice places, but he doesn’t take love with money. It’s not his love language. Right? His love language is quality time, but for us, he always wants to give us money. He’s always given my kids money every time I go around him.

Cause we have a really good relationship now. But yeah, funny, it was really interesting to me though, like how people will show love, but that’s actually not how they receive it. So it’s like, I think we learn as kids, like if you think about like birthday parties and you know, every Christmas and all these different holidays that you get gifts, it’s like, that gift is supposed to show you love.

So people feel like they have to spend money to show people love, but that might not even be how they actually even receive love.

Bob: [00:06:23] Yeah, absolutely. And do, with your children, are you aware of bringing any of that in, that you might’ve brought in unconsciously, unintentional? That now you’re looking and going, oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that to the party.

Danielle: [00:06:36] Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I try so hard. So my son already thinks he’s going to be a millionaire, which is like, and I don’t burst his bubble because I believe he could be anything he wants to be. But I’m very, very careful with, with saying we don’t have the money for that, because I know that with my childhood, I have received a lot of energetic money blocks in my mind, and I have worked very hard and I know I’m not even there yet, but I have worked very hard to get over these money blocks. And I don’t want to give that to my children, but I also don’t want to like spoil them either.

So like, I’m also trying to make them see and the value of money because the millionaire, you know, he’s seven. So it’s like, you know so he believes that like, you know, a hundred dollars is like nothing. And I was like, oh my gosh.Like I used to like pray for a hundred dollars just to be able to spend it on myself and not food or anything.

But I don’t want, I don’t want to take that away. Like I want him to think that a hundred dollars is not nothing, it is nothing because it will help him in his money, you know, journey, I guess, moving forward.So I try really hard whenever they’re saying something to not burst their bubble, but also to teach them the value of it and that they have to work for it as well.

Bob: [00:07:50] Yeah. And when you were growing up, did you notice, in hindsight, did you notice a bias between the way you and your brother were encouraged to do what you wanted? Were you both encouraged to be anything you wanted? Were you encouraged to go out and find a good man?

Like those kinds of things that sometimes seep into things from the culture?.

Danielle: [00:08:12] So, what was funny is when my dad left, right, I actually, at nine years old, put it, I don’t know what age it was that I actually made the shift, but I actually started to be like, well, I’m going to be successful without him.

I’m going to prove to him that I didn’t need him in order to be successful. So that kind of is what drove me to successful now. But my mom always said, like, we had to go to college. We had to go to college. And that was like her main thing for us to go to college, which I’m grateful for now. I am not doing the same with my children just because of what I believe.

But I think we were kind of treated the same. I was never told to get a man for a man to take care of me. I was always going to be the one that took care of me. And unfortunately, you know, I deal with toxic relationships, that I was the one taking care of all the men that I had been with. I was buying them stuff, taking care of them, paying for things.

So, yeah. So I don’t know. I guess maybe it went the opposite for me.

Bob: [00:09:05] Well so talking about toxic relationships and the women that you work with now, is there, not that every, everybody’s story is unique for sure, but I’m wondering if there’s a vein of, I need to, I can fix them or it’s like, there, there might be a mantra or a belief in some of these women that get into these toxic relationships or are, they may have been blindsided as well, but like, is there something that you see, cause women out there, so they don’t feel so alone?

You’ve seen it firsthand.

Danielle: [00:09:37] Oh, yeah. So I think it goes two different ways, right? So there’s women like me who will go, they’re very success driven. And you know, I, we, I work with the word codependency and a lot of people think that that means that we’re dependent on somebody else, but it’s actually not true because there’s a lot of success driven women that have really crappy toxic relationships.

Because it’s just two different dynamics of their relationship and what it is is like we’re seeking that love and seeking that approval outside of ourselves. So we can do it with money. We can do it with success, right? Every time we get a promotion or increase in our pay that validates us and shows us that we’re lovable.

But it can also go the opposite way where we get into this energy of lack, where it’s like, We, we, we try to seek people out instead of working on the career side, we work on the people’s side and it’s like, we do want to fix them because every time we fix something or we try to, it’s validating us and it’s giving us that love that we’re looking for outside of ourselves.

So it can definitely go two different ways. But I do realize that the women that go on the other aspect where it’s like, they dive into the relationship, into the family. They’re just helping, helping, helping they get burnt out. They you know, they don’t receive it back and they don’t allow themselves to receive money for one and also the love that they need.

So I, I can see it going both ways.

Bob: [00:10:58] Yeah. And how did you get into that? You were helping people with their taxes. You were helping people budget, and then you’re like, I’m done with that. I’ve had 12 years of it. Let me go help other people. Let me help women. How, what’s the transition?

Danielle: [00:11:14] How do I go from a CPA to a psychic, medium intuitive healer?

How does that happen? Yeah, a divorce happens, so I was in those toxic relationships and in 2017, we got separated and I dove into, well, first I went on a downward spiral and then eventually I came to my senses and I knew that my kids needed to be okay. So I started my own personal healing journey because I had been in therapy for so long, but like, it just wasn’t working for me.

I kept just rehashing the same things every week, but I wasn’t feeling any different. And I got into I was, I’ve always been a little bit of like, in my dreams, like I will foresee some stuff that actually came up, came true, which was weird to me. But I’ve always been into like tarot readers and stuff like that.

And I always felt like there was something else out there. So I did, I went to a psychic school actually, and I learned how to be psychic and a medium. And then I learned Reiki and I became a Reiki Master and I kind of just put it all together. And when I learned about narcissism and codependency, I was like, I had no idea even after years of therapy, like I had no idea about what that actually means.

So I started learning and learning and learning. And then when I learned, I was like, there’s so many women out there that don’t know about this, that they don’t know that there’s a whole manipulation process that they bring you through. And like, I’ve got to get the word out because I know that there’s other women that need this help.

Bob: [00:12:39] That’s so awesome. And I want to bring up something that you mentioned cause you mentioned it. And I think this is important because I don’t think a lot of people know about it, but narcissism, children of narcissists process the world a little bit differently than the rest of the world. And people may not even know that they’re with a narcissist either in a toxic relationship.

Or that they had narcissistic parents. Can you speak to that a little bit more?

Danielle: [00:13:01] Absolutely. So narcissists to me and we overuse this word nowadays. So like, it, it really means nothing to people, but when I really dove into it, narcissists basically are people that have no empathy for other people.

That’s like my line that crosses over to actual narcissism. And a lot of narcissists don’t get diagnosed because they don’t think there’s a problem. So therefore they don’t go to therapy. The statistics are very low on them. However, it’s because of what I just said. So narcissists, especially in relationships and, you know, it’s a little bit different in the parenting, but the parenting style narcissist, there could be a scapegoat in a golden child.

So if you feel like your sibling was like more important or favored that you could definitely be dealing with the narcissists there you know, not the usual stuff. My kids still say that, but as long as they’re each thing and I’m like, I’m doing a good job. But they will treat you different.

They could be a helicopter. They could be trying to control you. They could be you know, as a parent, they can make it like living through your life. They’re living their life through you, so they can have very high expectations. The other spectrum of that is they can neglect you. They can, you know, verbally abuse you, emotionally abuse you,

make you feel like you’re very little, you know, belittle  you and this can happen in relationships as well. So if you’re in a toxic relationship, it will look like they try to control you. And we talk about finances on here. Like they will try to control your finances. A lot of the women that I work with can’t leave their relationship because they don’t have control over their finances.

So they can’t get out, which is one of the reasons narcissists do that. You know, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse in relationships, like really toxic. They make you feel like you are the problem. They actually make you feel crazy.

Bob: [00:14:40] Yeah. And how do, so a couple of things, so I’m in this toxic relationship, I don’t have any money. Do you help people devise a strategy? So, because it’s you, if you go out into the world, like if you just leave, you have no safety net potentially for a lot of these women, there’s no safety net. How do you help prepare them?

Danielle: [00:15:01] Yeah. So, one thing that I would say is that they have to create a plan and even with, or without money, you have to create a plan because sometimes when you cause a narcissistic injury to these people, they will attack and they could, you know, even if you had money, they can take it all out of the savings account.

So you want to make sure that you open up like your own bank account. You want to make sure that you’re somehow getting money into there, whether you’re borrowing it from somebody, whether you’re working a side job, but they don’t know about it. Whether you’re taking it out of your paycheck so that it goes directly into that other bank account, which maybe they can’t see, but you know, you gotta be a little bit sneaky around them sometimes depending on who you’re dealing with.

But that’s, that’s what I would do formulate a plan so that you can start making a nest egg so that you would have the ability to maybe even rent an apartment. And stuff like that. And then you also want to be careful with the kids and everything. You want to make sure that the kids are on your side because they will again, use manipulation to get the kids on their side.

So yeah, we want to definitely formulate a plan.

Bob: [00:15:59] And I think that’s so important in having a plan, because even if you’re not immediately out of the situation, you’ve got a piece of hope. And you’ve got a roadmap so that it makes it maybe hopefully a little bit more tolerable. Knowing that you’re just in transition and that, that will soon be in the rear window, in the real mirror.

Danielle: [00:16:20] Yeah, for me, like I had to sell my house. I had to rehome my dog. When I got divorced, we had to move into a little apartment. Yeah. And I stayed there for two years before I moved back up to to New York. That was all in New Jersey. So yeah. So you have to, you know, formulate a plan and just realize that it’s not all going to happen at once and just be patient with everything because it’s like four years later and now I’m like living in my dream house, having my dream business.

And that’s one of the things that I never thought. Like I don’t tell a quick story here is when when we got divorced, Like he had just hit top pay and he has like this pension and everything. So like, I was set for life. Like I didn’t have to worry about retirement, top pay. Like I was going to have to work less.

And then two weeks after he hit top pay, we were done. Like we waited like six years for him to hit top pay. I thought like my whole future was like completely caput and now it’s like, I have more than I ever had before.. So also like have that hope of when you do heal and you get out of those toxic situations, like you can make more money and you can be successful.

You don’t have to depend on them.

Bob: [00:17:24] Yeah. And it’s, you know, I want to go back to your personal story about this. You know, you, you talk about that, you healed yourself through the power of energy healing and reprogramming subconscious beliefs. Right. But just for the audience that’s listening, you didn’t just wake up on Saturday and go, oh, today I’m going to start reprogramming and I’m going to use some energy.

Right. It didn’t just happen. So how did you find resource? How did you, what was the motivation to finally get up and say, okay, I’m shaking this off. I’m moving forward enough is enough. Like, can you talk us through that? Because I think there’s so many people out there that feel like everybody, but them can make this journey.

Danielle: [00:18:06] Yeah. So for me it was my children. So that’s really what made me go. And one day my friend had suggested an energy healer, Reiki, specifically. She had been talking about Reiki for awhile and I was like, I don’t know what that is. Like I was a CPA at this time, you know, I was very logical. Didn’t believe in all, a lot of this stuff.

I wasn’t spiritually awakened at this point. And I was like, well, I’m not doing that. Like, that sounds weird. Like, I don’t know what that is. But then one day she’s like, well, I have an energy healer and I was like energy. I’m like, well, I do know that we’re all made of energy. So maybe I’ll try this.

Like, cause I was severely devastated at this point. Like we didn’t have school buses where we were. And like when I went to go pick up my kids, I couldn’t speak to anybody because the tears were just keep coming. Cause he was with someone within like a week after we separated. So I was dealing with a lot.

And so I went and after one session I had felt better. I had felt like I released something, I cried like a baby on the table. She knew things that like, you know, how the heck did she know things that was the intuitive side of her. And it was just an amazing experience and like, you know, I’m  that success driven person.

So. What was that? I got to learn that. So then I went down that road, but you know, if it wasn’t for my children, I would still be in a very bad place because I got involved with another narcissist right after that, because he was with somebody. So I felt like I needed to be with somebody and I didn’t know how to process all of that.

And if my kids weren’t having such a hard time, I probably would have kept going with that. But I saw them, yeah, like, you know, really hurting. So I knew that I had to be good for them to be good. And I know that it trickles down from the parent to the children, if I’m okay. They will be okay. But I watched  a lot of YouTube videos.

I got The Power Of Now, which is an excellent book to kind of open your mind. Yeah, so that it was quite a journey.

Bob: [00:19:59] Yeah. It’s I think it’s so important for people to understand that it’s a journey. You didn’t like wake up two weeks later after the devastation. And then you had your dream house, you lived in an apartment for two years, that was small. You, you had to make concessions, I imagine, and life was not, super perfect. It wasn’t a Disney movie. Knowing that you’ve got a plan, knowing that you’re working towards something that if you, if you keep just moving forward and try not to look back just that at a certain point, you get there and go, oh my gosh, I arrived.

I’ve got the house I’m out of debt. I mean, can you speak to that a little bit more?

Danielle: [00:20:39] Yeah, it’s funny because you know, when you heal yourself and I know that you talk about law of attraction and maybe manifestation on this, on this podcast as well. You know, when you heal yourself, you’re not just healing, you’re raising your vibration.

And when you raise your vibration, you start to attract higher vibrational people. You start to attract higher vibrational opportunities, you know, possessions even, right to you. So you become like a magnet to these things. So, you know, I, I manifested this exact house, like literally the exact number on this house.

I don’t even know how I did it, but it was amazing when it happened. So like, you just don’t know like what you’re capable of until you let go of all the crap that you have been through in your childhood. You got to let go of that. Place that you’ve got to work with, which I know you talk a lot about on here too.

But you gotta let go of everything. That’s happened to you in your childhood and all of these blocks because there’s a lot of energy and you know, like I said, I had worked with a therapist, but what happens is your mind is in one place, but your energy is a completely different place. So, you know, you’re worthy of money, you know, you’re worthy of success, you know, you’re worthy, we have a good relationship, but your energy is holding you back and it’s saying something completely different.

So, you know, you you’ve got to get on that bandwagon of the journey and you got to just keep pushing forward and keep releasing. And I always say like, we’re like an onion and the childhood is just the foundation, which is just the outer layer of the onion. And when you start a business, especially social media, podcasting, like there’s a whole new level of healing that you have to do with self-worth and everything when you’re helping other people.

And, but if you just keep working on yourself, like you will get there. And there’s still so much that I want to do that spirit is guiding me too. And I’m like, oh my gosh. It’s like, are you serious? And like, I still have to heal myself to get to where they want me to be. So just keep healing, keep growing, keep evolving.

Bob: [00:22:28] Keep growing. And I think a big component of that, at least from my perspective and my own experiences, in that place where I know that money is, I’m worthy. And I know that I can have success that I really need to pay attention to the unconscious voice. What I call the under voice, that’s saying, “no, you don’t, you can’t have it.” Because that’s the voice that’s really guiding us.

The logic, that makes sense, all that stuff. That’s not, what’s guiding us. It’s that underneath what’s hidden in our energy and in our subconscious that saying, “you’ll never make it. You’re not worthy, you’re damaged.” All those things. And to me, it’s so important to hear that.

Danielle: [00:23:05] Yeah, I call that voice, the ego. And I talk about dancing with the ego. Like we can’t, we can’t ever let fear win and we have to do things scared. And I always talk about like, my main thing is like, you have to get uncomfortable and a lot of people, and you know, a lot of women that I work with, I tell them that your comfort zone is misery.

That’s where your comfortable. I know it sounds sad, but it’s very, very true because if you’ve grown up with parents, narcissistic parents, or even codependent parents, or if they’re fighting all the time or abusive or anything like that, like you all you know, is kind of, misery, is fear, is numbness, is scared and like, you know, not knowing what’s going to happen next, kind of thing.

And like that’s where you’re comfortable. And that’s why we get into toxic relationships too, because we got the ups and the downs, like a roller coaster ride in these relationships, which were used to from our childhood. So when you start to heal that part of you, it’s like a domino effect. That’s why a lot of women will come to me and they’ll tell me what’s going on right now.

And I’m like, okay, well, let’s go back to your childhood. Like, because what’s happening is they’re just getting triggered right now. It’s just the stuff that is from the childhood coming up. So when you work on that side of you, you start to just release all of that and it allows you to grow and expand and move forward.

Bob: [00:24:23] Yeah. I like to call it the cost benefit analysis because we are getting negative pleasure. Like we are getting something from it. And until we can start to consciously identify the payoff, the negative payoff and the cost that it’s doing to our body, to our soul, to our self worth, until we can look at that and say, “maybe it’s not worth it.”

We’re not going to move out of it. And I like the piece about uncomfortable. One of the things that I ask when I first worked with people, when people sit down to work with me, I say, are you willing to do the work? And are you willing to be uncomfortable? And I have some people say, “No.” And I’m like, well, we’re done.

We’re done. You know, go in peace because if, if we’re not willing to do the work, it is not fun. I just want a name for myself. I go into this kicking and screaming, but I know that when I come out on the other side, I’m, I’m, I’m much more authentic. I’m vulnerable. I’ve been held accountable and that I’m actually moving towards the things that I actually want.

Danielle: [00:25:25] Yeah, I, and it’s important to trust the process too. Like I’m sure the process that you bring them through. And it’s funny, I just did a post today about like, why I invest in coaches all the time now, like where I had a really hard time investing in my first course, which was like $500. And now, like last year I invested over $30,000 in coaches because they have the process

I’m looking for just like I have the process to, you know, heal from these toxic relationships. They have the process to bring me through, you know, developing myself worth and myself identity. I want to say, to get me to where I want to be. I have a book coming out. I want to be on TV, like get my message out to the world.

This is where I’m being guided to and about energy. It’s like, you’ve got to trust the process that your coaches bring you through. And like, I have a course that I was doing. It’s so much writing and I have so much resistance around it, but I know, and I trust her process that, okay, I’m going to do this.

Even if I’m like, you know, kicking and screaming through the whole thing, like, oh, I don’t want to do this, but I do it. And at the end of it, I’m like, oh man, these are all the beliefs. Okay. This is, this is what I needed to see. So you got to trust your coaches process.

Bob: [00:26:32] Yeah. And I, what’s also important to me as you’re talking about that is just to remind people that even the people that we think have arrived, are still evolving.

And so, you know, I know myself, I dig into this work. I explore and I catch myself, even now, I’ll say, oh my gosh, like… It was a few years ago, I became aware that I was using money as a manipulation and to control things because that’s what my grandparents did. And I was mortified because I’m like, I’m not doing that, but of course it makes sense.

It’s, it’s, it’s bloodline. I couldn’t help but happen. And so I think it’s important for people to realize we all keep doing, we’re all doing the work and it’s not always fun. If we want it… Here’s the other thing I found out, not everybody wants to do the work that was mind boggling to me. I thought everybody wanted to be the best version of themselves.

They don’t. And I just couldn’t get past this. And it’s still some days I’m like, whoa. But if you, if you want to have your best life,it requires some effort.

Danielle: [00:27:41] Yeah. I totally agree with you on that one. I’m like, why is nobody signing up for this? They need this. Like, and it’s true. Like we’re scared, there’s fear there.

You know, they don’t want to change their, you know, fear of success is even a thing. Like that’s a huge thing for me, I believe. Cause I feel like when I do become that successful, like, you know, maybe I’ll lose the relationship with my children and like, there’s just all these fears that come along with it.

Yeah. Being successful, not even just being broke, but there there’s so much to get through. And I, and I have an example for you with this, right? It’s like the accounting space where yeah, I could do everybody else’s books and everybody else’s taxes, but mine, mine were on extension.

And so like the last day, you know, it’s like, you can help everybody elsebut is it actually happening for you? So I try to stand true to that now. Like I try to resemble what I’m teaching, so I’m always trying to do that now, but it was funny in the accounting way. I’m like, oh yeah, no, my books aren’t done. Like what are you talking about?

Bob: [00:28:35] Yeah, that’s, absolutely. And I, you know, I just think it’s so important too, for people to again, hear that piece of do it scared, do it with fear, do it anyway. And I talk a lot about this because I want people to know, cause nobody ever told me this.

If you step up and are visible and you give your voice and you step into leadership and you show up in the world, not everybody’s going to love you. Not everybody’s going to rally for you. Not everybody’s going to be your cheerleader.

Do it anyway, like trust your intuition, trust your spirit and go for it. And I think for me a long time, I held back, I was terrified and every decision I made felt like life or death. And I wish somebody had said it’s okay. Not everybody’s going to like you, you don’t need everybody to like you, you just need to show up fully as yourself and let that be enough.

Danielle: [00:29:30] Yeah, for me, I’m a spiritual teacher. So, so first of all, let’s talk about me coming out as a spiritual teacher, because going from a CPA to a psychic medium, like I had to make a whole big post about it on my Facebook page, just because of like, people are gonna think I’m crazy, you know? So I was scared of that judgment.

I did it anyway. I was scared. And what happened was all the people that I thought would judge me were actually reaching out to me saying like, Hey, can I book a session or something like that? And I was. It was like so crazy to me. And then now, even like, you know, People are gonna judge you. They are.

And especially as a spiritual teacher, like, I am not love peace and happiness all the time. Like I want my clients to get angry. I want them to feel their feelings. So like, I don’t teach you like that you have to be grateful all the time. And like, In this kind of like woo-ish  state. I teach the human side of it with the spirituality connection.

So I feel like people will judge me and they won’t follow me just because I do that. But at the same time, that’s who I am. And we resonate to the people that that’s going to  resonate with. So no matter who you are, what you stand for, those people that need you will find you. So don’t worry about all those other people.

And this is kind of like the same thing in toxic relationships. Or even when you raise your vibration, when you raise your vibration and change you, all those toxic people are going to fall away because they’re not going to know how to handle you, or they’re not going to want to be around you. And especially for women in these toxic relationship, codependant

and stuff like that. We have a very hard time when people leave, especially if you have abandonment issues and stuff, but you need to learn to just let them go because you’re rising up. And the people that want to rise with you are going to follow you to that. And they’re going to resonate with you and they want you specifically because what you bring to the table, you’re unique.

Bob: [00:31:17] Absolutely. And I think for many people I know for myself and probably a lot of women, this idea that we needed to bring everybody with us. Like we’ve got to bring everybody along. And the reality is everybody’s on their own journey and they’re not always going to make the journey with us. And as we’re saying no to toxicity,

we might have to say it a lot and we might have to even keep drawing the line deeper for a while so that we don’t revert back to wait, wait, wait. Oh, wait. There was something good. That felt good in that toxic.

Danielle: [00:31:47] Yeah. Yeah, focus on the bad, like seriously, like in these bad relationships, like, especially after they end, all we do is try to focus on the good that we have.

Stop! What is that like 1% of the relationship? Like, isn’t it ironic how our ego likes to focus on all the negative things until it’s put in a situation like that, where then it wants to focus on that  1% of the positive things, is like really ironic to me. But yeah, I totally agree.

Bob: [00:32:16] Take in the good. Well, we are at our fast five, so I’m going to shift the questions  a little bit. We’re just going to jump in and ask some, just random, rapid questions. So what is your favorite thing about your career?

Danielle: [00:32:27] Seeing the women make the transformation that they do. Like when I see that like shift, it’s like, yes, it’s like, I’m so excited for them. And like, I just know that their future is going to be better. And that’s like my favorite part of it.

Bob: [00:32:41] That’s so awesome. What is one thing you own that you wish you didn’t?.

Danielle: [00:32:45] This house, maybe .  I don’t even own it. I rent it because I don’t know where I’m going to be in a few years, but I think I’m, I don’t know. Yeah, I guess that would be my thing.

Bob: [00:32:58] If you were running for office, what would your campaign slogan be?

Danielle: [00:33:02] Ooh, empower women.

Bob: [00:33:04] Awesome. What is your go-to karaoke song?

Danielle: [00:33:08] Oh, geez. I don’t know. Respect is coming to my mind right now, but I’ve got a lot of them. R. E. S. P. E. C. T.. Yes. I’m a horrible singer, sorry,

Bob: [00:33:18] Do you do karaoke?

Danielle: [00:33:19] I don’t. I have never. Yeah. I mean, I do karaoke in my house. My kids are like, shut up, mom. Yeah. There’s a reason they recorded that.

Bob: [00:33:29] Yeah, exactly. Who would you want to play you in a movie?

Oh, my goodness. Oh, I’m not good with celebrities or the only person I can think of right now is Gabrielle Bernstein. Cause she’s very spiritual and stuff, but I know she’s not an actor or an actress. They say, I look from, I can’t remember her name, but they say that I look like the girl from friends, Monica from friends.

I get that a lot. Yeah. I forget her her name though. But she would be funny. Me and her are very similar in personalities, on Friends, anyway.

Oh, okay. Fun, fun, fun. Well, we’re at our sweet spot. Our M and M moment, money and motivation. Is there a practical financial tip or a piece of wealth wisdom that’s worked for you that you can share with our listeners?

Danielle: [00:34:13] Yeah. There’s, well, first of all, okay, so a tip would be, is I write a forgiveness letter, right? So if you have these issues with money, one thing that you can do is write a forgiveness letter to money and it will start like I forgive you money because dah, dah, dah, this is when all that stuff came up for me, that I had no idea I was holding on to.

So that is something that is a very good exercise to do. See what just comes up for you. And this is going to kind of give you an idea of what energetic blocks that you have around money. The other thing is to realize your set points. This is a very big thing when I learned this is that I always had a set point of zero in my bank account.

I always knew that I’d get money, but then it would leave and I would get money and then it would leave. It would always come back to zero at some point. But if you change in your mind what your set point is. So like now it’s like I need $10,000 in my bank account at all times. Right. So, and now it’s going to go up to 30, but

when you have that set point, you, you kind of push yourself to not let it go below, but if you don’t have a set point, it kind of is like up in the air. So when you start to take control of that money, like have a set point of like what your minimum is and like start to push so that it doesn’t go below that.

Bob: [00:35:23] Yeah. I think that’s so important. And I so agree with you that people find that comfort spot of I’m used to being, not overdrawn or I’m used to being at zero or I’m okay with a hundred and then the minute there’s more in it, I got to get rid of it all so I can get back to my comfort. And it’s, you know, even like one of the things that I did was I put a lot of, I have a few different bank accounts, so there’s money, different places and I’ll think about it.

But then if my main account gets down to like, I feel comfortable when it’s a 20 and then anything below that, I start to panic even though, then I’ll go. There’s this other stuff, but, but no, it doesn’t count. And so I really try not to bring all that in because I want to protect myself from myself.

Danielle: [00:36:08] Me too. I automatically have money go into the savings account. So I don’t even see it. I had a, I had a payment for this place. I didn’t even know I was behind because like, I don’t even look at the bank account. I just know everything’s going. And as long as I have that set point, I’m like good to be. I was like, wait, what?

But yeah. Excellent advice and make sure that your money is going other places before you go out and spend it because if you have that amount and you think you’re going to go down to zero, you’re going to go and you’re going to spend it on frivolous things that you don’t need, but when you’re putting it to savings, then like when something comes up, you actually have it.

Where I always use my credit cards is savings because I would rather pay it back then for me, it’s something about having a savings account and then seeing a dwindle versus having it on a credit card and paying it off. It’s weird. Right?

Bob: [00:36:55] Our minds are weird, but it is in our mind. I mean, I so appreciate what you’ve shared today, because I think it’s so important for people that want to have something other than what they have right now, if they’re seeking more, if they want to leave a relationship, if they want to go for that college degree, if they want… whatever it is, they want to be, an artist.

Anything that there’s work involved and we have to get more conscious if we want to move forward, we don’t have to, we can choose to just say, oh, I prefer being a sad victim or oh, everything happens to me and I can’t get ahead, but if we’re going to do the work and. We have a goal. We’ve got something to manifest towards that we can have it.

It’s not going to happen overnight, but do the work, set the boundaries, value yourself, listen to the ego or the under voice. And, and, and, and don’t worry about the judgment that might come when you decide to not be a CPA and become a psychic medium. And people are like, WHAT!

Danielle: [00:37:55] My dad was like, keep that business. Okay. Like, don’t quit your day job.

Bob: [00:37:59] Don’t quit  your day job. That is so awesome. So I so appreciate having you on where can people find you online and social media?

Danielle: [00:38:07] Awesome. Yes. So website is danielleingenito.com. I have a fantastic engaged Facebook group, Turning Pain Into Power, which is women  only. And then I’m also on Instagram and you can find me on YouTube.

Bob: [00:38:20] And tell me a little bit more about this deep energy clearing that you offer.

Yeah. So I have, if you go to my website, there’s a deep energy clearing, which will help you release any energy. And we didn’t really get into this, but I do a lot of energy work where we take on other people’s energy.

So even with this finances, money, like we could be taking on energy from our parents, from our spouse or anything like that. So this energy clearing allows you to just get anybody else’s energy off of you so that you’re only dealing with yours and your energy holds your feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

So working with your energy is really important to get your mind and your energy on the same page.

That is awesome. And you’re going to have a book coming out. Do we have a, have we set a timeline?

Danielle: [00:39:06] I’m being told it’s coming out in May. That is where they’re pushing me to put it out in May. It’s going to be called, It’s Not You, It’s Your Energy. And it’s going to talk about how your energy is causing chaos in your life. So I’m really excited about it. I think it’s a message that we need to get out there because I think energy work can really change the way that we deal with mental health in this world.

Bob: [00:39:25] That is so awesome. And when that book comes out, you got to let us know, cause we’d love to support and push that out there so that you can help get that message out there to help people be their fullest, best versions of themselves. So I appreciate that. I appreciate you.

Danielle: [00:39:37] I appreciate that too.

Bob: [00:39:38] Well, I want to say to our listeners, please, don’t forget to share the love, like follow and  share on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Search for Money You Should Ask, all one word.

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Visit themoneynerve.com. That’s nerve, not nerd. Danielle, thank you so much for taking the time and sharing with our listeners. I so appreciate what you’re doing.

Well, thank you Bob, for having me. I appreciate you having me on here too. I’m hoping your audience learned something today.

Absolutely.