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<iframe title=”Embed Player” style=”border: medium none;” src=”//play.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/22213256/height/128/theme/modern/size/standard/thumbnail/yes/custom-color/c1bca4/time-start/00:00:00/playlist-height/200/direction/backward/download/yes” scrolling=”no” allowfullscreen=”” webkitallowfullscreen=”true” mozallowfullscreen=”true” oallowfullscreen=”true” msallowfullscreen=”true” width=”100%” height=”128″></iframe><iframe title=”Embed Player” style=”border: medium none;” src=”//play.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/22213256/height/128/theme/modern/size/standard/thumbnail/yes/custom-color/c1bca4/time-start/00:00:00/playlist-height/200/direction/backward/download/yes” scrolling=”no” allowfullscreen=”” webkitallowfullscreen=”true” mozallowfullscreen=”true” oallowfullscreen=”true” msallowfullscreen=”true” width=”100%” height=”128″></iframe><iframe title=”Embed Player” style=”border: medium none;” src=”//play.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/22213256/height/128/theme/modern/size/standard/thumbnail/yes/custom-color/c1bca4/time-start/00:00:00/playlist-height/200/direction/backward/download/yes” scrolling=”no” allowfullscreen=”” webkitallowfullscreen=”true” mozallowfullscreen=”true” oallowfullscreen=”true” msallowfullscreen=”true” width=”100%” height=”128Happiness is the Solution. Karyn Seitz
What if happiness was the solution to all of our money problems? It may sound too good to be true, but believe it or not, it’s true. Money can’t buy happiness, but happiness can solve all of our money woes. So how do we find happiness? That’s a question that has been asked by philosophers and scientists for centuries, and there is no easy answer. But one thing is for sure: you have to find what makes you happy and focus on that. If you can do that, you’ll be well on your way to finding financial success and happiness in life.
In this episode, Happiness Mentor, Karyn Seitz and I discuss self-accountability, self-awareness & self-acceptance. Karyn shared her struggle of having to let go of the façade & risk losing everyone & everything. She candidly shared her personal journey around finances as a woman and a wife. We also talked about gender impact when it comes to finances and relationships.
Awaken Your Happiness
You deserve to be happy and live your best life, and Awakened Grace is here to help you get there. Karyn’s premium online happiness program is here to empower you with the tools and resources you need to heal your relationship with yourself.
As a self-proclaimed strong, independent woman, Karyn secretly lacked any confidence in herself. Unconsciously, she desired to be taken care of by a man, so she didn’t have to be responsible for her finances or her life.
As a woman, Karyn has had several come-to-Jesus moments about her desire to be taken care of and how that has disempowered her with money, career, and life. Now, she knows that to be happy and have a healthy relationship with money, she must work hard for herself and have a “why.”
She believes that happiness is the solution to our problems with money, but that money will never be the solution to happiness.
Karyn calls herself The Happiness Mentor and teaches an online happiness course for women called Awakened Grace.
Click to Read Full Transcript
[00:00:00] Bob Wheeler: What if happiness was the solution to all of our money problems? It may sound too good to be true, but believe it or not, it’s true. Money can’t buy happiness, but happiness can solve all of our money woes. So how do we find happiness? That’s a question that has been asked by philosophers and scientists for centuries, and there’s no easy answer, but one thing is for sure, you have to find what makes you happy and focus on.
If you do that, you’ll be well on your way to finding financial success and happiness in life. In this episode, Karyn and I discussed self-accountability, self-awareness, and self-acceptance. Karyn shared her struggle of having to let go of the facade and risk losing everyone and everything. She candidly shared her personal journey around finances as a woman and as a.
We also talked about gender impact when it comes to finances. I’m Bob Wheeler, and this is money you should ask, where we explore why we do what we do when it comes to money.[00:01:00]
As a self-proclaimed independent woman, Karyn Seitz secretly lacked any confidence in herself. Unconsciously. She desired to be taken care of by a man, so she didn’t have to be responsible for her finances or her life. As a woman, Karyn had to take several come to Jesus moments about her desire to be taken care of and how that has disempowered her with money, career and life.
Now, she knows that to be happy and to have a healthy relationship with money, she must work hard on herself and have a. She believes that happiness is the solution to our problems with money, but that money will never be the solution to happiness. Karyn calls herself the Happiness Mentor and teaches an online happiness course for women called Awakened Grace.
Karyn Sys. It is so good to have you on the show. [00:02:00] Welcome.
[00:02:00] Karyn Seitz: Thank you. It’s wonderful to be here, Bob.
[00:02:02] Bob Wheeler: So I have to ask, what exactly is a happiness mentor?
[00:02:08] Karyn Seitz: Yeah, so I call myself The Happiness Mentor because I took a long road trying to find myself, trying to find fulfillment and meaning in my life and everything that I did.
I was a big spiritual seeker. None of it made me. And it wasn’t until I met my mentors in 2015 who helped me in two really important ways. One that my answers weren’t outside of me. They weren’t in the healers, they weren’t in the self-help books, they weren’t in therapy that they were in me. And that was a huge paradigm shift.
And then they also taught me, Karyn, you are the problem in your. And that was something actually I was desperate to hear. I knew that deep down, but nobody ever validated that. They validated all my stories and blame. So it was very refreshing to hear I’m the problem and that’s a good thing [00:03:00] cuz it means I can be the solution.
And that led me on a journey of really learning how to accept myself and my life and embrace the reality of life, the ups and downs. And now I define happy. Just wanting to be me and only wanting the life I have. And that’s what I teach others to do and how I teach others to do that as the Happiness Mentor is to let go of finding the meaning and purpose in our external world because that is fleeting and learning how to become our own meaning and purpose and find value in ourselves.
So that’s the path that I teach other people as the happiness.
[00:03:37] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. Now I have to ask this, and I think I know the answer. Pretty sure. It’s not always what everybody wants to hear, but it sounds like we are actually self accountable, , mm-hmm. for our life choices. And then at the end of the day, we’re the ones that get in our own ways and we don’t wanna hear that always correct.
[00:03:57] Karyn Seitz: Yeah. I teach that and live in my own life. [00:04:00] I am where I am because of my choices and decisions that I am a product of my choices, not a victim of my circumstances, and that was a huge paradigm shift. I had to make a choice and continue to need to commit to that choice. To live a life of taking responsibility for myself, which includes taking responsibility for my choices and decisions that have led to my relationship with money and finances so that I’m empowered to change because as long as it’s happened to me, as long as it was my parents or my upbringing or my past in any way, then I’m looking to something outside of me to change my experience and that is fut.
[00:04:43] Bob Wheeler: Can you say a little bit more about that part where Karyn’s this confident, outspoken woman, and inside there’s a voice saying you’re not confident, right? Mm-hmm. , there’s like two conversations going on, I imagine. Yeah. And one that [00:05:00] nobody else can know about because it’s gonna contradict the present.
[00:05:04] Karyn Seitz: It does. So how I put it, Bob, is that not only was I a spiritual seeker, I was a spiritual healer. So I had a healing practice and I was a yoga teacher. I was a meditation teacher. I studied shamanism and energy medicine. People came to me for answers and healing. So I very much wore this facade that I had it all together and that I had the answers, but secretly on the inside, I was incredibly insecure.
I often say it’s like I felt like a little girl trapped in a woman’s body and had no confidence in myself. It was a facade that at the time I bought into, I really believed that was who I. But it was completely incongruent with how I actually felt on the inside. And it was exhausting because I had to keep that facade up because that’s who I presented myself to be to the world.
And now I know that that’s a very common human [00:06:00] experience, especially for us as women. The strong, independent, confident woman facade when deep down we feel very insecure and like I shared in my bio that that’s actually where I secretly wanted to be taken care of and didn’t want the reins and responsibility of my life.
It was very much a show.
[00:06:20] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. There’s two parts to this question I want to ask. What’s the fear? Like? What’s the conversation if the facade gets dropped? Like people find out? Mm-hmm. that Karyn is not the healer, she’s not confident. She secretly wants a man to take care of everything. , what’s gonna happen?
[00:06:39] Karyn Seitz: Yeah. The fear in that for me was especially centered around not being liked, not being accepted, being found out that I’m an imposter and a fraud of who I say I am. I would say deeper than that though, and the fear of what other people thought of me, the biggest fear that I had and can [00:07:00] continue to have as a.
Is being exposed to myself for who I am and having to face those truths about myself that I never wanted to know and always wanted to suppress because I thought if I faced these things about myself, it’ll destroy me. But what I have learned is that that’s actually been the pathway to freedom that I cannot change and I cannot.
That which I deny about myself or that which I blame somebody else. For that I have to be willing to look at myself in the mirror and learn to be honest with myself about who I am in my facade, in the games and false reality that we all live in from our minds. and know that when I face that, that actually gives me the opportunity to get to know the real me, which is all the things I pretended to be in my facade, but I just get to be Karyn.
Right. But I never learned that and never knew that. I thought, especially [00:08:00] in my kind of zen world of what I studied and practice like just be even keeled, have no emotion, like just be happy all the time. Mm-hmm. , or look happy all the time. And I was constantly trying to live in this like BLI out. That actually isn’t any part of reality of life or human experience.
[00:08:18] Bob Wheeler: Would you say that’s what sometimes they call spiritual bypass?
[00:08:22] Karyn Seitz: Oh, yes. That was a, I haven’t heard that phrase in a while, Bob . That is actually what I realized with the help of my mentor, started to break down my false identity of who I was and the facade I lived in. Recognizing that’s exactly what I was doing on my spiritual path, was just the spiritual bypass, adopting all these really wonderful ideas and things that I would read in books, but never facing the parts of me that actually limited me from being the best that I could be from being who I am and my truth, especially in being able.
Pen, my experience [00:09:00] on my parents, or my upbringing or my past, or even on my spiritual journey, my past lives, or the universe, my astrology, my astrological chart. When I could put the blame on those things, I never had to look at me. Right. And what are the choices Karyn is making in her life? It’s causing her to have this experience of being insecure.
I was very sneaky controlling. I had those, the gamut of human experience and limitations, and I never had to look at those things on my spiritual journey. I just go to the most enlightened place. But it was all a facade. It wasn’t real. Yeah, so I very much relate to that concept of spiritual bypass. And then when I realized that becoming who you truly are, is nothing what we ever wanted it to be, at all.
Cuz we do have to peel back the curtain and we have to look at the parts of us. We never wanted to see or know about ourselves to really get to know [00:10:00] who we are and our goodness and in our truth. And everything I did allowed me to not have to do that. So when I realized what the journey actually, I was like, oh, if I had known this is what it was, I probably never would’ve started.
[00:10:13] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. Well, I’m thinking here, self-accountability. Self-awareness. Mm-hmm. self-acceptance does not sound like a fun ride.
[00:10:21] Karyn Seitz: Yeah. It really doesn’t. , I have to say that when I’m really in the thick of things, it doesn’t feel like a fun ride, and my mind can get the best of me, and this isn’t what this should look like.
And this is. , but it’s actually so much easier than how I used to live pretending and really just living in a perpetual cycle of self-destruction and the up and down, and having to look at the things we need to see in ourselves that we deny in a weird way. Is actually kind of fun and now I enjoy it and it’s still vulnerable, but it’s fun in a way to do that.
But before it was like, no, [00:11:00] don’t make me go there. Yeah. Self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-accountability is something we have to work hard for in ourselves and it has to be important to us. Otherwise we’ll never make the journey.
[00:11:11] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, absolutely. And I always go into it kicking and screaming. It’s, I don’t wanna be vulnerable.
Yeah. And I know the payoff is so worth it when you go through the fire. It is. It’s tenfold. It’s tenfold. It really is. I agree. I’m curious about the piece about self-acceptance and getting to know yourself. I would imagine you are not the only woman who has thought. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a man that just takes care of everything so I don’t have to look at my finance?
[00:11:38] Karyn Seitz: Yeah, definitely not alone in that .
[00:11:41] Bob Wheeler: And what I wanna say right here is that doesn’t make it a bad thing that you want that. That doesn’t make it good or bad. That may have just been how you were socialized. Mm-hmm. . Or it may have been a great story about Prince Charming. Like there could be lots of reasons why you have this.
And you can choose to continue that line of thinking. It’s not bad. Or you can decide I want something different. I [00:12:00] wanna do it on my. How is that for you now, knowing that there’s a part of you? It’s like, I mean, I think we’d all love to have somebody take care of all of it. Yeah. We’re being honest. I’d love for somebody to come in and like pay the bills.
Fight the fights, and take some pressure off of me. Yeah.
[00:12:16] Karyn Seitz: What I have learned, Bob, especially as a woman in working with hundreds of women, and I work with very high achieving, very quote unquote, strong, independent women, and I work with very open-minded women who wanna look at themselves and wanna look at these things.
And when I help them to see in themselves and get honest about wanting to be taken care of, they feel a sense of relief. Like, oh God, that’s so honest. And yes, that’s there. And it helps me understand why when I’m alone and single, I’m strong and independent, and then I get in a relationship or I get married and it all comes crumbling apart.
I believe that it’s very ingrained in us as women, and I have a theory of why, but it’s very [00:13:00] ingrained in us to want to be taken care of. And I had to see that about myself and it wasn’t, I fought like what you said, kicked and screamed , that I did not want to see that in myself. Like, no, I can take care of myself.
I don’t need a. But when I got honest with myself, I had to see, that’s exactly why I got married. I am, my eight year anniversary is tomorrow. My husband and I have been married eight years and have been together for 14, but I am married and we have a lovely relationship, but through a lot of hard work on my end to be willing to change, I had to see, that’s why I got married.
I secretly wanted to. Be taken care of and have somebody to share the burden of life with. And I secretly wanted the knight and shining armor as a woman. Sure. And it sounds nice on the outside of someone to take care of everything, but it actually is incredibly disempowering. And in that [00:14:00] experience as a woman and my own experience, it is a constant conflict in myself to need to commit, to want to take responsibility and catch myself in those old patterns of wanting to be taken care of.
because they make me feel really bad about myself. Yeah. So how I define being unhappy is I always want what I don’t have. And the reason that that is, is that we put all of our value. And the people and things outside of us. So when I want to be taken care of as a woman, I’m putting my value in that, or specifically in my husband to provide the things to me that I’m unwilling to provide to myself.
And in that I have a total lack of self value. Which leads to feeling lost, empty, insecure, anxiety, overwhelmed what I call the happy pill, pretending to be happy and [00:15:00] right, painting a happy face on, but not actually being happy and constantly living in this place of. Needing and wanting more no matter what.
I have married to a, an amazing man, and no matter what he does, when I wanna be taken care of, it’s never enough. It’s like I’m a bucket with holes in it and everything just leaks right out. So it’s a really miserable experience to live in a place of wanting to be taken care of. It just feeds our unhappiness and our own insecurity of never feeling.
And never feeling good about who we are.
[00:15:36] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. Well, it reminds me of the thing I like to say a lot, and regardless of gender or how people identify, don’t wait for your ship to come in. Go out and build your own ship. Like don’t wait for it to come to you like. That puts us in such a passive position. And I don’t know if this is true for your husband, but I would imagine that as many women are looking to be taken care of, there are many men [00:16:00] that have a story that I need to take care of this woman, right?
Mm-hmm. , I need to be the breadwinner. I need to manage the cave. So they’re also fulfilling a potentially unconscious story or mindset that they have to be the shiny.
[00:16:15] Karyn Seitz: Yeah, I have a perspective on that. So I mainly work with women and I have also, and, and really, really enjoy working with men, especially around relationships and marriage because that’s been a huge area of my own growth and and context for me to get to know who I am.
What I often say, the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. So I’m very passionate about working with men, especially in relationships and marriage and what I’ve learned through my experience and being married to a wonderfully good man is as much as wanting to be taken care of, is ingrained in us as women.
For men, in my experience feel, cause I’m not a man, so I’m not talking from a man’s perspective, [00:17:00] just my life experience feel good about who they are and feel like men and being able to provide mm-hmm. and being able to care for, and what I have learned in my marriage as I’ve been on this journey to take responsibility for.
And let go of wanting to be taken care of is the more that I show up as me and in my nature, because in wanting to be taken care of as women, we also have massive walls. And like I said, it’s never enough what our husbands do and we blame them for all of our unhappiness. . In doing that with my husband, we had a lot of disconnection and as I started to drop my walls and to take responsibility for myself, my husband showed up as the knight in shining armor that I always wanted and the unhealthy pattern.
Mm-hmm. . And from this place I could actually appreciate it cuz I could see the thoughtfulness in who he is and his kindness. And now instead of him taking care of me, [00:18:00] He’s very caring and enjoys. It’s important to him to care for me, but now I can actually appreciate that and appreciate our differences as men and women, and actually let that in and know that it’s part of just what makes him feel like a man and feel good about himself.
And now I don’t expect it or need it or demand it. It’s just part of the dance between a good man and a woman. Mm-hmm. and I’m on my journey of taking responsibility for myself and working hard for myself. So I’m not dependent on him, but he’s still always gonna be a good man and, and want to care for and show up as that way and a provider.
And it’s something I really appreciate about. I just have to really watch my own patterns of not slipping into then depending on him and wanting him to take care of me. Yeah. And that’s been my experience in working with other men as well in their marriages.
[00:18:55] Bob Wheeler: And would you say in your experience, again, not the world [00:19:00] Pole scientifically in your experience, how much does gender play a role in people’s financial journey?
[00:19:08] Karyn Seitz: In my experience, I think it plays a huge role in our different patterns and struggles and limitations around money and most experience just in my issues as a woman in the struggles that I have that all stem from that place of wanting to be taken care of.
And then constantly feeling empty and insecure in myself, and then taking that out on my husband and recognizing that when we fought about money, it wasn’t really ever about money. It was my own insecurities and myself and feeling not enough. And even the women I have worked with. Who don’t work, do stay at home.
Their husband is the provider. They’re never happy in it because they always want what they don’t have. So they resent that their husband gets to get up and go to work, and that they have to stay home. They feel that they’re not fulfilling their potential. So [00:20:00] that’s really our core issues, I believe is women.
And I won’t speak to the male part. Yeah. Because that’s not as much my experience.
[00:20:08] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. It’s interesting. I talked, it’s been a while, but I was talking with a guest who talked about the damsel and distress, and the prince gets the saver, the king gets the saver, the night saver, whoever. , but at some point, you know, the damsel in distress wants to be a strong, confident woman and doesn’t need the king to save her anymore.
Yeah. Then this becomes this dance of how do we both get to grow into our full potential and be who we’re meant to be? Yeah. Now you, it sounds like we’re fortunate enough to have a spouse who created a safe space to do this. Not everybody has that. Mm. and there might be you’re wrong or you’re crazy, or you’re stupid, or how do you encourage people to find support or find a safe space?
Mm-hmm. that they can explore this. Because when we have to look at ourselves, at least for me, it wasn’t pretty and I had to [00:21:00] have a lot of support and I had a lot of amazing people that really helped me. Mm-hmm. and hold me as I had to look at a lot of unpleasant.
[00:21:09] Karyn Seitz: Yeah, so in the scope of what I do, I work within the scope of, especially in relationships and marriage of a woman being married to what I call a good man.
And it doesn’t mean a good man doesn’t have problems or issues, but that he is thoughtful and caring and wants to take responsibility. Is hardworking is, you know, I often say the opposite of a good man is a bad boy, in relationship with women, and that those are the men that our dads always warned us to stay away from the Fonzi or the Dannys from Greece, you know, perfectly nice people, but in relationships with women by nature, not trustworthy.
So I really work in the scope of women being with good. And I have found that is the majority and my perspective is a little different. Bob, if it’s okay if I share it [00:22:00] absolutely. That I know for myself and the women that I work with, that who I am to my husband when I need him to be something for me to fill me in the ways that I’m not able or unwilling to provide for.
We began to wear them down and we began to push them away and cause them to feel wrong and bad about who they are, and that can cause a reaction in a couple of different ways. A good man can respond very passively, which was more the experience of my husband. I became very belittling of him, and I’m gonna use a strong word, emasculating, and trying to take his power away and making him feel wrong about who he is as a man and as a husband.
And he very much slunk down in himself and shrunk down and gave all his power to me. Another way a good man can react to that treatment from his. is aggressively and [00:23:00] actively, I’m not saying abusive, but he will yell back. He will say hurtful things. He will try to defend himself, just not in. The most productive or constructive way.
So what I share with women is really about working on yourself to get to know who you are, to become happy in yourself, and when you do that. The cool thing about a good man, no matter how he reacts, Is that he just wants his wife to be happy. I often give that as an assignment to the women I work with in their marriages.
Go ask your husband what he most wants for you and a hundred percent of the time he said, he just wants me to be happy. And I say, yeah, that’s what the what he wants. So when they can work on themselves to be happy, a good man will step up and respond to that. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his issues. , but I often share with my female clients that allow yourself to work on you and get the support that you need.
And if it’s not as the type of relationship with your husband, where that’s something that you guys are talking about and he’s [00:24:00] supporting you in that, find the support you need and the help that you need. And then work on learning to depend on yourself and becoming your own best friend. And he will respond to those changes and then he’ll be willing to look at the things he needs to.
And himself, and that has been universal in the people that I work with, so I know that’s a different perspective. Yeah. But it’s one that’s been very powerful for me and very empowering and powerful for the women and men that I have worked with. Yeah.
[00:24:30] Bob Wheeler: And how important is learning to have difficult conversations with one’s partner?
Oh, , because it feels like it’s really all about being willing to communicate even when it gets.
[00:24:43] Karyn Seitz: Yes, I teach it as tough conversations or I don’t recommend a ton of books because not a lot of books have the how to. But a book that I really love and recommend is called Crucial Conversations, tools for Talking When Stakes are High.
And it really [00:25:00] teaches people the how to have tough conversations, but conflict, I would say, especially around money and learning and growing through money in a relationship or marriage is imperative. We have to be willing to have the conflict to get to resolution. Where I have fallen short as a woman is that for me, in tough conversations, one of three things is happening.
I wanna be right , I want to defend. Or I wanna prove why my husband is wrong. So I have had to learn how to have tough conversations from an angle of not proving my point, but actually working together to find a solution and get to resolution. And that’s a whole other animal and definitely a skill that we have to learn.
It doesn’t come naturally .
[00:25:46] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, absolutely. And we all love to be right. I know I do. Yeah. It’s ego versus service. .
[00:25:53] Karyn Seitz: Yeah. I often say you wanna be. or do you wanna be happy? Yeah. And I didn’t come up with that or coin that, but I love that phrase. You [00:26:00] wanna be right or do you wanna be happy? Yeah. And that’s something I have to to remind myself as well from time to
[00:26:07] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, absolutely. And we have to be willing to take the journey because it’s not a fun journey. There’s no big celebration when you make this choice to go into it. It’s painful and it’s all about self, and it’s all about willing to move through all of that uncomfortably knowing that you’re gonna come out better on the other side.
Absolutely. Karyn, we are at the fast five, so we are gonna shift the energy up just a moment and we’re gonna jump right in. Are you ready? Ready. All right. When were you the happiest to spend money? Oh,
[00:26:42] Karyn Seitz: The happiest I was to spend money is really when I am slowing down. And I can think of a couple of different examples, but it’s more general, more broad, Bob, that when I’m slowing down to make a conscious choice about why am I spending this money to invest in me [00:27:00] not thinking, spending the money is gonna make me happy, or what I’m about to get is somehow going to complete me or fulfill my.
that recently I purchased a kayak. I live in Colorado and I love Flatwater kayaking, and I bought myself a kayak, and that was an investment in myself because it’s a way, I really, really enjoy spending time with myself. And so I was making a conscious choice of why I’m doing this and not thinking the kayak is gonna make me happy, or spending this money is gonna make me happy.
It’s what am I doing for me to show myself that I value who I.
[00:27:32] Bob Wheeler: Awesome. Love it. Love it. What do you think you spend too much money on? Mm.
Food . .
[00:27:40] Karyn Seitz: That’s an easy one for me. Food. .
[00:27:45] Bob Wheeler: And what was the last thing you purchased without your husband knowing?
[00:27:49] Karyn Seitz: Huh? I have to say, I don’t know on that one, , like as, it might take me a second to get to that one of
What did I purchase without him knowing? Yeah, [00:28:00] I’m not sure about that one. ,
[00:28:02] Bob Wheeler: did you get an allowance as a kid?
[00:28:05] Karyn Seitz: I did get an allowance as a kid. And do
[00:28:08] Bob Wheeler: you remember saving up for one big thing? No. Or did you spend it when you got
[00:28:12] Karyn Seitz: it? I spent it as soon as I got it. ? Yeah, . And I was spoiled. Bless my dad. He really wanted me and my siblings to have a better life than he did growing up, so he would spoil us.
So I didn’t, growing up, didn’t have to save her much, knowing my dad was gonna swoop in and get it. .
[00:28:30] Bob Wheeler: What do you think your close circle of friends, what do they spend too much money on?
[00:28:35] Karyn Seitz: You know, I’m very fortunate. My circle of friends is small and they’re all women who are in what I call this camp of taking responsibility and working on themselves.
But I’d say they’re also just normal women and normal people who can spend frivolously and I’d say makeup, skincare, you know, anti-aging products. Clothes, food, Starbucks. You know, the normal [00:29:00] things. Going to Whole Foods. Ugh. Yeah. Going to Whole Foods for one thing and walking out with $150 worth
[00:29:05] Bob Wheeler: of things.
Yep. Make a list. Make a list. Oh, man. Yeah. That’s too funny. Well, we are at our Money and Motivation, our m and m Sweet spot, and I’m wondering if you have a practical financial tip or a piece of wealth, wisdom. Some of this worked for you that you could share with our listeners. Mm-hmm. ,
[00:29:23] Karyn Seitz: Absolut. We’re gonna have to go kind of a two-part way.
The one is that the wealth we’re looking for outside of us will never be enough to fill us that the wealth we really want to look for is feeling enough in who we are, the wealth of ourselves, and then from that place, From having ourselves being enough in who we are, knowing we’re not missing anything, then we can build upon our financial wealth, not as a way to think that that’s somehow gonna make me happy.
But for me as a woman, I have what I call a true purpose for money. And my true purpose for money [00:30:00] is learning to use money as the vehicle to learn to care for myself. Yeah. And value myself So, I can predict and know my financial future with certainty. The emphasis is on building the value in me and learning about myself through investing, learning about myself through educating myself on money, not because of that end goal of the wealth, but to show myself I really value who I am and I care about me.
And when we can come from that perspective of building wealth, it’s a much more rewarding experience and we don’t feel like that empty bucket. with holes in it, and that would be my biggest tip. And that money seems complicated and. because of all the stories and beliefs we have built up around it. Yeah.
But when we can work through those stories and beliefs, money in itself, investing in itself is very, very, very simple. That’s something I’m learning this year. Yeah. It’s not complicated. It’s not hard. [00:31:00] It’s just ourselves that get in the way. So to simplify and normalize money and knowing it’s neutral, the only meaning and purpose it has is what we put onto it, and that’s what makes it really.
[00:31:12] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, absolutely. Well, Karyn, I so appreciate our conversation. I love your vulnerability, willingness to share words and all because there’s so many people out there still trying to present and feeling that struggle, and I just wanna encourage people to. Know thyself, like be willing to go through that journey.
And I think even though we didn’t talk about it directly in your bio, you talked about, you know, money doesn’t buy happiness, but happiness can certainly help you resolve your money anxieties and your money issues. If you can just shift that perspective. And I just really appreciate this piece about, and boy it is not fun, but I appreciate this piece about self-accountability, self-awareness.
And self-acceptance. The choices that we make aren’t bad. Understanding [00:32:00] why we make them or why they fulfill us or why we think we need them, it’s so important versus that’s wrong and you should would do it differently. It’s getting to know our own stories and then making a choice. Do I want to do it differently?
Armed with this information?
[00:32:16] Karyn Seitz: Well, thank you so much for having me. It’s been wonderful to be. Share my story and just appreciate the
[00:32:22] Bob Wheeler: opportunity, Bob. Yeah, absolutely. Well, where can people find you online in social media And you have a course I
[00:32:28] Karyn Seitz: do. Absolutely. So you can find email@example.com and on social media.
On Facebook, Karyn Seitz, the Happiness Mentor, and then I do have a course primarily for women that’s called Awakened Grace, and it’s for women who have the great life on paper. They’ve checked all the boxes, yet they still feel something missing and they are still unfulfilled in their lives. So I teach women what’s missing.
Is you ? Yeah, so I teach women through the course how to connect with who they [00:33:00] are and how to learn to prioritize themselves and their lives to care for themselves as a roadmap to being happy and being fulfilled in life, and having meaning and purpose in who you are. Awesome.
[00:33:13] Bob Wheeler: Well, we’ll put all that in the show notes.
Karyn, it’s been a great conversation. I hope you have a ton of kayaking ahead of you, . Thank you. And so you can like go and value yourself as we all should. Yeah, and again, thanks for coming on the show. Thank
[00:33:27] Karyn Seitz: you very much.
[00:33:35] Bob Wheeler: We hope you enjoyed this episode. Did you learn something new about your relationship to money today? Maybe you have a friend who has some financial blocks or beliefs that are holding them back. Please share this podcast so they too can get off the roller coaster Ride of Financial Fears and journey towards financial.
To learn how to have a healthy relationship with money, visit the money nerve.com. That’s nerve not nerd. We’ll be back next [00:34:00] week with another perspective on money and the emotions that bind us.