Balancing Business, Motherhood & Money as a Momprenuer. Virginia Elder

00:00:00] Bob Wheeler: Alright, ready? Virginia, thanks so much for taking the time to talk with us today.

[00:00:07] Virginia Elder: Thank you. I’m excited to be here.

[00:00:09] Bob Wheeler: Now I have to apologize the video might not be great because we sort of got bummed from our space and uh, here we are in the big center stage,

[00:00:17] Virginia Elder: is super exciting.

[00:00:19] Bob Wheeler: stage. All right. So I’m going to ask you, so it takes back to 2014 when you started listening to personal finance podcasts.

Spent a little bit. Um, what was going on in your life that led you down that path? And what was your financial situation and your mindset back in 2014?

[00:00:35] Virginia Elder: Okay, so in 2014, my son was two and I had just had my daughter. So, newborn and two year old, kind of a stressful life situation. But on top of that, we were supporting my mom through her divorce from my dad.

So, not a great situation. Family definitely was falling apart there. Um, and one big thing that I didn’t know at that time was, You know, when you want to help somebody out, maybe draw a line at the point at which you’re going to help them. So, you know, just trying to do the right thing. I’m like, Mom, you know, we’re going to take care of this.

We’re going to help you through all this. So we ended up fully funding her divorce, which I’m sure you can imagine did not put us in a great financial situation. Plus, new babies. Daycare costs, I’m trying to work full time, trying to go back to work, like, just, there was a lot of, uh, emotional drama, but also financial drama.

Yeah. Going on right there. I can only imagine. Yeah, that’s a lot. um, and so, what did you

[00:01:44] Bob Wheeler: Daycare costs, I’m trying to do then and there? Like, with all this going on, you had to, something had to change. Definitely.

[00:01:55] Virginia Elder: you know, of course, sequence of events happens and you start to cover costs on a card and, you know, the transmission in this old vehicle that you purchased blows. So you don’t have any disposable cash, but you can take 500 bucks and put that down on a new car. And just all of these things happened.

And suddenly we had 80, 000 in debt, credit cards and a car, and then plus our house. Um, at that point, you add up all the minimum payments that you owe, and they were literally thousands of dollars a month. Like, I have no idea how we did it. Like, like, we were dying before we knew we were dying. And, uh, we definitely got to a point where…

I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m sitting there in a rocking chair crying, holding my baby while my two year old’s sitting there playing on the floor and I’m trying so hard. I’m gonna get emotional. Sorry. I’m trying so hard not to let him realize that I’m crying.

[00:02:56] Bob Wheeler: was

[00:02:56] Virginia Elder: That was the moment I was like, F this. This isn’t what my kids deserve.

This isn’t what we deserve. This isn’t what I set out to be. Do like what am I doing? What have I done? What how have I gotten here? Like all those thoughts start to go through your head. So it was in that moment where I decided Okay, um some credit cards gonna get some phone calls.

[00:03:23] Bob Wheeler: Um,

[00:03:24] Virginia Elder: We are gonna keep the house.

We are gonna pay the electricity. We’re gonna pay for food. You know,

[00:03:29] Bob Wheeler: Um,

[00:03:30] Virginia Elder: we have XYZ formula and just all these, you know, I’m doing inventory literally in my head. What do we have? What do we need? How long can these things last? Um, in that same moment, I don’t remember the number anymore. For a long time I did, but we had very little cash in our checking account.

And I knew my husband wouldn’t get a paycheck for another two weeks. And so I’m just sitting there thinking. Um, and that was just pretty much it. Like, I drew the line and said, shut down everything, basically don’t spend another dime unless we know exactly what it’s for. I mean, it has to be for a necessity.

Um, started calling credit cards and telling them the situation and Asking for help and, um, dove into personal finance podcasts at that point. It was just really like full action mode. I mean, there was nothing else I could do. Sitting there wasn’t going to help. Um, we both already worked full time. I was concerned at that point about, uh, this affecting the kids.

Because I know children develop. Their money mindset by the age of seven and so I was immediately like, okay, that didn’t go so well for me I definitely know my husband has his own set of internal many beliefs that he’s brought from childhood and crap We’re doing it to them too. So that was the just the launch of a complete shift in the way we act and live and Do things.

[00:05:05] Bob Wheeler: I mean, I,

[00:05:07] Virginia Elder: That’s a lot. Sorry.

[00:05:08] Bob Wheeler: No, no. But so here’s the thing, and this is for the listeners to understand, right? As parents, even our parents, your parents,

[00:05:17] Virginia Elder: parents, everybody

[00:05:18] Bob Wheeler: goes with the best intentions like they do. And, you know, I thought my parents had it all together. No idea that they had nothing together at all, and I remember when they didn’t have money

[00:05:32] Virginia Elder: Right. Um,

[00:05:33] Bob Wheeler: And the electricity got cut off.

There’s a reason for up until very recently I made sure there always was a fireplace in the house Because we would cook hot dogs in the fire place

[00:05:44] Virginia Elder: Okay, why? That’ll work. That’ll

[00:05:47] Bob Wheeler: So I get Yeah, when the two weeks isn’t going to get you through and I think a lot of people have been there and so Like it’s a lot because you’re probably judging yourself Bad

[00:06:01] Virginia Elder: time.

[00:06:02] Bob Wheeler: badge, right? And it’s it’s a really hard space to be

[00:06:06] Virginia Elder: and the questions just

[00:06:08] Bob Wheeler: and then

[00:06:09] Virginia Elder: You know, what have I done? How are we doing this? How did we get here? Oh my God, how could I let this happen? Um, and you’re sitting there thinking, well, we have to pay for daycare.

Because I have to go to work, and they have to go somewhere, we have to have diapers, you have to have formula, like, all of those things, um, it just definitely became a point to, uh, and I think back then we still had, you know, cable and things like that, so you’re like, cut the cable, do this, you know, let’s switch phone providers, anything that we could do to save a dime, and, and that was, you know, take all the action, full panic mode, um, And some of the help that I found was personal finance podcasts.

So if I could have stumbled upon your show back then, that would have been great. Um, but, but that’s what it was. I was literally getting advice from other people that had also found themselves in a rough situation. And then now we’re educating people much like you do. So um, that really helped.

[00:07:12] Bob Wheeler: and I think it’s so important to be able to hear other people share the stories helps us know we’re not alone in this.

[00:07:19] Virginia Elder: you’re not dumb and there’s nothing wrong with you.

[00:07:21] Bob Wheeler: And it happens, it happens to good people. And so then you decided to start a podcast in 2019. You’re like, I’m gonna do this. I’m gonna share. So what were you thinking and what was your business planning process?

[00:07:36] Virginia Elder: Yes. So there was, um, from 2014 fast forward to 2019, um, we worked really hard, um, got debt free in that time. So yay. And then from there. Here I am listening to these personal finance podcasts and getting debt free is only like a piece of it.

Right? Then you’re starting to learn about investing and what you should be doing over there. Um, and, and starting to really look at the numbers and how does this project out and how do I turn this whole thing around and create something that Um, not only wasn’t provided to me as far as like wealth or anything like that, but how can I change that path for my kids?

So not only how can we invest well, but how can I start talking about it well with my kids from a positive perspective? Um, so in 2019. The, the process really was started in 2018. I wanted to help other moms who were in the same situation because I found that most personal finance content was by men and often for men.

Nobody talked about daycare costs. Nobody talked about, should you have a Costco card for diapers? Is that really worth it or is there a better way to find that? Well, you know, all…

[00:08:54] Bob Wheeler: are you telling me women have financial problems too?

[00:08:57] Virginia Elder: have financial problems, too. Yes. And yeah, and that was the idea was, okay, I’m a mom. I want to help solve this for moms.

And then the other piece of that was for… women who kind of haphazardly find themselves in charge of the family finances. Um, my husband is great with money, but he does not want to do it. And he’s very conservative with money. So if he was in charge, we would be eating hot dogs and ramen like every night because that’s what’s cheap.

And I’m like, no, no, no, honey, we’re not going to do that. So, uh, a little bit of this. Your situation there. And I want to live a good life, um, with the kids and be doing the right actions. And I wanted to start to help other moms in that way. So started, um, coaching other moms to help them get debt free. And I launched the podcast back then.

Um, it was reaching abundance and the whole idea was, you know, talk us through. The steps to take, how to get debt free, how to get out of this situation, and I knew eventually I would want to take them into investing and follow the path that I had gone on. Um, and so that was, that was the idea. There really wasn’t a deep business plan.

I didn’t hire like some amazing consultant. It was very fly by the seat of my pants.

[00:10:19] Bob Wheeler: make two million dollars, you’re three. It was just… Yeah. Like, I wanna help.

[00:10:23] Virginia Elder: yeah, I want to help. And then the other thought was I want to be home with the kids. I want to be around so that I can help them with stuff.

[00:10:33] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, connection, family, the whole point we’re here sometimes,

[00:10:36] Virginia Elder: Exactly.

[00:10:38] Bob Wheeler: And what were the highs and lows of those 30 months? I mean the three months of the ups and downs, like, Ah, that was the best, that was the worst. What did I do

[00:10:46] Virginia Elder: the

[00:10:47] Bob Wheeler: Of the podcast, of jumping in and, yeah.

[00:10:50] Virginia Elder: I, uh, really enjoyed the coordination and launch process of it and kind of. the puzzle piece, putting all those puzzle pieces together, and that makes sense because I have this audit background where I was looking at invoices and checking out sales tax and you know, so that’s a whole puzzle in itself with sales tax law, um, and I didn’t really realize that that was my strength at the time, but I loved So launching the podcast and helping moms, the struggle that I found was a lot of times while the moms were in charge of the family finances, maybe they didn’t have access to capital to invest and into a coach or even invest in the market.

So any of those conversations were a struggle and that was a frustrating piece to me. So a couple ups and downs there for you. That

[00:11:49] Bob Wheeler: it was time to move on to something different, like you pivoted, you know, and was it despair? Was it, you know, it’s time, like, how did you know? What was that moment?

[00:11:59] Virginia Elder: Um, so pivoting the businesses,

[00:12:02] Bob Wheeler: So, pivoting

[00:12:02] Virginia Elder: want.

Okay.

[00:12:03] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, because you gave up the podcast.

[00:12:05] Virginia Elder: I did. And that was really a haphazard situation, actually. These things just started. I mean,

[00:12:13] Bob Wheeler: Life unfolds.

[00:12:14] Virginia Elder: yeah, there really wasn’t a plan. I wish I had a better, like, amazing planning story for you. Um, so I

[00:12:20] Bob Wheeler: She knew everything ahead of time and had a, had a master plan. No master plan. Most of us don’t have a master plan.

[00:12:27] Virginia Elder: Most of us don’t have a master plan. Not at all. Um, I launched the personal finance podcast actually right before coming to FinCon that year in 2019, thinking, okay, now I can actually go to FinCon and I’m a real creator. I’m a podcaster. I can go and like actually have a platform. And so I was excited to approach FinCon as a creator and not just a fan of the personal finance space because it had helped me. At FinCon that year, a couple of financial advisors heard that I had launched my own show and with no question about like, what’d you do or let me hear your show or anything like that, they said, Oh, you should launch our show. I was like, wait, but I don’t have pricing. This isn’t a business. Uh, okay. So it just it just happened.

We had a really good connection with them and I had to assign pricing. I had to figure out what I was doing so that I could help them with what they needed. Um, and then within two months later, another person came along very much the same, another financial advisor. And I very quickly saw, okay, there is a need for this.

Okay, the financial coaching piece is a little bit slow. This seems kind of hot, so let me just go this way and I can not be the creator, but I can be in the background helping the creators go forward. So that kind of worked out.

[00:13:58] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. And I, I wanna come back to that. We are, um, we’re actually gonna take a moment to test your nerve. Um, test your nerve is brought to you by the money nerve.com. And to the listeners out there, if you wanna test your nerve and uncover the dirty truth about your finances, visit test your nerve.com and take our free quiz.

All right, so here we go. Down and dirty. Let’s see what’s up. Debt or savings, what’s more dangerous?

[00:14:27] Virginia Elder: Debt. I think. I’ve lived that story. I’m done with that.

[00:14:32] Bob Wheeler: um, wine or coffee fuel of choice is an entrepreneur or as a mompreneur. Ooh,

[00:14:37] Virginia Elder: Well, coffee in the morning and then wine after five. Right? I

[00:14:43] Bob Wheeler: That works. That works. Uh, what’s a bigger mess by Nighttime Inbox or Toybox?

[00:14:51] Virginia Elder: Inbox is clean because I worked all day.

[00:14:55] Bob Wheeler: What? Super.

[00:14:59] Virginia Elder: It’s okay.

[00:15:00] Bob Wheeler: What superpower do you tap into the most, uh, as a mom?

[00:15:13] Virginia Elder: Maybe like a… Coach of some sort, uh, whether it be the ball coach or the emotional coach, I think kids need a lot of guidance in that way. Well, and I would say my kids in particular, I’m focused on that because I don’t feel like we got that as kids. Yeah.

[00:15:34] Bob Wheeler: No, totally. What’s on repeat in your headphones? Podcasts or kids songs?

[00:15:41] Virginia Elder: Definitely podcasts in my headphones. Now, if it’s playing out loud, I mean, the kids are always saying like, Alexa, play whatever, and I’m like, what are you doing?

[00:15:52] Bob Wheeler: um, is it harder to say no to snooze button or play date?

[00:15:57] Virginia Elder: Ooh. Ah, that’s a good one. I think the snooze button is really hard to say no to. Okay.

[00:16:09] Bob Wheeler: um, so going back to what you were saying, um, you know, it’s interesting you said, you know, I realize that there’s more. Money to be made or I can be more successful in supporting other people doing their thing. And I’m wondering, ’cause this happens for a lot of people, and I think this is, um, true for me, where at a certain point I said when I was doing standup, okay, I do much better financially doing the taxes and then also helping out the comedy store as, as the CFO.

[00:16:40] Virginia Elder: and

[00:16:40] Bob Wheeler: uh, sort of not getting to do my comedy, right? And I’m curious for you, did it feel, did it feel like a compromise? Did it feel like letting go of something? Or did it feel like, you know, this is, actually this makes sense for me, I’m good with this. Does that make sense?

[00:16:59] Virginia Elder: Yeah, a little bit of both. Um, I will say that, I mean, I don’t know if that old show is still up, uh, because I did stop paying for hosting I think last year, but I kept it all this time.

I kept that show since 2019 and I just keep, kept paying for hosting. I don’t know if I just thought I would pick it back up or, um, I’m not sure, but I let it go, but I didn’t really let it go. So that’s a little bit of a compromise there. But I also figured out what I mentioned earlier about enjoying putting together that puzzle for people.

And I didn’t, I couldn’t have articulated that in my corporate days. I just was. The sales tax auditor. I just, that’s what I did. And I look at invoices all day and people would say, Oh, that’s so boring. And I’m like, well, I enjoy it. But I mean, I couldn’t have told you what piece of that I enjoyed the most.

It was just me. Putting together that puzzle and I understand that now and that’s what I do now in the background. Um, in many ways of life, right? So even for the kids when there’s soccer schedules and basketball schedules and whatever. I’m like, alright, let me master this thing. So, I don’t think I could have known that back then but it was definitely I think a little bit of both.

[00:18:25] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. And it’s interesting because we’re here at FinCon and there’s lots of content creators. Um, and the people that are definitely going to make the money are teaching people how to edit a podcast, how to record a podcast, which camera to buy selling the camera. Right. And so all the, and it’s true in the entertainment world, the people.

Consistently making the money, the managers, the people recording the videos of the auditions and the people that are no, I want to create, I want to create, are sometimes at the mercy of other people controlling their dreams. And so it’s just, it’s just an interesting observation, not good or bad, just of, you know, the support system to those dreams often is the one that continues to make money because there’s always somebody with the dream.

And when this one moves on. Somebody else fills the spot.

[00:19:17] Virginia Elder: Right. And I will say, I think now I’ve thought about starting a different podcast with a very different perspective. But yeah, so it’s like I’m, I’m balancing that creator space with that support space. So. I definitely want to remain supportive of the creation, but then I want to be a little bit creative, too.

So, it’s, it’s a balance. It’s

[00:19:44] Bob Wheeler: It’s probably going to be mommy. You should ask.

[00:19:48] Virginia Elder: Somebody go get that dot

[00:19:50] Bob Wheeler: Get that. com mommy. I’m going to, it’s too close. It’s too close. Um, talk to us. I’m going to switch a little bit and go a little more to the present or maybe the past. Can you talk to us about a time where you had to make a difficult financial decision in your business? Like what was the situation and, and how did you think it through?

[00:20:09] Virginia Elder: Hmm. Hmm. Okay, let me think on that one. I think a… A tough financial decision as far as like on the growth side of things. Um, a lot of small businesses I think face are like the financial piece of it. So when to hire a bookkeeper, when to hire a CPA, when to do all of those things. And they all, Always, any big business expense feels daunting.

And then once you’ve done it, you’re like, Oh, well, clearly I would do this every year, of course. So, the initial switch from doing that stuff myself to saying like, OK, I need a bookkeeper now. OK, we need a CPA now. And, um, those steps felt like really big girl steps for me.

[00:21:01] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, well, you know, it’s interesting. I, um, I’ve never forgotten this comment of a family friend because people would always say to her, you own a business, you own a hotel. That’s so glamorous. And she would say, no, that just means I cleaned the toilets because as the business owner. As the entrepreneur, you’re the one left holding the bag, no matter what it is, good, bad, indifferent.

You’re the one that gets to clean up any of the messes.

[00:21:27] Virginia Elder: Yeah, absolutely. Um, and I think. A lot, in this space, a lot of what I depend on are contractors, and I’ve gotten all kinds of comments back of like, oh wow, like how do you find good contractors, I’ve had the worst luck with contractors, whatever. And I’ve actually found really great contractors, and they’ve been with me for three years.

And um, part of that I think is establishing that relationship up front when we do our first project together. Whether they do a good or bad job, they get paid on that first job. My husband thinks I’m crazy and he’s like, don’t pay that. That’s terrible work, you know, and I’m like, no, no, this is my thing.

This is how I want to run it. Um, so that sometimes is a tough decision to, to pay someone. But then to say, you know, this isn’t really a good fit.

[00:22:17] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, we never like to have those conversations. I think, you know, um, tell us about the ups and downs of being a mompreneur and balancing family and growing your business over the years. Like your honest thoughts.

[00:22:31] Virginia Elder: It’s tough. It’s really tough. That’s like the biggest honest thought. Um, something that has really helped me has been time blocking and marking my calendar off after 2 p. m. Nobody can book an appointment with me after 2 p. m. So I think a lot of business owners would be like, holy crap, like how do you do that?

Um, And I didn’t do that for a couple years, and I found myself feeling guilty because I knew the kids were already home from school, but yet I’m on a call and I can’t go out there and say hi and even greet them and ask how their day was because I’m back here working. So again, where are my priorities?

Why did I start this business? To be home with them. So what are we doing here? So then, you know, drawing those boundaries. And even still, I’ve tightened up the schedule even more and I don’t take appointments on Mondays or Fridays. I only talk to people Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, because for me, Energetically, it’s important to interact with people when I have good energy.

If I want to wear a hoodie and no makeup and I feel grumpy, we shouldn’t be on a call together. So, so I can do that on Mondays and Fridays and not feel guilty about it and then turn it on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. So time blocking has been really important. And then the other thing is just, Honestly, the kids are getting a little bit older.

They’re nine and eleven now, so they understand. Okay, like, let, and I’ll see my son, like, gently shut my office door sometimes because he realizes I’m on a call and he wants to shoot his basketball in the hallway or something. And that really helps for them to understand mommy’s working. This is our income.

It’s important and be respectful of that. So I think the age is very helpful there.

[00:24:19] Bob Wheeler: So I want to You mentioned boundaries. He’s working away

[00:24:40] Virginia Elder: Are they backstage? Sorry? Are they backstage? Yeah, they, they, no, they’re just there on the side. But I don’t think they realize

[00:24:45] Bob Wheeler: side, but I don’t think they realize.

[00:24:47] Virginia Elder: here. Okay. Alright, cool. You’re good to go.

[00:24:53] Bob Wheeler: So taking it back to boundaries, right? how dare they? So, so, you know, so taking it back to boundaries, you, we started off talking about boundaries with your mom. Right? And now you’re talking about boundaries with the kids and setting those boundaries for yourself. I’m curious, in this period of time, um, from when you funded your mom’s divorce to now, how was the relationship with your mom afterwards?

And how has boundary setting occurred with parents as well as clients and with kids?

[00:25:43] Virginia Elder: Yeah, that’s good. That’s a loaded question. Um, so honestly, my mom and I have always had a strange relationship. Um, during my teenage years, I, well, I guess even going further back. I was always daddy’s girl. Um, I’m the oldest of three kids and for whatever reason he and I always connected well. So the divorce was tough for me because the reason I chose to support her through it was because I completely disagreed with his actions and so it was this big shift for me through adult eyes looking at who I thought he was.

And, and realizing that’s a different person. It was very, you know, the rose colored glasses.

[00:26:31] Bob Wheeler: it’s always hard to find out. The parents aren’t perfect.

[00:26:33] Virginia Elder: yeah. And perfection is one thing, but, but this was a whole nother thing. Um, so that shift for me, uh, with my mom was more of like, Um, as a woman, you need access to your own savings, your own money. This stuff happens every day, um, in all relationships.

So it’s not just woman, man, anything like that, but just each partner should have their own access to some funds, just in case, right? And you don’t want to go into any marriage thinking that, and they definitely didn’t. And she never thought that, um. So that was my, the reason I chose to support her, and, and sure, that locked a lot of boundaries.

Um, so, even, even through her divorce and supporting her through that, That was tough, because honestly, I love her, but she drives me nuts. So, just really, really honest. She drives me nuts. She’s a wonderful person. She’s very, very sweet. Um, but even, even after the divorce, I mean, we’ve not always had the best relationship.

wants to be around and she wants to be the supportive grandma, um, our schedules don’t always align. It’s kind of tough sometimes. Uh, as far as boundaries with time, I think I’ve done a great job with that and a big piece of that is the personal development side that kind of comes with entrepreneurship naturally.

[00:28:07] Bob Wheeler: I think

[00:28:08] Virginia Elder: think with kids, As far as boundaries, we’ve done a good job of explaining to them that you want people in your life that make you feel good about yourself, that help you toward your goals, that support you,

[00:28:25] Bob Wheeler: that you want people in your life that make you feel good about your goals and

[00:28:26] Virginia Elder: and that comes into play in the elementary years because a lot of times they’re learning about bullying and they’re learning about just why did this person say that or just little, silly little things that elementary kids do, but We’re able to help explain it from like a bigger perspective.

Like, is this person normally nice to you or was this just like a one time thing? Okay. You know, how often do they make you feel this way? And so we’re trying to instill those boundaries in them like in a more natural way instead of them having to learn those boundaries when they’re like 30 years old. Right, . Absolutely.

[00:29:04] Bob Wheeler: You know, like 30 years

[00:29:08] Virginia Elder: I have no idea.

[00:29:11] Bob Wheeler: old.

[00:29:12] Virginia Elder: We’re just right now. Um, so this is interesting because I was talking to someone else here about this here at FinCon, which I love coming here because then you get all these other entrepreneurs together and we’re able to talk about mindset and all these great topics. I can see Two years out pretty clearly.

I know that I’m working toward getting on more stages. I know I have a book in the back of my brain that I want to start writing. I know I’ve got my own podcast that I want to launch with that fresh perspective I was telling you about. So I can see certain pieces of it and I see how that attracts clients into my business.

And so I can see that, but I can’t see past that. So we’ll see, but the industry is always changing. There’s. Fresh AI and everything coming out. So I don’t know.

[00:30:02] Bob Wheeler: something new. Always, always. Well, we’re at the Eminem moment. Our sweet spot, money and motivation. I’m wondering if you have a practical tip or a piece of wealth wisdom you can share with our listeners.

[00:30:13] Virginia Elder: wisdom you can share with our listeners. So I think the biggest thing that shifted our financial picture was investing every time you get paid, whether that’s 1%. 10%? 20%? Whatever you can do, wherever you are, every paycheck, every time you receive money, if you sell some clothes out of your closet, you get 200 bucks, invest a piece of that.

That’s the biggest thing that shifted things for us, and I, I didn’t know to do that before. I thought investing was something you did when you were rich.

[00:30:52] Bob Wheeler: receive money, if

[00:30:53] Virginia Elder: that changed everything.

[00:30:55] Bob Wheeler: 200 bucks, invest a buck. Yeah. Consistency.

[00:30:58] Virginia Elder: Absolutely. And we started there. We started with 1%, you know, into my 401k. And I thought, well, what are we going to do without that 1%?

But it worked. It worked. Yeah. It worked. We survived without 1%. Exactly. And then later I was able to push that up. So, start somewhere.

[00:31:14] Bob Wheeler: You can make it work. Well, I love that. And so really, my takeaway is a couple of things is trusting. There’s a, there’s a lot of trust there that it’s who knows how it’s going to happen and how, whatever. But there’s a, there’s some trust in the universe. Um, that’s going to make that work.

And the other thing I think that’s really important, even though it’s subtle, it was making a decision like when everything Was not looking good making that decision of I’m gonna I’m going to make it work. I’m going to look at everything. I’m going to reach out to people. I’m going to put my pride aside.

I’m going to put my ego aside and I’m going to do what needs to be done. And I think often for many people, ego keeps us from actually making the choices that actually best serve us. And so in those tough situations, like I just so relate to that, um, of being in those spots and saying, this is what I have to do.

It’s not pretty. I’m a little humiliated.

[00:32:16] Virginia Elder: Yeah. Um,

[00:32:17] Bob Wheeler: And this is what we’re going to do. And so I appreciate that. And even recognizing that, okay, maybe I didn’t set some boundaries. Um, learning to set those boundaries with whoever it is, whether it’s with family, whether it’s with friends, whether it’s with clients, whether it’s with children.

Um, I think the biggest thing. That we can do in service to ourselves and others is setting boundaries.

[00:32:41] Virginia Elder: I agree. Yeah, and I wish I knew that advice like way long time ago.

[00:32:46] Bob Wheeler: Yeah,

[00:32:46] Virginia Elder: But that’s how it is, right? Like you make the mistakes and then you hear the advice. You’re like, I coulda used that , that

[00:32:51] Bob Wheeler: that piece, that piece,

[00:32:53] Virginia Elder: It’s good.

[00:32:53] Bob Wheeler: Virginia, where can people find you online in social media and they can learn more about you and your upcoming eventual book and new podcasts.

[00:33:01] Virginia Elder: Thank you. I’m at podcast abundance.com and on Instagram at Podcast Abundance.

[00:33:08] Bob Wheeler: Thank you so much for joining us and I look forward to hearing this out in the universe.

[00:33:12] Virginia Elder: Thank you. I appreciate you having me. This is great.

[00:33:15] Bob Wheeler: That’s great. Thanks.

[00:33:17] Virginia Elder: Thank you. Awesome. Awesome. Oh, you’re so sweet. It was like, Oh my God, someone needs to embrace her when you were.

[00:33:31] Bob Wheeler: sort of going through that moment.

No, I’m going to do the first five questions, then I’m going to move to, um, test your nerve. No, no, no. Let me know when we’ve, let me know when we’ve hit 30 minutes. I guess, let me know when I’m at 20 to make sure that I’ve gotten to, okay. I’ll know that that equals 10 minutes each per finger. No, no, no. I’m used to not being able to see the timer most of the time because things move around.

Wow. Alright, the universe is recording too. Alright, ready?

Virginia, thanks so much for taking the time to talk with us today. Now I have to apologize the video might not be great because we sort of got bummed from our space and uh, here we are in the big center stage, the main stage. All right. So I’m going to ask you, so it takes back to 2014 when you started listening to personal finance podcasts.

Spent a little bit. Um, what was going on in your life that led you down that path? And what was your financial situation and your mindset back in 2014? Okay,

so in 2014, my mom through her divorce from my dad. So, not a great situation. Family definitely was falling apart there. Um, and… One big thing that I didn’t know, I thought, to

help somebody out, maybe draw a line at the point at which you’re going to help them. So, you know, just trying to do the right thing. I’m like, Mom, you know, we’re going to take care of this. We’re going to help you through all this. So we ended up fully funding her divorce. Which I’m sure you can imagine, put us in a great financial situation.

Plus, new babies.

Daycare costs, I’m trying to do then and there? Like, with all this going on, you had to, something had to change. Definitely. It happens and you start to cover costs on a card, and you know, the transmission in this old vehicle that you purchased blows, so you don’t have any disposable cash, but you can take 500 bucks and put that down on a new car.

Right. And just all of these things happened, and suddenly we had dollars in debt, credit cards, and a car, and then plus our house. At that point, you add up all the minimum payments that you owe, and they were literally…

I have no idea how we Like, we were dying before we knew we were dying. And, uh, we definitely got to a point where I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m sitting there in a rocking chair, crying, holding Well, my two year old’s sitting there playing on the floor, and I’m trying so hard I’m gonna get emotional. Sorry.

I’m trying so I was like, God. This isn’t what my kids deserve. This isn’t what we deserve. This isn’t what I set out to do. Like, what am I doing? What have I done? How have I gotten here? Like, all those thoughts start to go through your head. So, it was in that moment where I decided, Okay, um, some credit cards can get some phone calls.

Um, we are going to keep the house. We are going to pay the electricity. We’re going to pay for food. Um, you know, we have… XYZ formula and just all these, you know, I’m doing inventory literally in my head. What do we have? What do we need? How long can these things last? Um, in that same moment, I don’t remember the number anymore.

For a long time I did. But we had very little cash in our checking account. And I knew my husband wouldn’t get a paycheck for another two weeks. And so I’m just sitting there thinking. Um, and that was just pretty much it. Like, I drew the line and said, Shut down everything. Basically don’t spend another dime unless we know exactly what it’s for.

I mean, it has to be for a necessity. Um, started calling credit cards and telling them the situation and asking for help and, um, dove into personal finance podcast at that point. It was just really like full action mode. Yep. I mean, there was nothing else I could do. Sitting there wasn’t gonna help. Um, we both already worked full time.

I was concerned at that point about, uh, this affecting the kids. Because I know children develop their money mindset by the age of seven. And so I was immediately like, okay, that didn’t go so well for me. I definitely know my husband has his own set of internal money beliefs that he’s brought from childhood.

And, crap, we’re doing it to them too. So that was the, just, the launch.

I mean, I, it’s a lot. No, no. But so here’s the thing, and this is for the listeners to understand, right? As parents, even our parents, your parents, everybody goes with the best intentions like they do. And, you know, I thought my parents had it all together. No idea that they had nothing together at all, and I remember when they didn’t have money And the electricity got cut off.

There’s a reason for up until very recently I made sure there always was a fireplace in the house Because we would cook hot dogs in the fire place

So I get Yeah, when the two weeks isn’t going to get you through and I think a lot of people have been there and so Like it’s a lot because you’re probably judging yourself Bad parenting badge, right? And it’s it’s a really hard space to be and then

We have to hyper, you have to have those things. Just definitely became a point to, uh, and I think back then we still had cable and things like that. Right. Cut the cable, do this, you know, let’s switch phone providers, anything that we could do to save a dime. Yeah. And, and that was, you know, take all the action, full panic mode.

Um, and some of the help that I found was personal finance podcasts. Yeah. So if I could have.

And I, and I think it’s so important to be able to hear other people share the stories helps us know we’re not alone in this. Nothing wrong. And it happens, it happens to good people. And so then you decided to start a podcast in 2019. You’re like, I’m gonna do this. I’m gonna share. So what were you thinking and what was your business planning process?

And giving debt for you is only like a piece of it, right? Right. And you’re starting to learn about investing and what you should be doing over there. Um mm-Hmm. and, and starting to really look at the numbers and how does this project out? And how do I school thing around, create something that, to me, is just well, but a positive perspective.

Uh, so in 2019, the, the process really was started in 2018. I wanted to help other moms, who were in the same situation. Cause I found

that most personal finance content was, Right.

Wait a minute, are you telling me women have financial problems too? What?

Right.

So if he was in charge, we would be eating hot dogs like every night because that’s what’s cheap. And I’m like, no, no, no, we’re not going to do that. So, uh, a little bit of the scarcity situation there. And I want to live a good life, um, with the kids and be doing the right actions. And I wanted to start to help other moms in that way.

So, started, um, coaching other moms. Moms to help them get debt free. And I watched the podcast back then. Uh, it was reaching abundance. Mm-Hmm. . And the whole idea was, you know, talk us through the steps to take, how to get debt free, how to get out of this situation. And I knew eventually I would want to take them into investing and, and follow the path.

Right.

That was the idea. There really wasn’t a deep business plan. Okay. I didn’t hire like some amazing consultant. It was very fly by the… It wasn’t, I’m gonna make two million dollars, you’re three. It was just… Yeah. Like, I wanna help. Yeah. I wanna help. And then the other… Yeah. I wanna be around. Which is, which is noble, which is like…

Yeah, connection, family, the whole point we’re here sometimes, right? And what were the highs and lows of those 30 months? I mean the three months of the ups and downs, like, Ah, that was the best, that was the worst. What did I do this for? Of the podcast, of jumping in and, yeah. I really enjoyed,

that makes sense, because I have this audit background where I’m looking at invoices and checking out bills tax, and yeah, so that’s the whole puzzle in itself. Right. Um, and I didn’t really realize strength at the time, but I loved launching the podcast and helping moms. The struggle that I found was a lot of times, while the moms were in charge, maybe they didn’t have access to capital to invest and into a coach.

Or even invest in the market. So any of those conversations were a struggle, and that was a frustrating piece to me. Yep. How did you know? That it was time to move on to something different, like you pivoted, you know, and was it despair? Was it, you know, it’s time, like, how did you know? What was that moment?

So, pivoting Okay. Yeah, because you gave up the podcast. I did. And that was really… Okay. Life unfolds.

She knew everything ahead of time and had a, had a master plan. No master plan. Most of us don’t have a master plan.

Okay. Thinking, okay, now I can actually go to FinCon. I’m a full creator. I’m a podcaster. I can go and like, I have a platform. And so I was excited to approach FinCon as a creator. Yeah.

Financial advisors heard that I had launched my own show and with no question about like what you do or let me hear your show or anything like that, they said, Oh, you should launch our show. Wait, but I don’t have prices. Okay. So it just, it just happened. Um, we had a really good connection with them. I had to assign pricing.

I had to figure out what I was doing so that I could. Um, and then within two months, a person came along, very much our financial advisor, and I very quickly saw, okay, there is a need for this, okay, the financial coaching piece is a little bit slow, this seems kind of hot, so let me just go this way, and I can not be the creator, but I can be in the background, helping the creators go forward.

So, okay. . Okay. Yeah. And I, I wanna come back to that. We are, um, we’re actually gonna take a moment to test your nerve. Um, test your nerve is brought to you by the money nerve.com. And to the listeners out there, if you wanna test your nerve and uncover the dirty truth about your finances, visit test your nerve.com and take our free quiz.

All right, so here we go. Down and dirty. Let’s see what’s up. Debt or savings, what’s more dangerous?

I think

um, wine or coffee fuel of choice is an entrepreneur or as a mompreneur. Ooh, well, coffee

That works. That works. That works. Uh, what’s a bigger mess by Nighttime Inbox or Toybox?

Inbox. Plain . What? Super.

It’s okay. What superpower do you tap into the most, uh, as a mom?

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, totally. What’s on repeat in your headphones? Podcasts or kids songs? It’s definitely podcast . Now if it’s playing,

um, is it harder to say no to snooze button or play date?

I think the snooze button is really hard to say no to. Okay. It’s, um, so going back to what you were saying, um, you know, it’s interesting you said, you know, I realize that there’s more. Money to be made or I can be more successful in supporting other people doing their thing. And I’m wondering, ’cause this happens for a lot of people, and I think this is, um, true for me, where at a certain point I said when I was doing standup, okay, I do much better financially doing the taxes and then also helping out the comedy store as, as the CFO.

And, uh, sort of not getting to do my comedy, right? And I’m curious for you, did it feel, did it feel like a compromise? Did it feel like letting go of something? Or did it feel like, you know, this is, actually this makes sense for me, I’m good with this. Does that make sense? Yeah. A Um, because I did stop paying for hosting.

I think I did, but I kept it all this time. I’ve had that show since 2019. And I just kept paying for hosting. I don’t know if I just thought I would pick it back up, or, sure, but I I let it go, but I didn’t really let it go. So that’s a little bit of a compromise there. But I also figured out what I mentioned earlier about putting together that puzzle.

And I didn’t I couldn’t have articulated that in my corporate days. I just was the And I just, that’s what I did. And I look at invoices all day and people would say, Oh, that’s so boring. And I’m like, well, I enjoy it. But, I mean, I couldn’t have told you what piece of that I enjoyed the most. It was just me putting together that puzzle.

And I understand that now. And that’s what I do now in the background. Um, in many ways of life, right? So, even for the kids, when there’s soccer schedules and basketball schedules and whatever, I’m like, alright, let me master this thing. So, I don’t think I could have known that back then, but it was definitely…

Yeah. And it’s interesting because we’re here at FinCon and there’s lots of content creators. Um, and the people that are definitely going to make the money are teaching people how to edit a podcast, how to record a podcast, which camera to buy selling the camera. Right. And so all the, and it’s true in the entertainment world, the people.

Consistently making the money, the managers, the people recording the videos of the auditions and the people that are no, I want to create, I want to create, are sometimes at the mercy of other people controlling their dreams. And so it’s just, it’s just an interesting observation, not good or bad, just of, you know, the support system to those dreams often is the one that continues to make money because there’s always somebody with the dream.

And when this one moves on. Somebody else fills the spot. Right.

With a very different perspective. But yeah, so it’s like I’m balancing that creator space with that support space. So, I definitely want to remain supportive of the creation. Right. But then, I want to be a little bit creative too. So, it’s a balancing act. It’s probably going to be mommy. You should ask.

Get that. com mommy. I’m going to, it’s too close. It’s too close. Um, talk to us. I’m going to switch a little bit and go a little more to the present or maybe the past. Can you talk to us about a time where you had to make a difficult financial decision in your business? Like what was the situation and, and how did you think it through?

Yeah. Always, any big business expense feels daunting. And once you’ve done it, you’re like, Oh, well, clearly I’m worse. So, the initial switch from doing that stuff myself to saying, like, okay, I need a bookkeeper now, okay.

Yeah, well, you know, it’s interesting. I, um, I’ve never forgotten this comment of a family friend because people would always say to her, you own a business, you own a hotel. That’s so glamorous. And she would say, no, that just means I cleaned the toilets because as the business owner. As the entrepreneur, you’re the one left holding the bag, no matter what it is, good, bad, indifferent.

You’re the one that gets to clean up any of the messes.

Yes, and I don’t pay that on it. Yeah. Um, so that sometimes is a tough decision. Yep. To pay someone, but then to say… Yeah, we never like to have those conversations. I think, you know, um, tell us about the ups and downs of being a mompreneur and balancing family and growing your business over the years. Like your honest thoughts.

My biggest honest thought, something that has really helped me has been time walking.

I think a lot of business owners should be like, how do you do that? Um, and I didn’t do that for a couple years and I found myself… I’m guilty because I knew the kids were already home from school, but yet I’m on a call and I can’t go out there and say hi and even greet them. And ask how their day was because I’m back here working.

So again, where are my priorities? Why did I start this business? To be home with them. So then, you know, drawing those boundaries. And even still, I’ve tightened up the schedule even more and I don’t take appointments on Mondays or Fridays. Okay. I think it’s really important to talk to people Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, because for me, energetically, it’s important to interact with people when I have good energy.

If I want to wear a hoodie and no makeup and be grumpy, we shouldn’t be on a call together. Right. So, so I can do that on Mondays and Fridays. I’m guilty about it and then turn it on on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. So, time blocking has been really important.

The kids are getting a little bit older. They’re nine and, so they understand. And Okay. Like let, and I’ll see my son like gently shut my office door sometimes ’cause he realizes I’m gonna call, shoot his basketball in the halls

for them to understand mommy’s working, this is our income. It’s important. And the age is very there is helping. So I want to You mentioned boundaries.

He’s working away

stage. Yeah. They, they, no, they’re just there on the side, but I don’t think they realize.

That’s fine.

So taking it back to boundaries, right?

well, how dare they? So, so, you know, so taking it back to boundaries, you, we started off talking about boundaries with your mom. Right? And now you’re talking about boundaries with the kids and setting those boundaries for yourself. I’m curious, in this period of time, um, from when you funded your mom’s divorce to now, how was the relationship with your mom afterwards?

And how has boundary setting occurred with parents as well as clients and with kids? That’s good. That’s a loaded question. Um, so honestly, my mom and I have always had a strange relationship.

Teenagers, I, well, I guess even going further back, I was always daddy’s girl. Three kids, and for whatever reason, he and I always connected well. So the divorce was tough. The reason I chose to support her through it was because I completely disagreed with his actions. And so it was this big shift for me through adult eyes.

Looking at

and, and realizing that’s a different person. Yep. It was very, you know, the rose. Oh, it’s always hard to find out. The parents aren’t perfect. Yes. Yeah. and perfection is one thing, but, but this is a whole nother thing. Yeah. Um, so that shift for me

to, your own savings to your own. Mm-Hmm. money. This stuff happens every day. Um, in all relationships. So it’s not just woman, man, anything. Each partner, their owners. Just in

case. And you don’t want to go into any marriage thinking that we didn’t. And she never. Um, so that was my, the reason I chose to support her and, and sure, that worked.

So, even, even through her divorce and supporting her through that was tough. Because, honestly, I love her, but she drives me nuts. Just really, really honest. She drives me nuts. She’s a wonderful person. She’s very, very sweet. Um, but even, even after the divorce, I mean, we’ve not always had the best relationship.

She wants to be around. She wants to be the supportive grandma. Um, our schedules don’t always align. It’s kind of tough sometimes. Uh, as far as boundaries with time, I think I’ve done a great job with that. And a big piece of that is the person. side that kind of comes with entrepreneurship naturally. I think with kids, as far as boundaries, we’ve done a good job of explaining to

them that you want people in your life that make you feel good about your goals and support you. And that comes into play in elementary years because a lot of times, they’re learning about bullying and they’re learning about Did this person say that? Right. Little, silly little things that elementary kids do, but we’re able to help explain it from like a bigger perspective.

Like, is this person normally nice to you? Or was this just like a one time thing? Okay, you know, how often do they make you feel this way? So we’re trying to instill those boundaries in them, like in a more mathy, instead of them having to learn those boundaries.

You know, like 30 years

old. I have no idea. We’re just gonna, no. Um, so this is interesting because I was talking to someone else here about this. Um, here at

ThinkLine. We’re able to talk about great topics. I can see two years out pretty clearly. I know that I’m working toward getting on more stages. I know I have a book in the back of my brain that I want to start writing. I know I’ve got my own podcast that fresh perspective. I was telling you about, so I can see certain pieces of it and I see how that attracts clients into my business.

And so I can see that, but I can’t. Okay. Yeah, we’ll see.

something new. Always, always. Well, we’re at the Eminem moment. Our sweet spot, money and motivation. I’m wondering if you have a practical tip or a piece of wealth wisdom you can share with our listeners.

Mm

hmm.

Every time you

receive money, if you get 200 bucks, invest a buck. Yeah. Consistency. Yeah. Absolutely. And we started with,

Yeah. And I thought,

what it worked. It worked. It worked. You can make it work. Well, I love that. And so really, my takeaway is a couple of things is trusting. There’s a, there’s a lot of trust there that it’s who knows how it’s going to happen and how, whatever. But there’s a, there’s some trust in the universe. Um, that’s going to make that work.

And the other thing I think that’s really important, even though it’s subtle, it was making a decision like when everything Was not looking good making that decision of I’m gonna I’m going to make it work. I’m going to look at everything. I’m going to reach out to people. I’m going to put my pride aside.

I’m going to put my ego aside and I’m going to do what needs to be done. And I think often for many people, ego keeps us from actually making the choices that actually best serve us. And so in those tough situations, like I just so relate to that, um, of being in those spots and saying, this is what I have to do.

It’s not pretty. I’m a little humiliated. And this is what we’re going to do. And so I appreciate that. And even recognizing that, okay, maybe I didn’t set some boundaries. Um, learning to set those boundaries with whoever it is, whether it’s with family, whether it’s with friends, whether it’s with clients, whether it’s with children.

Um, I think the biggest thing. That we can do in service to ourselves and others is setting boundaries.

Yeah, absolutely. That’s that piece, that piece, Virginia, where can people find you online in social media and they can learn more about you and your upcoming eventual book and new podcasts.

Thank you so much for joining us and I look forward to hearing this out in the universe. Thank you. That’s great. Thanks.

It was like, oh my God, someone needs to embrace her when you’re sort of going through that moment.

[01:07:40] Virginia Elder: I’m going to do the first five questions then I’m going to move to, um, do you want to test your nerve? No, no, no. Let me know. I might talk too much. Let me know when we’ve hit 30 minutes. I guess, let me know when I’m at 20 to make sure that I’ve gotten to. I’ll just do this. Okay. Okay. 10 minutes each. Okay.

to set the timer down here so you can see it running? No. Okay. I’m used to not being able Awesome.

Virginia, thanks so much for taking the time to talk with us today. Thank you. I’m excited to be here. Now, I have to apologize. The video might not be great because we sort of got bumped from our space and here we are in the big center stage. That is super exciting. All right. So I’m going to ask you. So it takes back to 2014 when you started listening to personal finance.

Yeah. Um, what was going on in your life that led you down that path, and what was your financial situation and your mindset? Okay, so in 2014, my son was two and I had just had my daughter. So, newborn and two year old, kind of a stressful life situation. But on top of that, we were supporting my mom through her divorce from my dad.

So, not a great situation. Family definitely was falling apart there. Um, and one big thing that I didn’t know at that time was, You know, when you want to help somebody out, maybe draw a line at the point at which you’re going to help them. So, you know, just trying to do the right thing. I’m like, Mom, you know, we’re going to take care of this.

We’re going to help you through all this. So we ended up fully funding her divorce, which I’m sure you can imagine did not put us in a great financial situation. Plus, new babies. Daycare costs, I’m trying to work full time, trying to go back to work, like, just, there was a lot of, uh, emotional drama, but also financial drama.

Yeah. Going on right there. I can only imagine. Yeah, that’s a lot. And so, um, and so, what did you decide to do then and there? Like, you had this going on. Mm hmm. You had to…

Something had to the point where, um, you know, of course, sequence of events happens and you start to cover costs on a card and, you know, the transmission in this old vehicle that you purchased blows. So you don’t have any disposable cash, but you can take 500 bucks and put that down on a new car. And just all of these things happened.

And suddenly we had 80, 000 in debt, credit cards and a car, and then plus our house. Um, at that point, you add up all the minimum payments that you owe, and they were literally thousands of dollars a month. Like, I have no idea how we did it. Like, like, we were dying before we knew we were dying. And, uh, we definitely got to a point where…

I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m sitting there in a rocking chair crying, holding my baby while my two year old’s sitting there playing on the floor and I’m trying so hard. I’m gonna get emotional. Sorry. I’m trying so hard not to let him realize that I’m crying. That was the moment I was like, F this. This isn’t what my kids deserve.

This isn’t what we deserve. This isn’t what I set out to be. Do like what am I doing? What have I done? What how have I gotten here? Like all those thoughts start to go through your head. So it was in that moment where I decided Okay, um some credit cards gonna get some phone calls. We are gonna keep the house.

We are gonna pay the electricity. We’re gonna pay for food. You know, we have XYZ formula and just all these, you know, I’m doing inventory literally in my head. What do we have? What do we need? How long can these things last? Um, in that same moment, I don’t remember the number anymore. For a long time I did, but we had very little cash in our checking account.

And I knew my husband wouldn’t get a paycheck for another two weeks. And so I’m just sitting there thinking. Um, and that was just pretty much it. Like, I drew the line and said, shut down everything, basically don’t spend another dime unless we know exactly what it’s for. I mean, it has to be for a necessity.

Um, started calling credit cards and telling them the situation and Asking for help and, um, dove into personal finance podcasts at that point. It was just really like full action mode. I mean, there was nothing else I could do. Sitting there wasn’t going to help. Um, we both already worked full time. I was concerned at that point about, uh, this affecting the kids.

Because I know children develop. Their money mindset by the age of seven and so I was immediately like, okay, that didn’t go so well for me I definitely know my husband has his own set of internal many beliefs that he’s brought from childhood and crap We’re doing it to them too. So that was the just the launch of a complete shift in the way we act and live and Do things.

I mean, I… That’s a lot. Sorry. No, no. So here’s the thing. And this is for the listeners to understand, right? As parents, even our parents, your parents, everybody goes with the best intentions. Yeah. They do. Yeah. And, you know, I thought my parents had it all together. Mm hmm. No idea that they had nothing together at all.

And I remember when they didn’t have money. Right. Um, and, The electricity got cut off. There’s a reason for up until very recently I made sure there always was a fireplace in the house. Because we would cook hot dogs in the fireplace. Okay, why? That’ll work. That’ll work. So, uh, I get when the two weeks isn’t gonna get you through.

And I think a lot of people have been there. And so, like, it’s a lot because you’re probably judging yourself. The whole time. It’s a really hard space to be. Yeah, and the questions just flood. You know, what have I done? How are we doing this? How did we get here? Oh my God, how could I let this happen? Um, and you’re sitting there thinking, well, we have to pay for daycare.

Because I have to go to work, and they have to go somewhere, we have to have diapers, you have to have formula, like, all of those things, um, it just definitely became a point to, uh, and I think back then we still had, you know, cable and things like that, so you’re like, cut the cable, do this, you know, let’s switch phone providers, anything that we could do to save a dime, and, and that was, you know, take all the action, full panic mode, um, And some of the help that I found was personal finance podcasts.

So if I could have stumbled upon your show back then, that would have been great. Um, but, but that’s what it was. I was literally getting advice from other people that had also found themselves in a rough situation. And then now we’re educating people much like you do. So um, that really helped. And I think it’s so important to be able to hear other people share the stories.

It helps us know. We’re not alone in this and you’re not dumb and there’s nothing wrong with you. It, yes, it happens. It happens to good people. And so then you decided.

So I’m going to share some, what were you thinking and what was your business planning process? Yes. So there was, um, from 2014 fast forward to 2019, um, we worked really hard, um, got debt free in that time. So yay. And then from there. Here I am listening to these personal finance podcasts and getting debt free is only like a piece of it.

Right? Then you’re starting to learn about investing and what you should be doing over there. Um, and, and starting to really look at the numbers and how does this project out and how do I turn this whole thing around and create something that Um, not only wasn’t provided to me as far as like wealth or anything like that, but how can I change that path for my kids?

So not only how can we invest well, but how can I start talking about it well with my kids from a positive perspective? Um, so in 2019. The, the process really was started in 2018. I wanted to help other moms who were in the same situation because I found that most personal finance content was by men and often for men.

Nobody talked about daycare costs. Nobody talked about, should you have a Costco card for diapers? Is that really worth it or is there a better way to find that? Well, you know, all… He’s telling me women have financial problems, too. Yes. And yeah, and that was the idea was, okay, I’m a mom. I want to help solve this for moms.

And then the other piece of that was for… women who kind of haphazardly find themselves in charge of the family finances. Um, my husband is great with money, but he does not want to do it. And he’s very conservative with money. So if he was in charge, we would be eating hot dogs and ramen like every night because that’s what’s cheap.

And I’m like, no, no, no, honey, we’re not going to do that. So, uh, a little bit of this. Your situation there. And I want to live a good life, um, with the kids and be doing the right actions. And I wanted to start to help other moms in that way. So started, um, coaching other moms to help them get debt free. And I launched the podcast back then.

Um, it was reaching abundance and the whole idea was, you know, talk us through. The steps to take, how to get debt free, how to get out of this situation, and I knew eventually I would want to take them into investing and follow the path that I had gone on. Um, and so that was, that was the idea. There really wasn’t a deep business plan.

I didn’t hire like some amazing consultant. It was very fly by the seat of my pants.

Yeah, I just, yeah, I want to help. And then the other thought was I want to be home with the kids. I want to be around so that I can help them with stuff. Yeah, connection. Yeah, the whole point. We’re here sometimes. Exactly. Exactly. What were the highs and lows of those 30 months? I mean, the three months, ups and downs, like that was the best.

That was the worst of the, of the podcast. Okay. Yes. I, uh, really enjoyed the coordination and launch process of it and kind of. the puzzle piece, putting all those puzzle pieces together, and that makes sense because I have this audit background where I was looking at invoices and checking out sales tax and you know, so that’s a whole puzzle in itself with sales tax law, um, and I didn’t really realize that that was my strength at the time, but I loved So launching the podcast and helping moms, the struggle that I found was a lot of times while the moms were in charge of the family finances, maybe they didn’t have access to capital to invest and into a coach or even invest in the market.

So any of those conversations were a struggle and that was a frustrating piece to me. So a couple ups and downs there for you. That it was time to move on to something different. Like you pivoted, you know, and was it despair? Was it, you know, it’s time. How did you know? What was that moment? Um, so pivoting the businesses, that’s what you want.

Okay. Yeah, because you gave up the podcast. I did. And that was really a haphazard situation, actually. These things just started. I mean, yeah, yeah, there really wasn’t a plan. I wish I had a better, like, amazing planning story for you. Um, so I actually launched… She knew everything, had a time, and had a master plan.

No. Most of us don’t have a master plan. Not at all. Um, I launched the personal finance podcast actually right before coming to FinCon that year in 2019, thinking, okay, now I can actually go to FinCon and I’m a real creator. I’m a podcaster. I can go and like actually have a platform. And so I was excited to approach FinCon as a creator and not just a fan of the personal finance space because it had helped me.

At FinCon that year, a couple of financial advisors heard that I had launched my own show and with no question about like, what’d you do or let me hear your show or anything like that, they said, Oh, you should launch our show. I was like, wait, but I don’t have pricing. This isn’t a business. Uh, okay. So it just it just happened.

We had a really good connection with them and I had to assign pricing. I had to figure out what I was doing so that I could help them with what they needed. Um, and then within two months later, another person came along very much the same, another financial advisor. And I very quickly saw, okay, there is a need for this.

Okay, the financial coaching piece is a little bit slow. This seems kind of hot, so let me just go this way and I can not be the creator, but I can be in the background helping the creators go forward. So that kind of worked out. Yeah, and I want to come back to that. Okay. We’re actually going to take a moment to test your nerve.

Test your nerve is brought to you by themoneynerve. com. And to the listeners out there, this If you want to test your nerve and uncover the dirty truth about your finances, visit testyournerve. com and take our free quiz. Alright, so here we go. Down and dirty. Okay. Debt or savings? What’s more dangerous?

Debt. I think. I’ve lived that story. I’m done with that. Wine or coffee? Fuel of choice as a mompreneur? Ooh. Well, coffee in the morning and then wine after five. Right? I could do both. Definitely Toy Box.

Inbox is clean because I worked all day.

It’s okay. Hmm. Hmm.

Maybe like a… Coach of some sort, uh, whether it be the ball coach or the emotional coach, I think kids need a lot of guidance in that way. Well, and I would say my kids in particular, I’m focused on that because I don’t feel like we got that as kids. Yeah. Yeah. No, totally. What’s on repeat in your headphones, podcasts or kids songs?

Definitely podcasts in my headphones. Now, if it’s playing out loud, I mean, the kids are always saying like, Alexa, play whatever, and I’m like, what are you doing? Um, is it harder to say no to snooze button or play date? Ooh. Ah, that’s a good one. I think the snooze button is really hard to say no to. Okay. Um, so going back to what you were saying, um, you know, it’s interesting you said, you know, I realize that there’s more money to be made or I can be more successful in supporting other people.

Mm-Hmm. doing their thing. Mm-Hmm. . And I’m wondering, ’cause this happens for a lot of people, and I think this is, um, true for me, where at a certain point I said when I was doing standup, okay. I do much better financially doing the taxes and then also helping out the comedy store. As, as the CFO and sort of not getting to do my comedy, right?

And I’m curious for you, did it feel, did it feel like a compromise? Did it feel like letting go of something? Or did it feel like, you know, this is actually, this makes sense for me. I’m good with this. Yeah, a little bit of both. Um, I will say that, I mean, I don’t know if that old show is still up, uh, because I did stop paying for hosting I think last year, but I kept it all this time.

I kept that show since 2019 and I just keep, kept paying for hosting. I don’t know if I just thought I would pick it back up or, um, I’m not sure, but I let it go, but I didn’t really let it go. So that’s a little bit of a compromise there. But I also figured out what I mentioned earlier about enjoying putting together that puzzle for people.

And I didn’t, I couldn’t have articulated that in my corporate days. I just was. The sales tax auditor. I just, that’s what I did. And I look at invoices all day and people would say, Oh, that’s so boring. And I’m like, well, I enjoy it. But I mean, I couldn’t have told you what piece of that I enjoyed the most.

It was just me. Putting together that puzzle and I understand that now and that’s what I do now in the background. Um, in many ways of life, right? So even for the kids when there’s soccer schedules and basketball schedules and whatever. I’m like, alright, let me master this thing. So, I don’t think I could have known that back then but it was definitely I think a little bit of both.

Yeah, and it’s interesting because we’re here at FinCon, and there’s lots of content creators, um, and the people that are definitely going to make the money are teaching people how to edit a podcast, how to record a podcast, which camera to buy, selling the camera, right? And so all the, and it’s true in the entertainment world, the people consistently making the money, the managers, the people recording the videos of the auditions.

And the people that are, no, I want to create, I want to create, are sometimes at the mercy of other people controlling their dreams. And so it’s just, it’s just an interesting observation, not good or bad, just of, you know, the support system to those dreams often is the one that continues to make money because there’s always somebody with a dream.

And when this one moves on. Somebody else fills the spot. Right. And I will say, I think now I’ve thought about starting a different podcast with a very different perspective. But yeah, so it’s like I’m, I’m balancing that creator space with that support space. So. I definitely want to remain supportive of the creation, but then I want to be a little bit creative, too.

So, it’s, it’s a balance. It’s probably going to be mommy you should ask.

Somebody go get that dot com. It’s too close, it’s too close, it’s too close. Um, talk to us, I’m going to switch a little bit, and go a little more to the present, or maybe the past. Can you talk to us? About a time where you had to make a difficult financial decision in your business. Like, what was the situation and, and how did you think it through?

Hmm. Hmm. Okay, let me think on that one.

I think a… A tough financial decision as far as like on the growth side of things. Um, a lot of small businesses I think face are like the financial piece of it. So when to hire a bookkeeper, when to hire a CPA, when to do all of those things. And they all, Always, any big business expense feels daunting.

And then once you’ve done it, you’re like, Oh, well, clearly I would do this every year, of course. So, the initial switch from doing that stuff myself to saying like, OK, I need a bookkeeper now. OK, we need a CPA now. And, um, those steps felt like really big girl steps for me. Yeah. You know, it’s interesting. I, uh, I’ve never forgotten this comment of a family friend.

And, because people would always say to her, you own a business, you own a hotel, that’s so glamorous. And she would say, no, that just means I clean the toilets. Because as the business owner, as the entrepreneur, you’re the one left holding the bag, no matter what it is, good, bad, indifferent, you’re the one that gets to clean up any of the messes.

Yeah, absolutely. Um, and I think. A lot, in this space, a lot of what I depend on are contractors, and I’ve gotten all kinds of comments back of like, oh wow, like how do you find good contractors, I’ve had the worst luck with contractors, whatever. And I’ve actually found really great contractors, and they’ve been with me for three years.

And um, part of that I think is establishing that relationship up front when we do our first project together. Whether they do a good or bad job, they get paid on that first job. My husband thinks I’m crazy and he’s like, don’t pay that. That’s terrible work, you know, and I’m like, no, no, this is my thing.

This is how I want to run it. Um, so that sometimes is a tough decision to, to pay someone. But then to say, you know, this isn’t really a good fit. We never like to have those conversations. No. You know? Tell us about the ups and downs of being a mompreneur and balancing family and growing your business over the years.

Like, your honest thoughts. It’s tough. It’s really tough. That’s like the biggest honest thought. Um, something that has really helped me has been time blocking and marking my calendar off after 2 p. m. Nobody can book an appointment with me after 2 p. m. So I think a lot of business owners would be like, holy crap, like how do you do that?

Um, And I didn’t do that for a couple years, and I found myself feeling guilty because I knew the kids were already home from school, but yet I’m on a call and I can’t go out there and say hi and even greet them and ask how their day was because I’m back here working. So again, where are my priorities?

Why did I start this business? To be home with them. So what are we doing here? So then, you know, drawing those boundaries. And even still, I’ve tightened up the schedule even more and I don’t take appointments on Mondays or Fridays. I only talk to people Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, because for me, Energetically, it’s important to interact with people when I have good energy.

If I want to wear a hoodie and no makeup and I feel grumpy, we shouldn’t be on a call together. So, so I can do that on Mondays and Fridays and not feel guilty about it and then turn it on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. So time blocking has been really important. And then the other thing is just, Honestly, the kids are getting a little bit older.

They’re nine and eleven now, so they understand. Okay, like, let, and I’ll see my son, like, gently shut my office door sometimes because he realizes I’m on a call and he wants to shoot his basketball in the hallway or something. And that really helps for them to understand mommy’s working. This is our income.

It’s important and be respectful of that. So I think the age is very helpful there.

He’s walking away.

Are they backstage? Sorry? Are they backstage? Yeah, they, they, no, they’re just there on the side. But I don’t think they realize that we’re in here. Okay. Alright, cool. You’re good to go. So, taking it back to boundaries. Okay. Right?

So, can you were, So, you know, so taking it back to boundaries, you, we started off talking about boundaries with your mom. Yes. Right? Yes. Good point. And now talking about boundaries with the kids and setting those boundaries for yourself. I’m curious, in this period of time, from when you funded your mom’s divorce to now, how was the relationship with your mom afterwards?

And how has

Yeah, that’s good. That’s a loaded question. Um, so honestly, my mom and I have always had a strange relationship. Um, during my teenage years, I, well, I guess even going further back. I was always daddy’s girl. Um, I’m the oldest of three kids and for whatever reason he and I always connected well. So the divorce was tough for me because the reason I chose to support her through it was because I completely disagreed with his actions and so it was this big shift for me through adult eyes looking at who I thought he was.

And, and realizing that’s a different person. It was very, you know, the rose colored glasses. So, yeah. And perfection is one thing, but, but this was a whole nother thing. Um, so that shift for me, uh, with my mom was more of like, Um, as a woman, you need access to your own savings, your own money. This stuff happens every day, um, in all relationships.

So it’s not just woman, man, anything like that, but just each partner should have their own access to some funds, just in case, right? And you don’t want to go into any marriage thinking that, and they definitely didn’t. And she never thought that, um. So that was my, the reason I chose to support her, and, and sure, that locked a lot of boundaries.

Um, so, even, even through her divorce and supporting her through that, That was tough, because honestly, I love her, but she drives me nuts. So, just really, really honest. She drives me nuts. She’s a wonderful person. She’s very, very sweet. Um, but even, even after the divorce, I mean, we’ve not always had the best relationship.

wants to be around and she wants to be the supportive grandma, um, our schedules don’t always align. It’s kind of tough sometimes. Uh, as far as boundaries with time, I think I’ve done a great job with that and a big piece of that is the personal development side that kind of comes with entrepreneurship naturally.

I think with kids, As far as boundaries, we’ve done a good job of explaining to them that you want people in your life that make you feel good about yourself, that help you toward your goals, that support you, and that comes into play in the elementary years because a lot of times they’re learning about bullying and they’re learning about just why did this person say that or just little, silly little things that elementary kids do, but We’re able to help explain it from like a bigger perspective.

Like, is this person normally nice to you or was this just like a one time thing? Okay. You know, how often do they make you feel this way? And so we’re trying to instill those boundaries in them like in a more natural way instead of them having to learn those boundaries when they’re like 30 years old.

Right, . Absolutely. Yeah. Let me ask this. Where do you see yourself in five years? I have no idea.

We’re just right now. Um, so this is interesting because I was talking to someone else here about this here at FinCon, which I love coming here because then you get all these other entrepreneurs together and we’re able to talk about mindset and all these great topics. I can see Two years out pretty clearly.

I know that I’m working toward getting on more stages. I know I have a book in the back of my brain that I want to start writing. I know I’ve got my own podcast that I want to launch with that fresh perspective I was telling you about. So I can see certain pieces of it and I see how that attracts clients into my business.

And so I can see that, but I can’t see past that. So we’ll see, but the industry is always changing. There’s. Fresh AI and everything coming out. So I don’t know. Yeah. Well, we’re at the Eminem moment, our sweet spot, money and motivation. I’m wondering if you have a practical tip or a piece of wealth, wisdom

you can share with our listeners. So I think the biggest thing that shifted our financial picture was investing every time you get paid, whether that’s 1%. 10%? 20%? Whatever you can do, wherever you are, every paycheck, every time you receive money, if you sell some clothes out of your closet, you get 200 bucks, invest a piece of that.

That’s the biggest thing that shifted things for us, and I, I didn’t know to do that before. I thought investing was something you did when you were rich. So that changed everything. Consistency, even if it’s a buck. Yeah. Absolutely. And we started there. We started with 1%, you know, into my 401k. And I thought, well, what are we going to do without that 1%?

But it worked. It worked. Yeah. It worked. We survived without 1%. Exactly. And then later I was able to push that up. So, start somewhere. You can make it work. Well, I love that. And so, really, my takeaway is a couple of things. Is trusting. There’s a, there’s a lot of trust there that it’s, who knows how it’s going to happen and how, whatever.

But there’s a, there’s some trust in the universe that’s going to make that work. And the other thing I think that’s really important, even though it’s subtle, it was making a decision. Like when everything was not looking good, making that decision of I’m going to, I’m going to make it work. I’m going to look at everything.

I’m going to reach out to people. I’m going to put my pride aside. I’m going to put my ego aside and I’m going to do what needs to be done. And I think often, for many people, ego keeps us from actually making the choices that actually best serve us. And so, in those tough situations, like, I just so relate to that.

Um, of being in those spots and saying, this is what I have to do. It’s not pretty. I’m a little humiliated. Yeah. Um, and this is what we’re going to do. Yeah. So I appreciate that. And even recognizing that, okay, maybe I didn’t set some boundaries, um, learning to set those boundaries with whoever it is, whether it’s with family, whether it’s with friends, whether it’s with clients, whether it’s with children, um, I think the biggest thing that we can do in service to ourselves and others is setting boundaries.

Mm hmm. I agree. Yeah, and I wish I knew that advice like way long time ago. Yeah, absolutely. But that’s how it is, right? Like you make the mistakes and then you hear the advice. You’re like, I coulda used that , that piece, that piece. It’s good. Virginia, where can people find you online in social media and they can learn more about you.

Yeah. Upcoming eventual book, and new podcast. Thank you. I’m at podcast abundance.com and on Instagram at Podcast Abundance. Thank you so much for joining us and I look forward to hearing. Thank you. I appreciate you having me. This is great. Thank you.

Awesome. Awesome. Oh, you’re so sweet. It was like, Oh my God, someone needs to embrace her when you were.