S… I Wish I Knew in High School. Annie Delre

Bob Wheeler:
Annie, thanks so much for being on the show. I’m so looking forward to this conversation. I know we’ve got a lot to talk about.

Annie Delre:
I’m so excited. Thank you for this opportunity.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, absolutely. So let’s just jump in. You’re a health and wellness coach. Now, I don’t know if that comes with a whistle, but talk to us about what you do and what inspired you to get involved in coaching.

Annie Delre:
Sure. Well, I guess, excuse me. I learned about coaching while earning my bachelor’s in psychology. So studying the human mind. And then I learned that there was a difference between therapy and coaching. And I was like, holy crap. I didn’t realize that there… And I could share the differences because I feel like that really helps people, but

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
I fell in love. Okay, great. So therapy. Therapy is the present. You’re coping in the present. You’re spending a lot of time in the past. You’re unpacking, you’re healing, you are processing. In coaching, all we, excuse me, in coaching, we are talking about the present and all we care about is the future. That is all. So for example, if my customers, what? If my clients go into, let’s say, a two minute story about the past, I will gently stop them, say thank you for the background. What did you learn from this? Because we don’t have a time machine. I don’t put in the time machine part,

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
but the idea of we’re not going in the past.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And that’s go- and so, yeah, so you don’t- I mean, you know that they’re bringing their baggage, but we’re just- we’re not gonna unpack the

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
baggage.

Annie Delre:
Nope. And if you do still need that, if you still need that in your life, let’s talk about finding you a therapist because it is important to impact the past. It is important to heal before this forward movement or at least like

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
optimal forward movement.

Bob Wheeler:
And what, and so what was the impetus though? You S okay. You fell in love with it, but was it,

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
it’s just fun to coach the whistle or was it, uh,

Annie Delre:
Ooh, okay.

Bob Wheeler:
you know, what, what drew you in? Like the human mind and psychology, I get

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
all that because people are weird and interesting and fascinating.

Annie Delre:
And then to Ray,

Bob Wheeler:
All those things.

Annie Delre:
yeah, I would say, well, number one, I grew up in a dysfunctional family. So when you grow up in dysfunction, you see a lot of things. One of six kids, it was a wild ride. I wouldn’t change anything, but my sisters were born 12 years after me, they’re twins.

Bob Wheeler:
Wow.

Annie Delre:
And they became the loves of my life. Like I wrote the book for them that we were talking about earlier. They’re the loves of my life. And when they were born, I was like, how can it be a role model? Wow, I really, how can I be the best thing I could possibly be? There are now two little people in my life and they’re taking in everything like a sponge.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
As we were talking about NLP earlier, the idea of they’re downloading every single thing that I’m doing right now.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
And this is a precious time. And also I want them to realize you can have freedom. You can have financial freedom. You don’t need a man. to be your backup plan or your plan especially. So yeah, I guess they were my inspiration to peel from the past, but more importantly, focus on the future and be successful so I can show them that it’s possible.

Bob Wheeler:
Now that’s

Annie Delre:
Woo.

Bob Wheeler:
awesome and that’s awesome. You bring up a really good point that I talk about all the time. They’re downloading this information the minute they’re born. Right? We all are. So listeners, hint hint, you downloaded a whole bunch of stuff when you were two, three, four, five, and six and you took that information in as truth. You saw something.

Annie Delre:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
Mommy and daddy fighting about money and you said, money is evil, money means conflict. Or whatever you saw, there’s abundance, it’s

Annie Delre:
and

Bob Wheeler:
tight, there’s scarcity. We all downloaded stuff. Wear the nicer clothes, don’t, you know, I’m the poorer kid in school. Whatever those things are, we downloaded it, and unless we

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
update our software, we’re still walking around with programming from when we were little kids, unconsciously.

Annie Delre:
100%. And I’m sure you’ve heard this example before of also adults around you, especially parents saying they’re filthy rich. Well, as a kid, you know, filthy is bad. You get in

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
trouble for being filthy.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
No one wants to be around a filthy person. So

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
immediately, unconsciously, we’re taking in, yeah, money equals filth. That means bad. People won’t wanna be around me.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
Did we realize that happened? Not at, no, right?

Bob Wheeler:
No.

Annie Delre:
Cause then we can’t challenge it, but. Our brains took in filthy equals bad

Bob Wheeler:
bad.

Annie Delre:
or money equals bad. Money equals filth.

Bob Wheeler:
That’s right. And or rich people are evil. And so if we want to be rich, but we don’t because we don’t want to be them. And maybe we’re special enough to not be them, but maybe we’re not special enough. So right, we do all these things

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
early on and we set ourselves up with a map that’s going to take us over the cliff instead of up the mountain.

Annie Delre:
Yes. And have you studied Bob Proctor before?

Bob Wheeler:
haven’t that I’m aware of not that I’m aware of

Annie Delre:
He may be a little too woo-woo from people. I love him.

Bob Wheeler:
yeah

Annie Delre:
He’s like one of the first people I started studying with the unconscious mind. And I loved a lot of things he said about money. But one of the things was, yes, about accessing the unconscious mind and how as a kid we learned that’s bad, right? There’s all these things that set

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
us up for the most part to think it’s bad. And what he teaches is what we need to understand is when good people make a lot of money, they do a lot more good. And when bad people get money, all they turn is worse.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
But the good people do good. They

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
do good with their money. But all we see is, let’s say, like the scumbags of the world.

Bob Wheeler:
Right. No, that’s so true. And I think for me, the way I would rephrase that is, money is an amplifier. If you’re good,

Annie Delre:
UGH!

Bob Wheeler:
you’re just gonna be better. If you’re bad, you’re gonna be badder. It’s an

Annie Delre:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
amplifier. Money

Annie Delre:
Oh,

Bob Wheeler:
is neutral. It’s

Annie Delre:
it’s

Bob Wheeler:
we

Annie Delre:
good.

Bob Wheeler:
are the ones that take it and take it to the limits, negative or positive.

Annie Delre:
I’m just stealing that. Yeah,

Bob Wheeler:
Steal

Annie Delre:
take

Bob Wheeler:
it.

Annie Delre:
that one if that’s okay.

Bob Wheeler:
Absolutely.

Annie Delre:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
Take it, take it, take it. So, well, let me ask you this. So you are a Jersey girl now living in sunny Southern California in San Diego. When you left Jersey to

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
quote you, I was poor, poor. And

Annie Delre:
I…

Bob Wheeler:
you know, like driving cross country, flying cross country, walking cross country, however you got here, poor, poor. Tell me about that journey because it takes something to have the confidence to say, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m frickin

Annie Delre:
I’m doing

Bob Wheeler:
going

Annie Delre:
it.

Bob Wheeler:
to the other coast. Tell us a little bit about that.

Annie Delre:
Sure, sure. So I, like I said, I graduate with my bachelor’s. So I was like, all right, what are you going to do to be better? Because that was always my question, like, how can you be better? And I learned about the field of speech language pathology. It’s always needed, right? People use it for like stutters, lisps, trying to get clear when speaking two languages, all these things. And I… care a hell of a lot about money. Oh, excuse me, I hope I could say that. A

Bob Wheeler:
You…

Annie Delre:
heck of a lot.

Bob Wheeler:
money or hell of a…

Annie Delre:
Hell of a, hell of a, heck of a…

Bob Wheeler:
You can say whatever you want.

Annie Delre:
Okay, and I always wanted financial freedom. I even knew about that as a kid that this is very important. So I was like, all right, that’s a safe career. I’ll do that, I’ll do that. And I applied to a few schools and most of them were in Jersey. And then I saw a California school and I was like, whatever, I’ll just send it in. Like there was a lot of steps to get into a whole portfolio. And I was like,

Bob Wheeler:
Mm-hmm.

Annie Delre:
I’ll just do it, whatever. And I get in and it starts, I don’t even know. like three weeks for my acceptance letter because I decided like last minute to do it.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
I was like, you know what, screw it. I’m gonna go to California. I didn’t know a soul, you know, no one was supporting the decision. They’re like,

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
are you crazy?

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
Because it was so last minute, I only had a few thousand dollars saved. So nothing significant, maybe $10,000, which sounds a lot to people, but not when you’re moving across country.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
and putting a deposit down and then paying first and last month’s rent or whatever. So I start the program. I hate it. The first semester I’m like, this is so boring. I’ve never been more bored. So I quit school and I was like, screw it, I’ll just start working full-time. I’ll just start working full-time here and I’ll figure out the steps after. But I wasn’t making money fast enough, so I was just poor, poor. I was buying

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
like McDonald’s fries for one buck. There

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
was days when I couldn’t afford to go to work because I couldn’t pay for public transportation.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
Bye.

Bob Wheeler:
It’s tight. But here’s the cool thing. You were poor, and here you are. Like, you survived it.

Annie Delre:
Totally, I think I was close to $20,000 in debt and that wasn’t even student loans. That was because I screwed myself with credit cards when I moved to California.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
So I even paid off that debt. Like I did a lot of things when I was in the hole for a while. Oh, and if it’s not obvious, my parents didn’t give me a dime. Like I started working at 16. I was working like four jobs at a time all the time. So I was like… You’re not gonna go look for a prince to pay for everything. So what are you gonna do?

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, that’s

Annie Delre:
What are

Bob Wheeler:
and

Annie Delre:
you gonna do?

Bob Wheeler:
what was and so what was the childhood like? What was it like growing up? One of six. The twins came a little bit later. But what were your parents saying? What were they not saying? What were the what were the things that you were downloading as a kid and saying, oh, this is the truth?

Annie Delre:
Definitely phrases like filthy rich. Definitely phrases like that. Or like look at all those people with money and how much bad they’re doing for the world. My parents, like I never went out with, went without food or shelter.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
They were good providers. My parents always were. And actually they’re very hard workers. Very, very hard workers. So that was a great role model. Um, they also weren’t a ton of debt, always living as far as I know, paycheck to paycheck. It was later in life that they got ahold of that, that they sound out, they sat down with a financial advisor, they’re like, no more credit cards, or if so, it’s only to build credit or it’s only to pay off immediately after or whatever they were learning over the years that they discovered Dave Ramsey, they did his program.

Bob Wheeler:
Mm-hmm.

Annie Delre:
So but that was later in life. after

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
I’d already had all these years of programming. And they wouldn’t pay for college. So I was like, all right, you gotta figure it out. You wanna go to college.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. No, that’s, I mean, that’s the way

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
it is. And like, do you remember like when you left to California and everybody was against it, like, how do you, so for a lot of people, we think we have to bring everybody with us. Right? Everybody has to come along and that that’s not true. We have to leave a lot of people behind because everybody’s journey is their journey. How

Annie Delre:
Mmm.

Bob Wheeler:
was it for you? Everybody’s sitting there going, well, this is a really bad idea.

Annie Delre:
You’re freaking

Bob Wheeler:
We’re not going

Annie Delre:
crazy.

Bob Wheeler:
to help you financially either way, but this is a really bad idea. You’re abandoning the twins, right? Like and yet

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
like what was it inside of you that said I got to do this for me?

Annie Delre:
I believed in myself. I thought I was worth the investment. I wanted it more than I wanted to be comfortable.

Bob Wheeler:
Mm-hmm.

Annie Delre:
I knew my sisters were watching. I wanted it for them. And this is a little side note, but I think there’s so many women who are terrible role models and they are in your face way more than positive role models unless you go out of your way to find positive role models.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
So it’s very important for me to teach them. You do not need fillers in your lips or… to have the biggest butt, you don’t need to rely on men for money, you don’t need to be a cam girl in order to make money, like all of these things. So I just kept telling myself, you got to believe in yourself more than anyone else because they’re

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
not a quote that I teach is you were the only person that has ever gone to bed with you every single night and woke up with you every single morning. And it will be like that for the rest of your life.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
You

Bob Wheeler:
So.

Annie Delre:
have partners, you have parents, you have siblings in your room, whatever. It’s not forever.

Bob Wheeler:
Right. That’s right. At the end of the day, it’s just us. It’s just us. So you might as well learn to get along.

Annie Delre:
And that’s what happens when eight people live in the house. Like, yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. That’s crazy. So let me ask you this. So you, you came to San Diego, poor, poor. Um,

Annie Delre:
I’m sorry.

Bob Wheeler:
you had debt and all that stuff. I just like poor, poor. It’s just sounds fun. Um, it’s dramatic.

Annie Delre:
It’s just this. It is.

Bob Wheeler:
And, um, like it probably didn’t happen overnight. It probably happened in increments, but how did you pivot from poor, poor? Did you just say, I’m just going to focus. I’m going to work these four jobs. I’m not. Like, no, I’ve got blinders on. Like, what was it that helped you to pivot to say, okay, let’s get rid of the poor, poor and get to lots, lots.

Annie Delre:
Right. First, I had to make myself super uncomfortable. I had to call all my creditors. I wish I had my binder right here. I put out all of my debt, every single statement, all of my late statements, all of the original were taking you to collection statements.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
And I called every single one of them and addressed it head on. That was so hard for me. Because number

Bob Wheeler:
Yep.

Annie Delre:
one, I had to take responsibility. And number one, I had to hit reality.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
Um, and again, I know I keep bringing back to this, but I never expected to rely on the man. So I knew my credit score was important.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
So that was another thing I was always looking at was my credit score. That was plummeting. I was plummeting. I,

Bob Wheeler:
Right

Annie Delre:
I didn’t understand 22% interest.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, what’s that? It’s just a number.

Annie Delre:
I don’t know. I don’t know. Like,

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
um, and especially when you turn 18 or around then, all these people are allowing you to get credit cards. You can get Victoria’s Secret credit card, you can get a Walmart credit card, you can. So it was addressing it head on, which was super scary. It was accepting the fact that it’s okay to not have luxuries and it’s okay to give up luxuries for a short amount of time because

Bob Wheeler:
Mm hmm.

Annie Delre:
you believe in yourself that you will have all these luxuries later on.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
Um, and I guess living below my means, like I’d live in a house before other people, or I’d sacrifice a lot of things to do that. Um, I went to school for integrative wellness coaching. I got into more debt, making myself better. Cause again, I was investing in my future.

Bob Wheeler:
It happens. You know you the piece you mentioned about being You know not having a lot of money, I don’t want to say poor but when you know, there’s no safety net When you know, there’s no safety net

Annie Delre:
Thank you.

Bob Wheeler:
It it at least for me I knew I had no safety net my parents I was not getting a silver spoon I didn’t even get a spoon but um, I knew that I didn’t have a safety net and so I better create my own safety net because Nobody else was going to build it. And I think that’s a big

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
motivator for folks that are aware. When you don’t people that have a safety net don’t necessarily know they have a safety net. They’re just like, whoo. Those of us that don’t have a safety

Annie Delre:
Totally.

Bob Wheeler:
net, we’re super clear. There’s no safety net. The troops

Annie Delre:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
aren’t coming.

Annie Delre:
Yes, right. I just recently heard the phrase of If you grew up rich, you don’t worry about money, because it never had to be a worry. You don’t think twice about it.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
Just like you’re saying of the idea of like, if I go into $30,000 credit card debt, my parents will pay it off. Or like they’ll co-sign. I didn’t have a co-signer. That changes the game for someone.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
Have it, yeah, have it co-signers for any and everything.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, no, and it’s, you know, look, it’s a good reality check. I remember a couple of times I was in a financial

Annie Delre:
Mm.

Bob Wheeler:
situation, you know, and I was like, all right, I know it’s probably going to be a no, but I’m going to take a chance. Hey, let me call my dad. He’s like, yeah, good luck with that. Let me know how it goes.

Annie Delre:
Totally

Bob Wheeler:
Okay.

Annie Delre:
right. Nice to hear from you.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, great.

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
Good luck. So it’s so important. But let me ask you this, because you’re now, you’re coaching other people, and as a health and wellness coach, how do you prioritize your own self-care and your own wellbeing?

Annie Delre:
Time management, I schedule it. I schedule it as if it’s a non-negotiable. So for the same as if I told a supervisor I’d be at a meeting, I’m gonna be at that meeting. So I schedule self-care. And another thing is the idea of a mindset shift. So how I teach it is, everyone talks about work-life balance, right? Google it, like.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
And see how many results come up. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m not telling you like Google it But I mean it is

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
it’s it is well

Bob Wheeler:
It’s everywhere.

Annie Delre:
known among. Yeah. Thank you I did give the longest explanation. It’s everywhere. Oh But there’s a problem with that so now we are forever trying to reach 50-50 but Ask anyone and another way of do you want to spend 50% of your life working? They look at you like you’re crazy So why are we looking for balance? What we should be looking for is harmony. How can you make your work in life harmonious? And by allowing yourself that question, it takes a lot of pressure off, because you’re not searching for this balance that essentially doesn’t exist.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
I’ve worked with maybe 500 clients, maybe plus, and if we’re working on careers and I ask them that question, I can think of one or two clients that said, They would like things 50-50 if not working more. Everyone else said they don’t want a 50-50.

Bob Wheeler:
Hmm. And so what is the goal for most people? Besides harmony, that’s great. Is it lots more money? Is it living below my means? Is it… like… and I know it’s different for everybody, but like we’re all here on a journey.

Annie Delre:
Totally.

Bob Wheeler:
going somewhere even if we don’t know where we’re going.

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
But at least when you’ve got people coming into you, they have some idea that they wanna go somewhere other than where they are right now.

Annie Delre:
Yes, yes. And I, and what I would say is, my answer to your question is, the first step we do is building mindfulness. They are so stressed out about their money and they don’t even know where it’s going. They’re just hoping for the best. And what I tell people is, it’s kind of like avoiding the scale. You’re avoiding looking at your bank account, but either way, that’s the number.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
Whether you look or not, that’s the number. So, um, if you’re unable to build, I, I literally just had this conversation before signing on with a client of, uh, you have to find out what money you’re earning and where’s that going and wreck that bandaid, cause that’s usually when people realize like, Oh, I spent $50 on Starbucks. Oh, I keep buying. Um, donuts every weekend, these like fancy donuts, and I didn’t realize I’m spending $25 every Sunday for, oh, and these are people who are like also working on a health goal, right? And they’re

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
like, oh, I said I couldn’t afford having a trainer for a month, but I did spend that money on donuts.

Bob Wheeler:
Right. Yeah. Or cigarettes right now, I think are like

Annie Delre:
Oh

Bob Wheeler:
I was just in Australia and Australia cigarettes are like 60 or $70. incentivize me. I’d be done.

Annie Delre:
You’re…you’re literally paying to kill yourself. You’re paying to make yourself sick. That’s how I feel.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. My sister

Annie Delre:
I don’t

Bob Wheeler:
laughs.

Annie Delre:
understand.

Bob Wheeler:
My sister laughs. She spent so much money on alcohol in college. She said she could have bought a house cash free. Right.

Annie Delre:
I believe it.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
That’s the other one. You don’t have money, but how much do you spend at the bar?

Bob Wheeler:
Right. Yeah. Well, 22% credit card interest rate. That’s crazy.

Annie Delre:
And the other thing that saved me, I believe, was I, like, let’s say, partied my face off in high school. I drank and hung out with older people then. So by the time I was 21, I had already been in a bunch of bars. I’m like, this is kind of gross. So I’m so thankful I didn’t pay for alcohol or buy alcohol. Cause I wouldn’t have been able to afford anything in

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
San Francisco, like nothing.

Bob Wheeler:
Nothing. And it’s got a lot of sugar. It puts on weight. If you’re trying to be health conscious.

Annie Delre:
That’s another thing that I’m just like, I’m not saying don’t drink alcohol, but please don’t complain to me that you don’t have money when you go to the bar or you drink three bottles of wine at night.

Bob Wheeler:
Well, and you know, for me, like when you’re talking about that, right, that gets back into mindset, it gets into story. So we all have a story. Um, and then the question is what’s the story costing me? Um, and is it,

Annie Delre:
OOF

Bob Wheeler:
you know, is it a story based on truth or is it a fictional story completely? And am I going to take some responsibility and make some changes so that my story has a better outcome or has the outcome that I want?

Annie Delre:
Right. And I feel like, excuse me, along with mindfulness, the other core part is getting clear on what do you want your story to be?

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
What do you want? Is it to be debt free? Is it to have a house and a vacation house? Is it to hit the six figures? What is it to have a really cool car and you don’t care where you live? I don’t know. I can’t tell someone what their goals are or what their wishes are.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, we- but for me, if we don’t know our purpose, if we don’t know what we want, Like, we don’t know how to ha- we don’t have to know how to get there. We don’t necessarily have to know all the pieces, right? But if I know the end result, everything will

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
fall into place to get me there.

Annie Delre:
100% right.

Bob Wheeler:
But I gotta be able to see it or know

Annie Delre:
Right.

Bob Wheeler:
that it’s possible or know the outcome that I want for everything. The universe will line it up, right? I love

Annie Delre:
No,

Bob Wheeler:
that they

Annie Delre:
I did

Bob Wheeler:
say

Annie Delre:
that.

Bob Wheeler:
the universe conspires with us. And so if we, it doesn’t matter, okay, well, yeah, this is what I want, I’ll figure it out if I so strongly want that.

Annie Delre:
Totally. And you, I can’t remember the exact phrase you just used, but it was the idea of, and if I see that it is possible,

Bob Wheeler:
Mm-hmm.

Annie Delre:
you see people around you making six figures.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
Are they your best friends? Maybe not, but you know it’s

Bob Wheeler:
It’s

Annie Delre:
people

Bob Wheeler:
possible.

Annie Delre:
make six figures with their cleaning business.

Bob Wheeler:
That’s right.

Annie Delre:
Don’t tell me it’s not possible.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
Like I’m just doing a random example. I

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah,

Annie Delre:
think

Bob Wheeler:
no,

Annie Delre:
cleaning

Bob Wheeler:
no.

Annie Delre:
businesses make a ton of money, which is

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
cool. Our laundry mats, another one that I’m like,

Bob Wheeler:
There

Annie Delre:
they know

Bob Wheeler:
are

Annie Delre:
what they’re

Bob Wheeler:
always,

Annie Delre:
doing.

Bob Wheeler:
if you’re not boxed in with, it must look like this. I think one has to be open to, oh. I didn’t realize I could have it this way. Yeah, I’m still achieving my goal, but I thought it had to be blue, but it turns out it could be green. Um, right. It doesn’t have to be exactly,

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
um, sometimes we’re surprised, um, with the way it actually unveils itself.

Annie Delre:
Yeah, and I think that speaks a lot to what you were saying about setting the end goal and then breaking it down what point was I trying to make right now. I forget. It was a good one. No, I’m

Bob Wheeler:
It

Annie Delre:
just

Bob Wheeler:
was a

Annie Delre:
kidding.

Bob Wheeler:
good one.

Annie Delre:
I just

Bob Wheeler:
Hey,

Annie Delre:
forget. Just know it was good.

Bob Wheeler:
it happens all the time. Well, let me ask you this. So talking about mindset and

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
all these different things and the people you work with, how do you address common challenges that people face when trying to change their, you know, be healthier, but they’re like lacking motivation or will… Willpower. Like, what are some of the things that you do to help people move past, move on, change mindset?

Annie Delre:
Yeah, I would say the first thing I do is have them identify their values. Because a lot of time what we’re, why we’re, why things aren’t working out for us is we’re not living our values. And the problem is we’re not clear on our values. Some people aren’t even clear. So

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
most people with families value their family. But if you’re not spending time with them and you’re not planning free activities, let alone paid ones, then of course you’re not feeling the best or living your purpose because you are actively doing something that’s not adding to your values.

Bob Wheeler:
Yep.

Annie Delre:
Another example I give is loyalty. A lot of people value loyalty and stay with partners who cheat on them and work for bosses who take credit for them. These are just examples,

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
but. Of course you’re not going to be happy. Every day you’re unhappy because you’re actively going against your values, ethics, morals, whatever word because sometimes they’re interchangeable.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, I think we have to be willing to be uncomfortable and most of us find

Annie Delre:
Ugh.

Bob Wheeler:
comfort in the past or what we know even if it’s not healthy, not serving us, relationships, food, lack of exercise. It may not be helping us, but it’s familiar. It’s familiar. And so I’d rather be familiar with something not serving me than… getting uncomfortable, getting curious, and taking responsibility, because ew, then you always have to be responsible.

Annie Delre:
Right, I have to continuously grow as a person? Are you kidding me? Like,

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah,

Annie Delre:
what?

Bob Wheeler:
super annoying.

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
It’s super annoying. It is super annoying.

Annie Delre:
Right.

Bob Wheeler:
What do you want your, like what do you hope your legacy is with the work that you’re doing and the way you’re showing up in the world? What do you want your impact to be?

Annie Delre:
Mm. I guess empowering people to know that they can do it. And this isn’t to say that support systems are amazing. No one’s gotten somewhere all by themselves, but no one’s coming to save you. Nor should they. You should not be waiting for someone to save you. And I would love people to know that to just to be inspired and, and strive for independence so they do get that sense of accomplishment.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, I totally agree. I always say don’t wait for your ship to come in, go out and build your own ship.

Annie Delre:
Oh, that’s also stealing that. Got that.

Bob Wheeler:
Make it happen.

Annie Delre:
Okay.

Bob Wheeler:
You got to make it happen.

Annie Delre:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
Well, Annie, we are, it’s time for test your nerve. So we’re going to shift it up just a little bit. It is test your nerve brought to you by the MoneyNerve. If you are interested in learning more about your relationship with money, go to our free quiz. testyournerv.com and see your responses to money and emotions. All right, so we’re going to have some fun. All right.

Annie Delre:
Okay.

Bob Wheeler:
How did childhood, how did your childhood influence your views on money today?

Annie Delre:
taught me. It taught me you can do it even if others don’t believe in you.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. Can you name a financial fear that you are dealing with now?

Annie Delre:
Mmm savings.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, that’s always fun, always fun. Gotta schedule

Annie Delre:
Yeah,

Bob Wheeler:
it, gotta schedule it.

Annie Delre:
I get really good at it. I get really, really good at it. And then priority shift, if that makes

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Annie Delre:
sense.

Bob Wheeler:
Did you get an allowance as a kid?

Annie Delre:
No. And I sure as hell did all my brother’s chores too. Yeah. That’s hilarious.

Bob Wheeler:
Didn’t get paid either. Uh-oh. Not fair. What’s the least expensive thing that you own that means the most?

Annie Delre:
That’s a good one. Probably a book. Probably

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
a book that I paid like $1 for at a

Bob Wheeler:
Yep.

Annie Delre:
used bookstore.

Bob Wheeler:
Books are amazing. Books are amazing. Positive or negative, do you remember, can you remember your first money memory?

Annie Delre:
Maybe my first paycheck, probably my first paycheck in high school.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And do you remember if that was an exciting thing? Probably not like the check you saw when you got to California, but, uh.

Annie Delre:
Oh, nothing. I was so excited. I probably made $100 and I was like, you are amazing.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, it’s a yeah, I think minimum wage at one time was like $3.

Annie Delre:
Oh,

Bob Wheeler:
It was probably less than

Annie Delre:
mine

Bob Wheeler:
that at

Annie Delre:
was

Bob Wheeler:
one

Annie Delre:
$7.25.

Bob Wheeler:
point.

Annie Delre:
It’s crazy. Mine was $7.25 and my sister’s now I think are 15.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah,

Annie Delre:
15 an hour.

Bob Wheeler:
no, exactly. Do you remember what you did with that $100?

Annie Delre:
Oh, I’ll probably use gas, probably gas money.

Bob Wheeler:
gas

Annie Delre:
Maybe

Bob Wheeler:
money.

Annie Delre:
even alcohol if I’m being honest, like

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
I don’t know.

Bob Wheeler:
So it wasn’t a Roth IRA or a US savings bond. No.

Annie Delre:
Maybe candy,

Bob Wheeler:
Maybe

Annie Delre:
maybe

Bob Wheeler:
candy.

Annie Delre:
ice cream. Like

Bob Wheeler:
Exactly.

Annie Delre:
clothes.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
It probably was clothes actually. Now

Bob Wheeler:
And

Annie Delre:
that

Bob Wheeler:
you

Annie Delre:
I’m

Bob Wheeler:
probably

Annie Delre:
thinking

Bob Wheeler:
still

Annie Delre:
about

Bob Wheeler:
have

Annie Delre:
it.

Bob Wheeler:
them. You’ve, you’ve saved them. They’re, uh,

Annie Delre:
Probably, no,

Bob Wheeler:
yeah.

Annie Delre:
truly. Like if they still fit probably.

Bob Wheeler:
Probably. I love it. Well, so we are now at the M&M moment, our sweet spot, money and motivation. We just have all these different spots, so we just jump around.

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
Can you share a practical financial tip or a piece of wealth wisdom, something that’s personally worked for you that you could share with our listeners?

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm. Yeah, actually, I have this for money and it applies to all areas of life. Focus on what you can control and release the rest.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
So, for example, is me addressing my credit, even though I didn’t want to call the creditors.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And um. Well, I just blanked, so we just shared. So I guess we’ll cut that piece out where I just blanked. Oh, so how do you do that though? Can you give an example of letting the rest go? How do you do you just breathe and go it’s gone? Or do you mantra, mantra? Like, how do you

Annie Delre:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
let that go? Because some of us are like, yeah, but let me just hold on to it a little bit longer because I’ve been holding on to it for like 30 years.

Annie Delre:
Oh, totally. I love being miserable. Put it on

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
my shoulders.

Bob Wheeler:
Oh, it’s fun. It’s fun. Yeah.

Annie Delre:
I would say be solution-focused. So yes, your credit store is crap right now and you cannot do anything for the most part this exact second. You can’t

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Annie Delre:
call them and ask them to raise 20 points. But what you can do is call your creditors, ask if there’s a, do they call it a write-off or

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah,

Annie Delre:
if you

Bob Wheeler:
cancellation

Annie Delre:
can reduce

Bob Wheeler:
of debt.

Annie Delre:
it.

Bob Wheeler:
Yep.

Annie Delre:
You can look into secure credit cards, you can look for an advisor or a free advisor. And so this is empowering. Okay, I can’t control this. I’m freaking out. But what I can do at this exact second is look up free advisors. And I think that empowerment piece is what people start to relax on because building your credit score 50 points is super overwhelming. But doing a step such as Googling free financial advice. You could do it on your couch, like

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
on your phone.

Bob Wheeler:
The

Annie Delre:
Step

Bob Wheeler:
info.

Annie Delre:
one.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. The information is there. It’s there. No, I love that. I love that. Well, Annie, you know, I’ve enjoyed this conversation and my takeaway, the biggest takeaway is just trust yourself, right? We all could trust ourselves a little bit more, trust our intuition, believe in ourselves. But I think a couple of the pieces that help us get there, knowing where we are, like taking stock inventory and saying, okay, this is my debt. This is what I earn. This is my weak spot. This is my strength. Like actually being self accountable, being self responsible. Um, because if we don’t know where we are, we certainly can’t know where we’re going. Um, and I think the other piece is, yeah, where do I want to go? Because we need both pieces. I need to know where I’m starting and I need to know where I want to finish for me to actually

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
be able to put things in place for that to happen.

Annie Delre:
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And sometimes, this is the beauty, sometimes you realize it’s not that hard. It might

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Annie Delre:
take time. But it’s not that hard.

Bob Wheeler:
And the other thing I would just add is we can make a decision that this is going to be the best thing for us and get into it and realize it’s not. It’s OK to actually change your mind, pivot and keep moving towards what we say our goal is. We don’t have

Annie Delre:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
to stay the course if it’s actually not serving us.

Annie Delre:
Yes, and sometimes the pivot is because they originally weren’t clear on their why or their why changed.

Bob Wheeler:
Right. Yeah. You’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to change.

Annie Delre:
or lives in shades.

Bob Wheeler:
And change your mind.

Annie Delre:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
Anywhere can people find you online and social media? And I know you’ve got a book, so you’ve got to show us the book.

Annie Delre:
Okay.

Bob Wheeler:
This is shit I wished I knew in high school. Absolutely.

Annie Delre:
And as mentioned, I wrote it for my sisters. It’s a short book. It’s

Bob Wheeler:
but it’s fun and playful

Annie Delre:
attractive.

Bob Wheeler:
and you know, like,

Annie Delre:
Totally. A few curse words, I’ll

Bob Wheeler:
uh

Annie Delre:
be

Bob Wheeler:
oh,

Annie Delre:
honest.

Bob Wheeler:
that’s okay. I figured from

Annie Delre:
As

Bob Wheeler:
the

Annie Delre:
you

Bob Wheeler:
title,

Annie Delre:
may notice in the title.

Bob Wheeler:
there

Annie Delre:
Shouldn’t

Bob Wheeler:
might

Annie Delre:
be

Bob Wheeler:
be

Annie Delre:
that

Bob Wheeler:
a couple,

Annie Delre:
shocking.

Bob Wheeler:
absolutely.

Annie Delre:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
And what about your website? I’m assuming you can find that on Amazon and other places, but where can we find you?

Annie Delre:
Yeah, so my website is my name, but also I have it linked as coach-anni.com because it’s so much easier. So coach-anni.com

Bob Wheeler:
Perfect.

Annie Delre:
and I have a LinkedIn and I have a Facebook, but I believe going right to my website because there’s a lot of free resources and then reaching out there.

Bob Wheeler:
Awesome. We will put all that in the show notes. Annie, it’s been such a pleasure talking today. I so appreciate you taking the time and sharing a little bit of your wealth wisdom with us today.

Annie Delre:
Thanks for having me. This has been so fun.

Bob Wheeler:
Thank you. Awesome awesome