Merrit, it’s so great to have you on the show today.

Merit Kahn:
Well thanks Bob, I appreciate being here.

Bob Wheeler:
I’m sort of excited because we’re going to talk about like, you know, life and business and all that stuff, but you also have a passion called comedy, which occasionally I have that passion. And so I want to be able to talk about how we get to have, have it all. Um, because

Merit Kahn:
Woo woo!

Bob Wheeler:
we want to have it all. We want to have

Merit Kahn:
Yes!

Bob Wheeler:
it all. We want to have our passion, but, uh, but let’s jump. So, you know, you’re, um, your keynote speaker, you are the CEO of select sales development. And. Can you tell me some of the challenges you faced in your career as a business entrepreneur?

Merit Kahn:
Sure. Gosh, where do I even start with challenges? I started my own business in 1998, so I was seven.

Bob Wheeler:
Exactly, exactly.

Merit Kahn:
Yeah. And prior to that, I was working in radio advertising sales. I was on a hundred percent commission, salary plan, or it wasn’t really a salary. It was a commission based plan. And so every month was starting over from scratch. You just never knew what you were going to make. Some months were better than others. And it was always this roller coaster and many salespeople recognize that pattern. So I think running my own business was not a shock to me in that regard, because as a business owner, like nobody, there wasn’t a steady salary happening. It was you eat what you kill until you had to go out and make things happen and, and ride that wave of good months, bad months. And And so I think probably one of the biggest challenges I have faced as many of my clients did over the years is really stabilizing that and learning the importance of paying myself first and making sure that some of the things that I didn’t understand about finances and taxes and things like that, that I learned those things early on as a business owner because it made a huge difference. to being able to sustain a business all these years.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And let me ask you this. Did, did, was there ever a time where you noticed that gender played a role in other words, like maybe, oh, well, you’re a woman. So I need to talk to a man to get this figured out. Or did you ever experience any of that? Or pretty much it was a level playing field for you.

Merit Kahn:
I always feel like it’s a level playing field. I kind of look at everything through the lens of, at the end of the day, we’re all human beings and human beings have certain motivating character, like commonalities. And so I really just look at getting ahead, it’s up to me. It’s how much effort do I wanna put into growing my business? It doesn’t really matter if you’re a man or a woman, it’s in my… I’m sure that there’s other people that will disagree with me, but I think effort is rewarded when that comes to following a plan or, you know, working toward a goal. And if you are really committed to that goal or that plan, then you’re going to seek out the right experts, the right advisors, the right people. And so you do want to get a cross section of different ways of thinking. It doesn’t really, it never really felt to me like a gender issue as much as I want to make sure that I’m always getting advice from other winners in their respective fields.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, that’s awesome. You focus a lot on emotional intelligence. Can you define that for us?

Merit Kahn:
Well, emotional intelligence is really how well you understand your own emotions and the impact you have on other people. So I’ve been certified in this for more than a dozen years and I’ve looked at a lot of I’ve assessed hundreds and hundreds of people, primarily business leaders, entrepreneurs, sales professionals, because my real gift is looking at those results through the lens of how does this help you close more deals, lead more effective teams. grow your business, right? So I’m looking at different characteristics. So things like your level of optimism and your level of reality testing. So if those are out of balance, you might be one of those people that’s like, oh yeah, I’m going to make a million dollars this year. But you have absolutely no concept of what it takes to actually do the behaviors and take the actions that are going to get to that result. So that’s an example of high optimism, low reality test. then you see all the obstacles in your way without seeing the result, the light at the end of the tunnel, it’s really hard to get started if you don’t see that it’s possible to win in the end. So I look at that before I get started with somebody so that if I’m gonna coach them in how to ask better questions and close more deals and be a more effective leader, I need to know how they’re wired so I can adjust my approach. and we can put together a plan that they’re actually going to follow.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. So what I’m hearing is that I can’t chant for a million dollars to show up under my pillow and in four weeks I’m gonna get it? Ha!

Merit Kahn:
No, you remember when we all watched the secret, right? And it was like, I watched the secret and I’m like, I just, I’m envisioning the checks in my mailbox and I’m just going to go to the mailbox. That’s all I have to do is just

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Merit Kahn:
put that energy out into the world. No, if you want the checks to appear in your mailbox, if you want, if you want a piece of chocolate cake, rather than wait for it to show up at your doorstep, maybe drive to the restaurant where they serve chocolate cake or drive to the grocery store and buy the box and The ingredients and make it yourself. Like you have the tools to make it happen. You can get anything you want. And it is important to put the energy out there, but it’s also the action that you put behind that energy.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, I always tell people don’t wait for your ship to come in. Go out and build your own ship. Like,

Merit Kahn:
Yeah! Amen!

Bob Wheeler:
amen. Let’s see who’s got time. Like, I’m not waiting. I’m going to go out and make it happen. Make it happen. I love that.

Merit Kahn:
Exactly.

Bob Wheeler:
What is your approach to investing in growing your personal wealth as a entrepreneur, as a person that’s got all these creative endeavors? How do you stay focused or do you on the money piece? Maybe you don’t, I’m making an assumption here.

Merit Kahn:
Well, when I was married, we had multiple streams of income in the form of rental properties and some other real estate investments that we had made, but fundamentally, we both were business owners and so we invested in our business as the primary wealth building strategy. Upon my divorce, which I have since learned was probably the best financial decision I ever made. We could do a whole podcast on that

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah,

Merit Kahn:
one, Bob.

Bob Wheeler:
I’m sure, I’m sure.

Merit Kahn:
Yeah, it turns out after my dad paid for our wedding, he started saving for my divorce. So there’s

Bob Wheeler:
Ha ha!

Merit Kahn:
that. But I do think now still the best financial investment I can make is in the tools and the advisors that I use to grow my own business, right? Because I’m really banking on myself. Having said that, I do think it’s, I think I would benefit from additional streams of income that are separate from my business. And that lesson was very apparent in the pandemic when all of a sudden, basically I make my money from either keynote speaking, big stages, or consulting projects that usually come from clients who found me on the big stage,

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Merit Kahn:
or coaching and training opportunities, again, all coming from that speaking opportunity. So when the speaking got shut down, everything got shut down, not just my main income stream, but also my main marketing strategy. And so I had to kind of look around. And that’s when you saw a lot of professional speaker colleagues of mine, you know, trying to do online courses and hurry up and build this other thing. But it was still in that training and expertise, trading expertise. professional services realm. And I still think that to really diversify, I mean, certainly I have investment accounts and all the normal things that you would do through a bank,

Bob Wheeler:
Mm-hmm.

Merit Kahn:
but I think real estate investing is something that I haven’t really done as much of since my… ex who was really managing that is no longer in the picture and he did a shitty job. Oops, sorry. He did a terrible job managing that anyway. Um, so,

Bob Wheeler:
Just FYI.

Merit Kahn:
um, yeah, yeah, just FYI. That was terrible. Don’t, don’t invest with him. Um, but I still, I think would, would benefit from some other more creative areas.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And well, let me ask you this because I know we shared the fact that there’s creative endeavors. There’s the practicality. I got to pay the rent. Was there a point where you’re sitting at the precipice of I’m just going to go do comedy or I need to be an adult. I can’t follow my passion. Maybe I can write, but I’m talking about the story, the mindset that was going on in your head. And then you said I’m going in this direction. Can you? talk about that?

Merit Kahn:
Well, yeah, absolutely. And I think just being really transparent and a little vulnerable in hopes that that impacts your audience because nobody really has it all together, which is why you have a valuable podcast.

Bob Wheeler:
Hahaha

Merit Kahn:
And yep, imagine that. But I think in my heart of hearts, what would I love more than anything? I do love doing my keynotes because I do have an opportunity to impact a lot of people and open their minds to new possibilities. That’s really the core of my message is, you know, the first step to a closed deal is an open mind. So before you can really layer on all of the value that you have in terms of the offers you, you share in the marketplace and how you earn your money, you have to open someone’s mind to receive that value. And so that’s why I’m very popular with leadership audiences and sales audiences because they really need to, uh, to know some strategies about how to open someone’s mind to a new possibility. Now, in the spirit of we sometimes need to need to eat our own dog food. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I may not have all the answers, the how to’s just yet, but I need to stay open to the possibility that I’m also creating new opportunities for myself. And My one woman comedy show is the perfect example. And I think the number one thing that I’ve been still working on is that strengthening of my own belief in what’s possible, if I really went all in and took that show and that experience to the marketplace in a much bigger way than I’ve been able to do previously. And so I built this comedy club in my basement. It only seats 60, but it means I have a performance space and I could be regularly selling tickets as long as the HOA doesn’t find out what I’m

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah,

Merit Kahn:
up to, I guess. But,

Bob Wheeler:
we won’t say anything

Merit Kahn:
no, don’t say anything to my HOA. Beacon Point, don’t listen. So, you know, I just feel like it’s, there’s something that I still need to develop in terms of my own belief about. what would really be possible if I put all of my energy and effort into that endeavor as opposed to, you know, doing what I’ve always done for the past 20 some odd years, the way I know how to make money, the way I know how to serve my clients. But ultimately my comedy show is really about showing people that there are new possibilities that they could create in their own life. I do that, it’s interesting that People say from my comedy show, wow, I see my own life differently because I’ve experienced how you could laugh through yours. Right? And so we’ve all heard that you can’t change your past. Well, I don’t believe that. I literally rewrote my entire life story through the lens of a standup comedian. And so when I tell you the painful things, it’s through a way that you can laugh at it. And I can have… If I can show you that I can laugh at my past, then I’m giving you access to be able to laugh at yours. And really laughter lightens the load you hold. You know, you can hold on, you can deal with a lot more stress if you are a little lighter about it. And that’s why comedy is not something that, for me, it’s not something that is just like this extra thing we do at the end of a week to kind of take the edge off. It’s like a critical vitamin. Like… You need comedy in your life. You need to laugh. Period. Full stop.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, no, absolutely. But I’m laughing because I’m thinking of some of the newer folks to comedy. They’re like third time at the open mic and they’re trying to find the humor. And they’re like, I have cancer. I was beaten as a child and everybody’s like, oh, I think I need to go to the bathroom or

Merit Kahn:
Thanks for

Bob Wheeler:
exit

Merit Kahn:
watching!

Bob Wheeler:
the right. It gets so uncomfortable because they haven’t found the laughter thread. And it can

Merit Kahn:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
be very painful putting that on the audience.

Merit Kahn:
Oh, yeah, no. And believe me, I did that.

Bob Wheeler:
Ha ha!

Merit Kahn:
I’ve gone through that. It wasn’t in my comedy. It was as a keynoter. And

Bob Wheeler:
Uh.

Merit Kahn:
I thought I was doing very business-oriented keynotes. And then I had this personal life-changing experience. And I was like, I’m going to talk about this on stage. And I wasn’t ready. So it was more like therapy on stage because

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Merit Kahn:
I was working through it at that time. That’s

Bob Wheeler:
shirt.

Merit Kahn:
a terrible way. Don’t do that. That didn’t.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Merit Kahn:
Help anyone.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Merit Kahn:
But I do think that, you know, it is interesting as I take on the role of observer of my own life. And that’s really how a lot of comedians get material is it’s not about what’s funny right in front of us. It’s about how we saw it and why it’s funny to us, right? It’s the observing yourself as an observer. And I really do feel like once I, I, uh, maybe do whatever self inner work there still is left to do on my own belief systems. And I really go all in on that show. Um, I think the next obvious step because I’ve been a trainer coach consultant for so many years is to take the core messaging of that show and really deliver it to people as a workshop so that I can help people see their own lives through a lens of comedy. Not for the purpose of them actually doing their own show, but for the purpose of them changing their future because they’ve now controlled their past.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. Well, and I think as a comic, as a creative person, we do have this unique ability to participate and observe. You know, I’m not just at a concert. I’m also sitting outside watching the whole thing, right? I’m watching a movie as I’m in the movie. And I don’t think that’s how most people think, but I think it gives us a unique perspective.

Merit Kahn:
Absolutely.

Bob Wheeler:
I mean, sometimes I’d like to not be watching the movie. I just like to be in the

Merit Kahn:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
scene, but it’s a little difficult as a comic to sort of. Hmm. Right. Fine. Find

Merit Kahn:
Well, now

Bob Wheeler:
the

Merit Kahn:
it’s

Bob Wheeler:
perspective.

Merit Kahn:
a game. It’s like, how fast can I turn this tragedy into comedy? Like, literally when I was on my way to do a presentation about how to grow business at a personal injury law firm. And the night before that program, I thought, gosh, what’s my opening humor gonna be? Wouldn’t it be funny if I got into an accident on my way? And I kid you not, Bob, I was literally rear-ended. getting off the exit ramp to go to the personal injury law firm. And so there I was, I had my opening line. Thankfully I wasn’t hurt, but, um, I thought, yeah, wow, that, you know, there’s a lot I would do for comedy. I wasn’t thinking,

Bob Wheeler:
That’s,

Merit Kahn:
you know,

Bob Wheeler:
yeah.

Merit Kahn:
but comedy is everywhere and it’s how fast can you get from tragedy to, to

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah,

Merit Kahn:
find the funny.

Bob Wheeler:
find the funny. Well, you know, for me, when I go speak to financial advisors and things like that, and I talk about money and emotions, and often people very left brain will say, money and emotions, there’s no relationship, this is crazy, right? And then I talk and they’ll say, oh my, oh wow, I never considered that, I never considered that, right? And… I think in business, finance and what I do is business as well, but a lot of people think business and emotions don’t mix. They’re completely separate. As an emotional intelligence coach, can you share some tips for how to integrate emotions into the workplace in a healthy way or why it’s important to have that awareness? Even with money and emotions, people are like, what are you talking about? It’s driving you every day.

Merit Kahn:
Yeah, I think the reason people have a misconception about that, because I believe, as you do, that money and emotions, emotions in business, they’re all interwoven. Because human beings have emotions, and you can’t separate the human beingness from money or business. And so if we think about emotions just from the perspective of happy, sad, angry, calm, it’s not about that. What we are looking for in an emotional intelligence assessment, as an example, we’re measuring your level of self-regard. Now you might not consider that an emotion, quote unquote, but your level of self-regard contributes to every emotional reaction you’re going to have. Your level of optimism, your level of decision-making, your level of stress tolerance, all of those things are… part of what gives you an emotional response. To the extent that you understand those things that make up your emotions, you have an ability to control them, to have them work for you as a tool. To the extent that you don’t understand your level of self-regard and how that filters in to your decision about whether or not to buy the more expensive thing on the menu or go into an investment or hire an expensive advisor, that is hurting you because you don’t have all the information about how you are wired. So it is controlling you. And I see this everywhere. There was a time when I didn’t understand, it was when I was, I can remember distinctly, because I was just starting my business and I was confident in my previous role, but as a business owner, I didn’t have that confidence yet. I was like, go, you got it girl, like you

Bob Wheeler:
Thanks

Merit Kahn:
got

Bob Wheeler:
for watching!

Merit Kahn:
this, you’re gonna be able to do this, because I have high optimism, but I didn’t have anything to back it up, right? So

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Merit Kahn:
I didn’t have the chops yet, I didn’t know what I was doing. So there were opportunities to make decisions about investing in, you know, an adva a peer advisory group and I Didn’t move forward with that because I I didn’t feel I was worth it I didn’t feel that I could Invest at that high level as I was starting out because I didn’t know if it was all gonna work out Fast forward a couple years. I ended up joining this group and it was a considerable Financial investment to be part of it, but it was like within two months that being around those people saved me from making a huge mistake, which I then later learned would have cost me tens of thousands of dollars. So I share that example because it was my own misunderstanding of my own emotions or the fact that I didn’t that made a choice for me. and had me not take advantage of an opportunity at a time when I probably would have needed it. Anyway, that’s one example. I could probably think of multiple, but I do think it’s important to understand how your emotions are triggering, helping or hurting business decisions. And the more you know about how you’re wired, the more information you have to make better decisions.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, because even if you had done it earlier, and you had a limiting belief that it’s really not gonna work, it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway.

Merit Kahn:
You

Bob Wheeler:
Like,

Merit Kahn:
know

Bob Wheeler:
right?

Merit Kahn:
what, you’re

Bob Wheeler:
Because,

Merit Kahn:
exactly right.

Bob Wheeler:
because

Merit Kahn:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
we love to be right. I do. I love to be right. So, oh, I’m gonna fail at this. Look! Look how much I’m failing, see? I was right. We…

Merit Kahn:
Well, who wrote the book Influence? Robert Caldini, right? He wrote in his book Influence that he talks about the six weapons of influence or principles of influence. And I think this is one of the best sales books ever written. He didn’t write it for that purpose, but I think when we understand the powers of influence over us as consumers, we have a lot more opportunity to understand what’s happening on the other side so that we can adjust our approach. And not in a manipulative way, but I think just in a really smart business way. So he talks about the principle of commitment and consistency, and you’re exactly right. If we declare something, I am this, we put a label on something, then everything you do is gonna line up consistent with that declaration, because you’ve made a commitment to that label. And I think that’s incredibly dangerous for so many, you know, pick a category for so many reasons that’s dangerous. But that’s why my whole message is really about the opportunities that are for us when we are open to new possibilities, when we have an open mind. Most of us wanna be identified as somebody who’s open-minded, but a lot of us, you know, really aren’t when the rubber meets the road. And I think that’s another reasons why understanding your emotions can help you be open to other options and ideas.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, absolutely. And it’s as you’re talking, I’m thinking about, you know, so one of my measures of things, um, whether it’s work, whether it’s a relationship, am I having fun? Because if I’m not having a good time and it doesn’t mean every day of my life is like fun filled amazing. Um, and there are certain things I don’t like about doing taxes, but overall, I really enjoy it and people like you’re weird, which I am, but, um, right. But

Merit Kahn:
I’m

Bob Wheeler:
if

Merit Kahn:
thrilled

Bob Wheeler:
I’m.

Merit Kahn:
you enjoy it, because I don’t

Bob Wheeler:
Somebody

Merit Kahn:
enjoy it.

Bob Wheeler:
has to. Somebody has to.

Merit Kahn:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
But if I’m not having fun, if I’m in a relationship, I’m not having fun. If I’m going to work, I mean, I meet so many people that hate what they do. And I’ve been fortunate enough to, yeah, there have been a couple things I didn’t like, but they were short term or I knew they were a means to an end. Or I left. Because I went, this is not fulfilling. But I see people doing what they hate. Wow, I can’t at this point in my life, I can’t imagine getting up every day doing something that I hate. I drove to a job where I was crying on a daily basis and I thought this is not bringing me pleasure. I don’t have an answer, but I’m quitting because the pain, I don’t know what’s out there, but this is not the answer. And so understanding that emotion, or at least for me, it was like, this is not, this isn’t good for me.

Merit Kahn:
Yeah. And I think money, you know, money, I believe money is, is energy, right? And it follows,

Bob Wheeler:
Mm-hmm.

Merit Kahn:
right? It,

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Merit Kahn:
it follows. So if your energy, and I’m not, I don’t mean this in a woo woo sense, because I, you

Bob Wheeler:
Right, right,

Merit Kahn:
know,

Bob Wheeler:
right.

Merit Kahn:
we talked about, you have to take the action, but I do feel like if, if you were richly rewarded with money, that’s either gonna You either have, it’s either a tether, like it keeps you doing something you’re not happy with, but I do fundamentally feel if you’re not happy, you’re not making a lot of money, you know, it’s just not following. It’s just, there’s no attraction working for you there. And that’s, if I, if I think back over the course of my career, and I don’t think I’ve ever really articulated it like this, but I know there’s been certain times where in my consulting work or even in my keynotes I’ve been focused on certain topics and then at some point I either get bored of it or I have an experience where it wasn’t really resonating and so it’s like, I don’t really want to do that one anymore. And all of a sudden what I find is I’m not getting booked for that topic anymore. Nobody’s out there requesting that anymore. And so it’s fascinating because there’s no money that’s coming in from something because I no longer have any joy speaking about that. And it’s probably on the flip side why. My newer keynote that I’ve been really, that’s been highly requested lately over the last probably six months is because I’m in love with this program. Everything about it is so good and audiences love it. And that’s why I keep getting booked for it because there’s, some money is gonna follow my energy.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, energy fills the passion. They fill the passion.

Merit Kahn:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
Do you think that the way you were raised around money has shaped the way you think about business?

Merit Kahn:
100%, 100%. So I came from a long line of sales professionals. There was never really a question of what was I gonna do with my life. It was more a question of like, what was I gonna sell? But my mom was, still is in real estate. She was a broker at the time when I was young girl. And I know going all those open houses on Saturdays, I was like, well, I’m definitely not doing this. But somewhere along the line, I got the messaging, like you always wanna have your own money. You always, maybe this is where gender comes in, but as a woman, and I would say this to any couple in a relationship, regardless of the genders that are coming together,

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Merit Kahn:
but everybody should have a path to be able to be independent. That way you’re not in a relationship because you have to be, you’re in a relationship because you choose to be. And… Uh, there, so I do feel like I grew up with a lot of independent thinking. And I think that really served me well in business may not have served me as well, if I’m honest in relationships. Um, but I do think that I, I got strong money scripting from parents that wanted their daughter to always have her own money, be responsible, never, never spend beyond your means. and pay yourself first. And I think those money scripting things really helped me in business.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, no, I think that’s so true. And it’s interesting as you’re talking about couples and having your own money. There was a recent statistic that said couples that share their money together, stay together longer. However, there’s sub subtext, right? That I wasn’t aware of initially because I work with people around financial infidelity and victimization. And the actual, the other piece is that a lot of people stay together. because they don’t have another option, speaking to the point that you’re saying. And so some people look at that and go, look at that. Couples that share their money stay together. Yeah, couples that share their money might have somebody that’s controlling them and not giving them any options. And so it’s, right, we gotta do a little digging. It’s just sometimes we’re seeing the tip of the iceberg and not the whole, not the whole burg. So yeah, so I just, it is good to have your own money, I think. What is one of the biggest lessons you’ve learned about money management in your business?

Merit Kahn:
I think just by the nature of the fact that I’ve always been in a business development role and most of the work that I do with my clients is to help them grow their business. That’s always been the focus of is grow, grow, grow, make more, sell more, another dollar, another phone call. I think what I needed most to learn was to pay attention to whatever thing that’s happening on the other side of the ledger. you know, which is all of the expenses. And so I think that what I’ve come to discover in my life and through my work is that really the idea of equilibrium enhances excellence. So it’s every, everything that I look at from as in a business decision is gonna be through that lens of, you know, am I looking at the equal and opposing side? So while we’re working on how to grow, are you also considering where are the leaks that money is being wasted and you don’t need to spend that much in that area or you’ve got a subscription that you no longer pay attention to? Like plugging the leaks I think was a good lesson that I learned from a book and then I started applying it everywhere.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, it’s so important to actually be intentional and conscious around your money. I know there are times when I’m like, look, I did a bit of the work, so just let it do its thing and I don’t want to look at it anymore. I’m sort of freaking tired. And if I want things to go the way I want things to go, I’m going to have to keep showing up. And it doesn’t mean I can’t take breaks here and there. But. I’ve got to participate in my own success. I can’t sit by and just go, I can’t wait for it to come to me because then in a way I’m putting myself in a victim mindset, even though it may feel pleasant, it’s still a mindset of coming at me and I don’t have control.

Merit Kahn:
Yeah, that does not feel pleasant at all, Bob.

Bob Wheeler:
It doesn’t feel good. It

Merit Kahn:
No.

Bob Wheeler:
doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel good. It’s a crazy world. Well, Merit, we are at the Fast Five, and so we’re going to shift it up a little bit. The Fast Five brought to you by The Money Nerve. If you’d like to test your money nerve, go to testyournerve.com for a free quiz on your relationship with money. So go find out how you’re doing. I know I had work to do. I always have work to do. And I think, you know, one of the things that when you were talking… about, I’m not sure about this and that. Folks, none of us have all the answers. We’re still figuring it out. I’m still course correcting. I’m still pivoting. I’m still discovering, oh my God, that’s an unconscious money belief I had. Like, it doesn’t end, but at least I know I’m looking at it and that I can actually address it and move on. So I just, you talked about that a little bit and we didn’t really give it a little bit of, I wanna just give it a little bit more light, right? That, you know. You haven’t gotten it all figured out. You’ve got a lot figured out. You’ve got a lot of experience, right? And

Merit Kahn:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
we’re all still learning. We’re all still students. We’re all still students.

Merit Kahn:
Exactly. I love that.

Bob Wheeler:
All right, so here we go. We’re going to have a little bit of fun here. What’s the most money you’ve ever found on the ground and what did you do with it?

Merit Kahn:
I don’t know, but I’m going to go start looking for some money on the ground. Uh, I’m thinking somewhere along the line, I probably found a 20 and, um, I’m sure I wasn’t very generous with it. I probably kept it. I’m not sure what that says about me.

Bob Wheeler:
Look, if it was a couple thousand, you might look for the owner, but, you know, 20 bucks. That’s what they get for

Merit Kahn:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
not paying attention. That’s mine. That’s mine.

Merit Kahn:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
I earned

Merit Kahn:
Yeah, probably.

Bob Wheeler:
it. And I do, I look on the ground and I’m like, oh, there’s a five. There’s a, it’s amazing what money you’ll see on the street. Um, what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done that didn’t involve money?

Merit Kahn:
Well, I did a backpacking trip around the world for a year on my own. I,

Bob Wheeler:
Wow.

Merit Kahn:
I did, I did spend some money on that. So let’s see, that might not be an exactly

Bob Wheeler:
Well, that’s

Merit Kahn:
good.

Bob Wheeler:
a great

Merit Kahn:
I think.

Bob Wheeler:
example because you probably don’t spend a lot of money. If you’re doing

Merit Kahn:
No,

Bob Wheeler:
it on a.

Merit Kahn:
I learned to live, I mean, this was probably 30 years ago, but I learned to live like a King on about $10 a day. Um,

Bob Wheeler:
Awesome.

Merit Kahn:
and you could do that in Southeast Asia at that time. So

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah,

Merit Kahn:
yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
that’s cool. That’s cool. If you could switch lives with anybody for a day, who would you choose and why?

Merit Kahn:
Wow! Um, let’s see, I would choose… Huh. Um, do they have to be alive or dead?

Bob Wheeler:
Either.

Merit Kahn:
Well, I think because we have the big coronation of the king coming up at the time of this recording that’s happening tomorrow. And so Princess Diana is on my mind. And I just

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Merit Kahn:
feel like that would be pretty cool to be a legit princess for a day.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah!

Merit Kahn:
Like, I mean, she was so philanthropic and I just I love that energy about her. But she, you know, she could also like wear cool stuff and get in a carriage. Like that’s…

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Merit Kahn:
That’s pretty, that’s pretty, that’s pretty

Bob Wheeler:
Pretty

Merit Kahn:
good.

Bob Wheeler:
cool. That’s pretty

Merit Kahn:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
cool. That’d be fun.

Merit Kahn:
I mean, I think that would be good. The other thing, the other way I was thinking would be like one of my comedian idols, like it would be really sweet to perform at some gigantic hall and, and just feel the energy of an audience, like way bigger than I’ve ever experienced. So that’s probably on my list too.

Bob Wheeler:
That’d be cool, although I don’t know that I’d want to be in some of their minds for a full day.

Merit Kahn:
That’s true. That can be dangerous. That’s some,

Bob Wheeler:
comics are some pretty crazy people.

Merit Kahn:
they are. Yes,

Bob Wheeler:
Speaking

Merit Kahn:
we

Bob Wheeler:
from experience.

Merit Kahn:
are.

Bob Wheeler:
Since being in the business world, is there anything you wish you had known earlier about the biz?

Merit Kahn:
Yeah, I do think I would have learned, like to learn earlier that how important it is to collaborate. I think when I started my business, like many entrepreneurs that I’ve worked with and met over the 20 plus years, there’s a lot of mindset around, you know, if you got to do, if you’re going to do something, you know, you got to do it yourself or you want done right, do it yourself. And it took me a long time to learn how much. faster and how much better things would be when I loosened the reins a little bit and hired the right experts on the team and, you know, really understood how to bring out the genius in other people. And now that I have the right team in place for the various aspects of what I do, it’s made all the difference. So collaboration.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, absolutely. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to get out of a boring obligation, like a meeting or a family gathering? Have you, like, what have you done to avoid it? Or maybe you love going to meetings.

Merit Kahn:
No, no, I hate it. Uh, that’s a good one. Gosh, you, you ask good questions, Bob. Um, I, um, I, I, I think if you would ask me that question maybe five years ago, I probably would have had a very creative, you know, I would have just made up some excuse or something, but there’s something weird that happens to a woman in her fifties. It’s that, you know, I no longer give a beep. You know, it’s just

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Merit Kahn:
like, I just say what, what needs to be said now. And, and I’ll just be like, Hey, um, that meeting that does not seem like a good use of anyone’s time. So I’m not going.

Bob Wheeler:
There you go. I love it. Be

Merit Kahn:
I feel

Bob Wheeler:
direct.

Merit Kahn:
like I’m much more direct.

Bob Wheeler:
Be direct. Nothing like being direct. I love direct.

Merit Kahn:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
That’s too funny. Well, we’re at our M&M moment, our sweet spot, money and motivation. Do you have a practical financial tip or a piece of wealth wisdom that’s worked for you? Something that you’ve personally like, this is what I do.

Merit Kahn:
Yes, I have a very strong belief that when you really need an expert, an advisor, I have found that it always pays for me to find the right and best person, regardless of what the fee is, rather than try to shop my professional services providers for the best price. I just feel like If I am hiring an attorney, I don’t want my attorney to be worried about how he or she is paying their bills. I want my attorney to be well paid so they’re focused on my case. And the way that I justify that is, you know, I know I am not the cheapest speaker or consultant in town and I want people to recognize my value. I want them to be, you know. to the extent that they could be excited about paying a premium,

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Merit Kahn:
but they’re more invested that way. And so if my belief is that other people are gonna pay a premium for the opportunity to work with me, then I better be doing that also in the marketplace. Again, it’s that energy, but I can’t shop for the lowest price and expect people to pay a premium for me. It doesn’t work that way. And I feel like there’s a very strong connection between how you buy and how you sell. And… That lesson has served me very well over the course of my career.

Bob Wheeler:
I love that because I was sort of in that mindset in the beginning, like I’m taking money from my clients for services, but then I didn’t want to give it back to them for their service, right? I wasn’t valuing. That was my scarcity, frugal mindset. And I had

Merit Kahn:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
to shift and really realize. If people are willing to invest in me, am I willing to invest back in other people? And why wouldn’t I want to invest in people that I love working with who trust me and are going to probably have my back hoping that I make sure I save them money next year, like, right.

Merit Kahn:
That’s right. Exactly.

Bob Wheeler:
You’ll pay extra taxes if you don’t help me. So I do think it’s important to really like look at our mindsets and, um, and, and think about that stuff. And so this is Well, I was happy to talk to you today. I mean, I was happy anyway, the comedy and all that stuff, otherwise. But this piece about like your emotional intelligence, this piece about mindset. It’s so important. We take ourselves out so quickly. And even just talking about I want to get paid and people see my value. So many people are afraid my experience. So many people are afraid to say, I’m worth this. I want to be seen. I want to have impact. I want to be in connection. That’s terrifying. That’s terrifying. It took me a long time to be able to say those things for myself. And so the fact that you’re out there wanting to help people to realize their full potential and help people recognize where their mindset might be limiting and really helping people to see are we going to have an open mind? Because if we don’t have an open mind, we’ve already decided the outcome even if we haven’t named it. We’ve made a decision. And the more that we can start to say, I’m open to that, I’m curious. It doesn’t mean you have to always go in that direction. And it’s important to cultivate, I’m open, I’m open. I don’t know, let me explore. And so I think what you’re doing really helps spotlight that, this place where am I gonna be open? You know, historically I’ve loved to be right. And so, oh, that’s not going to work. Let me just prove how much this isn’t going to work. Didn’t really

Merit Kahn:
I’m gonna go to bed.

Bob Wheeler:
serve me, but I got to be right. And I’m less interested in being right these days. And I’m more interested in showing up and having impact and getting to be in connection with people and knowing that I matter and that I’m hopefully having impact.

Merit Kahn:
I love that. Yay. Mission accomplished. Ha ha ha.

Bob Wheeler:
So, where can people find you online and social media? People need this stuff.

Merit Kahn:
Well, thanks. Uh, the hub for everything is my, my name. So it’s meritcon.com. M-E-R-I-T-K-A-H-N. So merit, like a certificate of and con, but not like Genghis, the other one. So

Bob Wheeler:
Or like a con artist, not that either.

Merit Kahn:
yeah, no, not that either. Although some situations, uh, but there’s a let’s talk button on this, on the page. And I always tell people like you’d be surprised just there’s still, there’s, you know, Yes, busy, yes, doing all the things, but there’s always time to have a conversation with somebody who’s got a question about anything that I shared on this podcast or any of the work that I do, or any of the challenges that you’re dealing with for growing a business or being, you know, a leader trying to get more out of other people or emotional intelligence and doing an assessment for yourself. Those are things I always love to share about, or if you want to just get on my list and come see my comedy show. performing regularly in Denver.

Bob Wheeler:
I

Merit Kahn:
That

Bob Wheeler:
was

Merit Kahn:
would

Bob Wheeler:
just,

Merit Kahn:
be great too.

Bob Wheeler:
I was going to say, even if you don’t want to get conscious or intentional, but you just want to laugh, go see some comedy with Merritt.

Merit Kahn:
There you go.

Bob Wheeler:
You don’t have to have any awareness other than just, is that funny?

Merit Kahn:
That would be perfect.

Bob Wheeler:
That is perfect. Well, Merritt, thank you so much for coming on. This has been such a fun conversation and I appreciate what you’re doing out there. Thank you.

Merit Kahn:
Well, thanks for inviting me, Bob. It’s been great.