Episode 144

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Episode Description

Do you ever feel like there’s a creative person inside of you yearning to break free? Maybe it’s time to stop waiting for someone else or other circumstances and permit yourself to be the artist you really are.

Our next guest, Amanda Filippelli, is an internationally recognized editor, writer, book coach, and author of Blue Rooms. She started her career as an associate editor for the Oyez Review in Chicago and has studied under several industry titans. An award-winning writer herself and publishing industry expert, Amanda has done it all from freelance writing, copy editing, content editing, ghostwriting and book coaching. She is also the co-founder of One Idea Press and founder of the Authorpreneur Conference.

Bob and Amanda delve into the challenges and successes that many artists face following their passion.

[2:25] The starving artist cliche.
[7:49] Being an artist helps bring new perspectives to cultural conversations.
[9:10] Being terrified to pursue a career in writing.
[19:52] Letting go of the imposter syndrome. Everyone’s story has value.
[21:47] Becoming intentional and conscious when your family history was filled with shame around money.
[27:57] Discovering the root cause of impulsive spending and the spending will resolve itself.

Amanda specializes in helping writers realize their authentic voice and thrive as working writers. 

Connect With Amanda:

Blue Room Book: https://amandafilippelli.com/books
Website: https://amandafilippelli.com/
Authorpreneur Writers Conference:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EditorAmanda
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/editor_amanda

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-filippelli/

The Artist Within You. Amanda Filippelli

Episode Transcription

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Bob: [00:01:00] Welcome to another episode of Money You Should Ask, where everyone has something they can teach you. I’m your host, Bob Wheeler. And in this episode, we’re going to explore, question, examine, converse, dig deep, expose, laugh and cry about the money beliefs, money blocks, and life challenges of our next guest. Turn up the volume, listen, learn and laugh.

Our next guest is Amanda Filippelli. She’s an internationally recognized editor writer, book coach, and author of Blue Rooms. She started her career as an associated editor for the Oyez Review in Chicago. And has studied under a number of industry titans. An award winning writer, herself and publishing industry expert,

Amanda has done it all from freelance to copy editing, to content editing, to ghost writing, book coaching, and co-founding One Idea Press. Amanda’s work has been widely published and featured. She was the recipient of Pittsburgh magazine’s 40 under 40 award. And is the founder of the Authorpreneur Conference.

I said that, right. Authorpreneur everybody’s loving to bring in the preneur and I’m always like, ah. So anyway, Amanda, it’s so great to have you.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:01:06] Thank you. Oh, thank you so much for having me, Bob.

Bob Wheeler: [00:01:09] So, Amanda, did you always want to be a book coach? Did you always want to write books when you were five years old? Is this what you were thinking of?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:01:18] Yes, I, I I always wanted to be a writer. I always knew I was a writer. I penned my first novella at eight. I just couldn’t stay away from the page, so I knew it pretty early on.

Bob Wheeler: [00:01:32] And did you, did your parents encourage you to read. So a lot of people these days don’t read, right? It’s like if I can’t watch it on a video in two minutes, it’s too much information.

Like we had to read, we weren’t allowed to play outside. What was it like for you?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:01:44] Yeah, so it’s interesting, especially in the context of money, because when I, growing up as a creative and as a writer, everybody kind of told me that they encouraged me, but they also encouraged me to have a backup plan if you will.

You know, I, everybody told me that being a writer or working in the creative arts that I wasn’t gonna make any money, that I was going to be like the starving artists cliche. Right. And so they supported it, but they also wanted me to. Find a suitable career that would support me. And so that was really terrible advice.

And I have largely spent my career trying to disprove that myth. Really.

Bob Wheeler: [00:02:25] Yeah. And what would you say to people out there that right now are in that same boat? Right? They want to follow their passion. They want to follow their creativity, whether it’s being an artist, whether it’s being a writer, whether it’s being a performer and everybody’s telling em,

it’s not worth it. Cause you got to make money. What do you say to those people? Because I think we need more artists. I think we’re all artists deep down. Right. But we need creativity from my perspective.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:02:50] Well, I would say mainly two things and I’ll try to stay off my soap box about this. You know, the first thing I would say is it is possible.

We are out here. We are not like magical unicorns. We do exist. You can be a writer, you can be an artist, you can make a living and support your family and pay your mortgage. But the second thing I would say is how you mentioned everybody wants to add that preneur onto things. And I think the reality is that society hasn’t quite carved out appropriate space for the creative arts.

You know, you, one thing we were just talking, we just had our conference this weekend and we talked a lot about how writers, artists, creatives are the only people who Gabrielle Pereira, DIY MFA, just want to give her credit for this, always talks about how they’re the only people that are aspiring to be something like you’re not an aspiring engineer.

You’re not an aspiring lawyer. You just go to school and you become those things. But if you’re a writer, you’re an aspiring writer and we, and it’s, it’s diminishing it’s degrading. We don’t believe that we, we feel like we have to earn our keep somehow. And so there’s this myth out there that, that you can’t do it.

So, so a lot of us have become entrepreneurs or authorpreneurs and built platforms by utilizing our art and our creativity in different ways, which is to say doing speaking engagements, creating workshops, creating, creating a creative platform around our art and, and monetizing it. And so there is a way, it is possible, but we largely have been responsible for like paving that way ourselves.

Bob Wheeler: [00:04:22] Yeah. You know, it’s interesting, as you were saying that, I was just realizing, and I mean, I, I keep learning this as I go. Right. I, you know, I was taught, I am my accomplishments. I’ve got to make a certain amount of money. I’ve got to own a certain piece of property by a certain age. I’ve got to have a big, if I’m not valedictorian, I need to at least be all straight A’s and be in all these clubs.

Like that’s, or I have no worth. And so for a long time, I’m like, oh my God, I gotta get this right. I got to get all these things that I’m trying to hit all these marks so they can go on my resume and it creates this frantic-ness, at least for me because I don’t get to just be, and in this culture it’s all about,

how much money can we make? Even if we don’t make it, it’s about the possibility that we could all be millionaires. It’s the possibility that we could have six houses and two car, like instead of just, Hey, you should really be happy. You should actually really just enjoy life and time with your family. If you like them.

Whatever those things might be. And. That’s not the focus.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:05:26] No. And we’re setting these ridiculous milestones, you know, in my world. It’s like you either make it or you don’t, and it’s almost unheard of to have conversations around like a middle-class life on the, that you can create a middle class living on your art.

And so I think that we need to create more space for whatever makes people happy. You know, you don’t have to be the next Stephen King. You don’t have to be the next JK. Rowling, like, say you’re a successful writer or you’re a successful artist. So yeah, the goalpost is way too far away.

Bob Wheeler: [00:06:03] Yeah, because it’s, even if you’re doing your art, it’s not so, oh, I want to do my art so I can buy an RV.

I want to do my art so I can get that third car. Yeah. It’s, I’m doing my art because I want to express myself and I want to bring something to the world. That’s bigger than me, or that’s a piece of me, but that I want to have a shared experience.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:06:23] And I think this is how creative people burn out because they feel forced to get day jobs, doing something that they aren’t passionate about.

And maybe that they aren’t as good as they are at the thing that they do for their, their side hustle. That’s what everybody is now. Right? If you’re an artist, you have a side hustle and its like, it’s so diminishing. And when really we should foster people for the talents that they have and give them space to grow in those talents and to offer the community everything that they have to offer and to give them money, to pay them, to do these things like we need to value artists more.

Especially right now, you know, one of the things that I’ve found myself thinking a lot about, especially in 2020 is that we’re having, you know, we are so deep in so many cultural conversations, but those conversations really need artists to interpret them and to bring new perspectives. Like we, in times of crisis, we should be looking to artists to help us shift our perspective around a topic because without art, we’re just yelling at each other.

We’re just being didactic. We’re just fighting. But when we take a moment to step back and reconsider something from, you know, an artistic or creative perspective, it evolves the way we understand something. And so it’s really crucial right now that we carve out that space for artists that we support them, that we pay them, that we offer them opportunities because we need it right now.

Bob Wheeler: [00:07:49] Yeah, it’s so interesting. I think as, as you’re saying that, I’m thinking about the fact that when we’re in crisis, we’re out watching movies, we’re going to concerts, we’re listening to music, we’re looking at art, right. To get comfort. And yet. Uh, an artist may create a piece of work that’s worth millions of dollars, and we’ll pay millions of dollars for the piece of art.

We could care less about the artists, sort of, it’s more about the, what they created that had the value, not the artists themselves had the value.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:08:17] Sure. And also that we need to remember that there are tons of youth, tons of local artists right around them. You have tons of people who are trying to create that side hustle.

Who’s trying to share their art and their writing and their painting and their sculpture, right. You know, in your local neighborhood. And so seeking them out is really important. It’s it should be everybody’s kind of personal social responsibility to seek those people out and to support them, like not only kind of just with your presence and with your, and sharing their things, but also financially as well.

Bob Wheeler: [00:08:54] So when you were growing up, your, you got support, like that’s great. Do your thing, but also have a backup plan. Plan B .Did you grow up in a two parent household? Did you have siblings? How was money discussed in your family? Was it discussed. What was that like?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:09:10] So I grew up in a two-parent household, but our money situation was always pretty precarious.

And luckily, I, I didn’t really catch on to that until I was a little bit older because of certain… so when, when I was six years old, we moved into our house. I grew up in a town home in a, in a neighborhood that got kind of bad, but kind of dangerous to live in. And so my parents decided we need to get out of this area before our daughter keeps going to school.

So the house we moved into was actually owned by my dad’s boss. And at the time his daughter was living in that house, but she I, you know, I was young, so I’m not sure, but I have heard rumors about her struggling with drug addiction and that the house was kind of becoming dilapidated and she wasn’t taking care of it.

So the deal was that my, my dad’s boss would sell this house to him if he agreed to kind of remodel it and fix it up. So we moved into that house, which my parents still live. And so for me it felt like we were just moving into a nice house and a better neighborhood. And that was great. You know, I didn’t know that struggle then, but when I got older, so my dad has been working at the same company, my whole life.

And they, you know, it’s Tech job. They build like vacuum systems for computer programs or something. I am not so techie. But when I was a teenager, you know, my dad is very creative. He’s quite an artist himself, but it’s not something he’s ever done for money. I grew up watching my dad make models.

He’s also a brilliant painter. He’s just really, really talented and our house was full of his creations. And so I really got a lot of that from him. But one thing I did kind of internalize, I think, is this idea that he couldn’t use that to support our family. It was just something he came home and enjoy doing at night.

And when I was maybe 14 or 15 friends of his had were we’re starting a side business and they were going to make candy. And they asked my dad if he could help them create this candy maker that they had drawn up blueprints for, they were really excited about. And my dad was like, yes, I would love to help you do this.

And he had some extra materials from his job that he brought home and he built them this vacuum system to create this candy. Well, there was a flaw somewhere in the way that he built it. And unfortunately when they turned it on to use it, it broke. And the glass inside the candy maker exploded and destroyed

the, the wife, one of her eyes, it was terrible situation. It was obviously very tragic for all of us, but for them to be able to pay the medical bills and to recuperate their losses. They had to sue my dad and not like out of malice or spite, but because it was just, it was just necessary for them.

And as a result of that, my parents had to declare bankruptcy. And so,  I remember this shift in my teen years of watching my parents go through this really devastating thing. And my dad, obviously had, was, got into a ton of trouble at work and this job that he had been at it for decades. And I think what I took from that too, is that like my dad did for once try to use his creativity to help somebody’s business, or to make money to do something productive with it and what happened, it took everything away from him.

And so it was always really hard for me growing up to understand that. Seeing my dad as an artist, and I come from like generations of artists, my, my grandmother was the same way she was, she used to make decoupage eggs and taught me how to do the same, but obviously never made a living off of it. So I’ve just watched a lot of people in my family have like enormous amount of talent and never see a dime or watch it, or I’ve seen it take money away from them.

So I was terrified to like, be like, Hey, I’m a writer. Pay me. I didn’t think it was like really possible. And I did, I listened to everybody and before I ever pursued writing, I went to school for an entirely different degree.

Bob Wheeler: [00:13:20] Wow. Yeah. It’s, you know, as I hear that story, you know, it’s like, You know, there’s the the inspiration of like going for it and then the tragedy and the, and the pain of, of not getting the payout.

And then the reaffirmation of don’t go for your dreams. Don’t go for your passion because you will get shut down. And so, you know, really, it sounds like what you’re doing is sort of healing and breaking that bloodline. And changing the legacy of your family, which I think is really, really awesome.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:13:58] Well, thank you for saying that. I mean, I just really want to reclaim this idea that it never works. And that our worth is dependent on being able to contribute to society in some other like capitalist productive way, you know, for me, the most I can give to society at large, but also to individuals comes, is sourced from my creative talent and my creative passion.

I mean, there’s just no other job in the world for me that I can give more wholeheartedly to people. And so, I just can’t reconcile, like not doing that to go make a paycheck. Like I have to be able to make a living doing this. And I have, and I’ve kind of spent many, many years cracking that code. So that’s really, my mission is to teach other people to be able to do that too.

Bob Wheeler: [00:14:47] That’s awesome. And when you started off doing copy and all those things in the beginning, knowing that you’re facing lots of obstacles and societal structural beliefs. Did you start saving money? Did you have a budget? Did you have any financial sense of like, here’s what I’m going to do? So that I can make sure that it’s sustainable.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:15:12] No. No. See I took a leap that paid off and I’m grateful for that. And I hope now that when other people who come to me to work with me, who want to build a similar thing that I have, that I can keep them from having to go through what I went through. And I mean, bless my husband because I was  tired of kind of hitting the wall and not making kind of money that I wanted to make in a traditional career anyway.

And so I quit my job the week before we got married, without plan. And was like, surprise, I’m going to go start a business. And so I have been lucky to have him to support me to lean on, but to be honest with you, my business, my first business was successful right away because there was such a huge need for it.

So I knew that I wanted to not only work in the creative arts, but at the time I had come from the social work and psychology field. And so I spent nearly 10 years working in treatment facilities and in hospitals. And I try to combine my love of writing with that work to help create like healing workshops for the girls that I worked with.

So I worked with adolescent girls who were survivors of trauma for a very long time. And one of the things that I started to Institute were these writing workshops and those writing workshops really created a wonderful healing environment for those girls. And I wanted to grow this, this idea, but I came up against a lot of bureaucratic red tape.

I couldn’t get funding, whatever, whatever. SoI quit. And my first business was actually a counseling service that targeted at-risk youth like preventative services. And then also provided wraparound care for youth who were transitioning out of the system. And it was all storytelling based. I used to do family counseling sessions that were all teaching them, how to write their stories, how to create distance

from the trauma that they had experienced and view themselves as character so that they could create interpersonal empathy and the need was so great for that I  found myself traveling back and forth across the city for like 16 hours a day, seven days a week. I mean, I just busted my ass and I was worn out and that’s where the 40 under 40 award came from.

But that business ultimately collapsed because I couldn’t meet the structural need for it. And that, I realized that, and I needed to pivot and that parlayed into founding One Idea Press. I knew that I needed to create a larger platform that honored underrepresented voices in the community. And so I wanted to get into publishing.

I wanted to help keep help helping people write their stories. So I went back for another degree. I went and did a whole bunch more studying, got really qualified and has really led me to where I am now. So, there were a lot of points along the way where I was doing a lot of work, but like simultaneously broke and it was frustrating and it was a struggle.

You know, like any entrepreneur will tell you all of those failures where teaching moments that I learned so much from, and it has built strong business model that I have now. So yeah, I didn’t go into it with a plan. No, it wasn’t real smart about it.

Bob Wheeler: [00:18:32] Okay. It’s worked out. I’m curious what you would say to people out there that have thought about writing a book or thought about sharing their story, but they say to themselves, my story is not unique, or my story is not that special or nobody nobody cares.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:18:53] Yeah, I hear this every day. And it’s just, it’s a lie that we tell ourselves as a limiting belief so that we don’t have to face our own stories because the truth of the matter is you’re the only person in the world with your voice, with your story and with your perspective. And that genuinely is what makes you unique and it makes your story important.

You know, storytelling is the ultimate healing mechanism because it’s the way we connect to each other. It’s the reason you love movies. It’s the reason you love books. It’s the reason you actually like art is because you can see your own story inside of it. And so I’m not concerned with your story being unique.

I’m concerned with viewing your story through your own perspective, and then weighting that against my perspective of my experience of the world. And this is how we become, you know, this is how we access our humanity. So I do understand what people say that, but in my world, like imposter syndrome, that’s like the start of it.

And that’s a really big problem around me, not just with people who want to write their books, but with people who want to make money around their books who like will write their story and then believe it will never make money.

Bob Wheeler: [00:19:57] Yeah, the imposter syndrome is so big. It’s so huge. And how do you coach people? I don’t know that you can coach them out of it, but like how can you at least get people to reframe that and the people that you work with because so many people out there like they’re going to find out, they’re going to find out.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:20:15] You have to show them. Tell you a million times over how important and wonderful your story is, but for you to feel that you have to, I have to show it to you.

And one of the ways that I show that to people is I slowly push them towards getting smaller publications. And once they see that other people are interested in what they want to say to people you’ve never met, who are willing to pick up this piece of writing and publish it somewhere for other people to read it slowly chips away at that imposter syndrome, because you can’t believe something that there’s evidence against anyone.

So that’s definitely one piece of it, but I also incorporate. I will. The one blessing of people telling me that I wasn’t going to make money as a writer and then going to school for a psychology degree is that half of my job is being a therapist. So I spend a lot of time helping people using therapeutic techniques,

through they’re writing to discover the roots of their own imposter syndrome and then breaking those down and getting rid of them. I worked really hard to empower people, to be able to like move past those limiting beliefs.

Bob Wheeler: [00:21:21] Now I’m going to just, I’m in a jump ship for, I mean, I’m going to pivot I want to know, growing up. Did your parents talk to you directly about money? Did they tell you this, this and that? And then I want to know is, do you, did you, before you got married, have any kind of financial conversations with your husband or did you just go in a trusting.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:21:47] No and no. Growing up, I don’t remember any direct conversations about money.

The only conversations about money that I remember is like every year for school shopping, we would get an allotted amount. And it wasn’t an amount that was negotiable. It wasn’t a amount that you go over. And as I got older, I started to recognize like, oh, this is really important that my parents like, do not go over this number.

And so I do remember them trying to be like trying to curtail spending here and there. So my only perspective about money was like, it’s limited. And, and don’t talk to me about it because it’s embarrassing. And I felt like growing up, I did feel my parents kind of shame around money. And I think that that was a mistake, you know?

I mean, I’m just, I don’t blame them. I understand it. But I think that it’s, that’s why it’s so important that we talk to our kids about money and were honest with them about it. So that they don’t have this sort of warped idea about it because I didn’t really grow up, like when I became an adult and I moved out, I’m really young.

I moved out when I was 17 and I just didn’t have an appreciation of budgeting or saving, or money. Money’s for spending. Right. And that’s what I’m going to do with it. So I, you know, I really spent my twenties kind of flailing around and like selling paintings on the corner to like make rent and like just trying to do what I could and not thinking about the future just living week to week, month to month.

And then when I got married you know, the situation again is kind of spontaneous and strange and that my husband is in the military. And he, at the time when we were dating was in Afghanistan, deployed to Afghanistan for, he was gone for seven months. And while he was gone without telling him, cause we were living in different cities.

I lived in Chicago, he was still in Pittsburgh. And while he was gone without telling him I moved into his house in Pittsburgh. So when he came home, I was like, surprise. We live together and thank God that he wasn’t like get out, but…

Bob Wheeler: [00:23:50] that would have been awkward.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:23:52] So we didn’t, I didn’t give him an opportunity to like, have that kind of conversation with me.

I was just like, I live here, so learn about it, you know. And we had to kind of figure that out because I didn’t have anything when we moved in. I mean, I remember arguing with my previous landlord about giving me my security deposit back, just so I could have money in the beginning. I was not smart about money for a very long time.

And I think a lot of that was really rooted in my parents sort of like shame and embarrassment around their situation when I was growing up.

Bob Wheeler: [00:24:26] Hmm. And do you and your husband now have any kind of regular conversations around money?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:24:32] Yes, we’re very organized. Now we’ve learned the better way. You know, we are very conscious about our spending and about

our money is also very tied into our values as a couple. So we know that like traveling for example is very important to us. We have kind of built our lives around that. And we’re very honest about it. Like, there’s just never a time where like, he asks me about my bank account or I ask him and I’m like, oh, I don’t know where I’ll tell you later.

Like we just tell each other, there’s no shame around it. We both built successful careers, so we’re very proud of ourselves. But even when we weren’t successful, We’re honest about it. Because I don’t view how much money he makes or his ability to save, or his spending habits is like a measurement of his worth, you know?

And I think that that’s where we get caught up. I think a lot of people do that. I think a lot of, especially like women who are trying to be like independent working women, are scared that if they’re honest about not having as much as they portray that they have to their husbands or their partners that, that makes them look bad or that they have a, you know, devalues their sense of worth.

And that for me, that’s, I, I grew up with that. So I’m not interested in, in doing that and, and being honest with each other in that way has like helped us grow. Not only our savings, but also we can support each other and what we need to like continue to, to bring in more money when we needed or to spend it in a smart way.

Bob Wheeler: [00:26:03] That is so awesome. And I just want to reiterate two things you said that I think is so important for people to start to get. You said that your, your spending and your money habits are based on your values. And so that if travel is important to you, you’re going to put money aside for that if for whatever it is for people.

And this is something that I talk about a lot when I do workshops and all this kind of stuff is if you’re spending money, cause you just like, oh, that food looks great. Oh. And then I’m going to do that. And you’re impulsively spending money. And then you’re sitting there saying, well, I never get to travel.

I never got to buy that house. Well, if you don’t get clear on and what your values are, if you’re not clear on some of those life goals. And then adjust your spending and your financial habits to be in alignment with what your values are. You’re just going to keep struggling. If you can’t make that adjustment.

I think, I mean, you might get lucky, but it’s so important. So I love that you said that the other piece that feels so important is that you and your husband’s value is not based on how much you spend or save. It’s about other things. It’s about the quality of life. I would imagine it’s about whether they’ve got a big heart it’s whether you know that they’re there for you and, and that they’re your cheerleader.

And, and those are the things. And so many of us get caught up in, well, they’re only worth a million dollars. That’s I wanted somebody where 2.5 I’m really disappointed. So it just, I really , that resonates. And I just really hope that more people can really take that in because that is just like it’s so monumental, to, to really get that.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:27:57] Yeah. And I think that money is a good way to take the temperature of like our personal wellbeing too, because I, for one, when I am impulsively spending it’s because other things in my life are not going well. I, if I am stressed or okay, everybody right now can relate to pandemic spending, you know, like I have a whole new wardrobe for no going nowhere.

That once I kind of came back into my right mind was like, where am I going to wear any of this? And why did I buy these? This is the weirdest outfit I’ve ever looked at. Like, it’s just, you’re not in the right mind when you’re impulsively spending. And it’s because it’s in response to something else.

So being able to kind of identify spending as a trigger. For me has shifted my perspective around, instead of saying like you know, I don’t want to spend money, like just soothe myself. I want to recognize that I’m doing something self-destructive and then fix whatever that other thing is.

And so that’s important in our relationship too, because I feel like that’s why people fight about money a lot. I feel like, you know, husbands and wives see their spouses, like 10 million Amazon packages come in and it’s like immediately like an argument about how they’re wasting. Something that they’ve saved together, but I think the real conversation needs to shift into what’s going on.

Like, what are you feeling what’s wrong? What are you stressed out about? And like getting to the root of that, because if you do that, then that impulsive spending and spending will resolve itself. Yeah, absolutely.

Bob Wheeler: [00:29:32] Absolutely. I love I love your perspective on all this. We’re at the fast five. So I’m going to jump into a little bit of different questioning.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever purchased?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:29:42] A sugar glider.

Bob Wheeler: [00:29:45] Don’t even know what that is.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:29:47] it’s an Amazonian marsupial. That happened.

Bob Wheeler: [00:29:53] Does your family have a motto spoken or unspoken?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:29:57] No. I have a personal motto that failure is instructive.

Bob Wheeler: [00:30:00] I love that. What would you not hesitate to spend a thousand dollars on?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:30:05] My dog’s.

Bob Wheeler: [00:30:07] Fair? What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:30:10] Ooh, good one. Wow. I don’t  even know. I was not expecting that. Worst gift… I am so blank. I pass, I don’t know. I feel like nobody’s ever given me a gift and I was like, that’s terrible.

Bob Wheeler: [00:30:26] Well, so the worst gift, my grandparents thought we were about 10 years younger than we were. So like when, like my sister was 15, she got like a, a game, a board game for like six year olds. Like they were so.

Like we always got stuff that would have been great eight years ago.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:30:44] Okay. So no surprise here. I grew up a very weird kid and was not into like conventional pop culture and a family member one time did send me a Brittany Spears CD, and I thought I was going to like call them and scream. So I guess maybe…

Bob Wheeler: [00:31:02] No, Brittany Spears. How dare you. If you won the lottery, would you tell people or keep it a secret.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:31:08] Oohh. I would keep it a secret. I don’t need that lottery karma. I know what happens to people that flaunt that around.

Bob Wheeler: [00:31:14] Absolutely. So we’re at our sweet spot, the M and M moment money and motivation. What is a practical, financial tip or a piece of wealth wisdom that you could give the listeners that’s personally?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:31:26] Yes. So I tell everybody to think about that crazy number that you want to charge in your business. Whatever it is that feels like it’s the top of the ceiling. Write that number down and then add 25%. And that’s how much you should be charging.

Bob Wheeler: [00:31:43] Oh my God! That’s what I do with my therapy clients or my bookkeepers and whatever.

I’m always like, whatever you think it is, times twenty five percent. Yeah. .25, thats the markup. That’s it. So I think we discount ourselves at least 25%, probably more.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:32:04] It’s terrible.

Bob Wheeler: [00:32:05] I love that. I am so in alignment with that. Well, you know, it’s been what, this has been such a great conversation and what I really love about it is you are an artist living your fullest life.

And what I really appreciate is that even though you recognize that your parents might have had shame around money, that you have slowly handed that back. And said, that’s not for me to take on and that you’ve become really intentional and conscious about the way you spend doesn’t mean we don’t have a, we don’t backtrack a little bit here and there and have a little bit of impulsive COVID spending, but that you’re looking at things.

Are these in alignment with what I want my life to be? And you’re having conversations with your partner, which I, people have conversations with your husbands, your wives, your boyfriends, or girlfriends, your children, your cousins, your parents, whoever is in your vicinity. That you’re living with, have these conversations without shame.

There’s nothing wrong because if your bank account is zero right now, it is a momentary snapshot. It could be $2 million, five weeks later, like money, you know, ebbs and flows. And it’s not the indicator of our value and our self worth. And I just love that you’re out there working to serve. In many different ways, underrepresented voices letting people know, get over the imposter syndrome, your voice is important.

It’s unique, it’s your story. And it has value. And, and to really nurture that creativity in all of us. And so I, so, so, so really appreciate what you bring. I mean, I have to admit a little bit in, in, early on, I was getting a little, teary-eyed just sort of hearing some of the stuff because it’s, like I so strongly believe that we are all artists that we have just not tapped into our creative selves and that that’s what the world, really the mission should be is to let us all tap into the, the artists that we are, because that’s what I believe we are.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:34:17] Amen, Bob.

Bob Wheeler: [00:34:19] Yeah. So so yeah, so thank you so much. Where can people find you online and social media?

Amanda Filippelli: [00:34:26] Sure. You can get in contact with me or explore more of what I do at amandafilippelli.com. And you can find me across all social media platforms  @EditorAmanda.

Bob Wheeler: [00:34:38] Awesome. Well, we will put all that up as well, but we always just like to hear it live.

I want to say to our listeners, please, don’t forget to share the love, like, follow and share on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Search for Money You Should Ask, all one word.

Follow this podcast on your favorite podcast player, or visit Spotify and search for Money You Should Ask or click on the link in the description.

If you’re watching this episode on YouTube, don’t forget to like comment and subscribe.

 For more tips and tools, and to learn how to have a healthy relationship with money, visit themoneynerve.com. That’s nerve not nerd. Amanda. It has been so awesome having you. I so appreciate you taking the time and sharing your perspective.

Amanda Filippelli: [00:35:13] Thank you, Bob. This was great.


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