To NFT or Not to NFT. Melissa DaSilva

[00:00:00] Bob Wheeler: Is there a dream or a goal you’ve put on the back burner telling yourself you’ll get to it one day. Maybe you’re not sure how to go about making a change, or you’ll fear that you might not be successful, but what if I told you that delaying your dreams is actually costing you more than taking the leap?

[00:00:15] Trusting your desire to change direction in life is the first step on the path to making it happen. In this conversation, Melissa and I talked about NFTs. Even I learned something about nft. We also talked about trusting yourself when it comes to changing the direction of your life. When you have that aha moment, being willing to pivot.

[00:00:35] And we also talked about the importance of finding your tribe, finding your community, how important that is to have the support you need to go off into the world and live the life you want. We also learned that you can actually be an artist and be financially responsible. Our next guest, Melissa DaSilva, was living a life that she thought she was supposed to be living, and it wasn’t a bad one, but when she had her [00:01:00] aha moment and realized she wasn’t living her life, she got really clear, created an action plan, took the necessary steps, and then went for it.

[00:01:08] I’m Bob Wheeler, and this is Money you should ask, where we explore why we do what we do when it comes to.

[00:01:36] Melissa is a successful physical NFT artist, entrepreneur, therapist, and coach who motivates other l B GT Q plus individuals and artists to take their life and career to the next level. She is the author of the Profitable Practice Helping Healing Professionals Build and Grow a successful business.

[00:01:53] She’s also the creator and host of the successful LB GT Q plus podcast, Pride, Connections, and Chit Chat with the [00:02:00] queer and Creative. She has been featured as a guest on several international podcasts and blogs. You can also find her on the weekly YouTube show, the next chapter, where she and her co-host discuss all topics related to being single and getting older in our world.

[00:02:13] Melissa has been a licensed social worker for 15 years and started her Rhode Island based mental health agency in 2015 where members of the LB GT Q plus community can find safe and specialized therapeutic services. Currently, Melissa lives and runs her mental health agency from Puerto Rico while also creating art and physical NFTs that positively impact the world.

[00:02:34] Melissa, it’s so great having you on the show.

[00:02:36] Melissa DaSilva: Thank you. I’m so glad to be here.

[00:02:38] Bob Wheeler: I have to ask, what was your aha moment that made you completely change your life?

[00:02:43] Melissa DaSilva: I would say my aha moment was one night when I was laying in bed with my ex-husband, was my husband at the time. And I had this dreadful feeling just wash over me because I had like the marriage, I had [00:03:00] the house, I had the dog, I had a business, and yet I was feeling empty.

[00:03:04] And I just remember the tears, just like rolling down my face and just asking myself, Is this it? And at that moment I realized like, this is not what I want. This is not the life that is meant for me. And that was like the aha moment that really started things going for me was about two, almost three years ago.

[00:03:24] Bob Wheeler: Wow. And I can only imagine how painful that is to realize you’ve gone down a path only to realize the need to pivot. Yeah.

[00:03:32] Melissa DaSilva: Especially when society tells you that you should be happy with what you have right now. Like why do you want anything else?

[00:03:39] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. And when you pivot, some people get left behind.

[00:03:42] Melissa DaSilva: Yeah. And some people will think you’re crazy too. . ,

[00:03:46] Bob Wheeler: probably

[00:03:47] Melissa DaSilva: a lot of people . Yes. Since scientist like picked up and moved to Puerto Rico. That’s crazy.

[00:03:52] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. And then you’ve been doing therapy, I mean, leading people through therapy. I’m sure you’ve done therapy. Yes. . [00:04:00] But what was that like when you were transitioning?

[00:04:04] From therapist to artists because that’s also crazy.

[00:04:08] Melissa DaSilva: Yeah. Because I go to school for so many years to get that master’s degree to be a therapist. Yeah. And then I put all this time into starting an agency and getting that up and going, and then realizing like, Oh, I’m an artist at heart. I’ve always been an artist.

[00:04:23] That’s what like brings me joy and so that was scary. I still do run the agency, but it’s not like my full time thing now. And I don’t do therapy. I just am an entrepreneur at this point in time. So I’m an entrepreneur and an artist. But yeah, it was another pivot of like, you know, that sunk cost ball that we always have.

[00:04:46] It’s like I spend all this money and time I had to keep doing, keep doing, but that’s not the way I tend to move with my life, I guess.

[00:04:54] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, I think that’s so important. You know, I just finished a children’s book and one of the things that I talk [00:05:00] about is because as a kid I was taught, like when I made a decision, I had to live with it forever.

[00:05:05] Mm-hmm. . So I was really careful about my choices. . Yeah. I didn’t know you could pivot.

[00:05:11] Melissa DaSilva: Yeah. Because people tell you, nobody likes a quitter. , you know? Yeah. They don’t talk about

[00:05:15] Bob Wheeler: pivoting. Yeah. Stay the course. Stay the course. Mm-hmm. , sometimes the course is pivot.

[00:05:20] Melissa DaSilva: Yes. a hundred percent.

[00:05:24] Bob Wheeler: So let’s pivot. What exactly is an nft?

[00:05:27] Melissa DaSilva: So an NFT is a non fungible token. So does something that can’t be recreated. There’s one and only. And a lot of people have been creating NFTs out of digital art. That was a big craze and it’s still pretty big. And video games have them too. You can buy certain pieces of like equipment or. Weapons for certain games.

[00:05:49] I don’t really understand that. And honestly, I only understand the NFT stuff. What it pertains to physical art, because that’s where I come from. And so when [00:06:00] I heard that NFTs had to do with art some way, I was like, All right, I gotta figure out how I can incorporate this with the art that I do. And so that’s what I got into creating tangible art that can be created into an nft.

[00:06:13] And there’s only one of that piece of art, and people can purchase that art and have the NFT of it. So you own the digital copy of that as well.

[00:06:23] Bob Wheeler: So that’s maybe more, the difference is there’s a real piece of art. Mm-hmm. , and then a real digital duplication that’s also a one of a kind. And they go together.

[00:06:32] Melissa DaSilva: Yep. And so each pieces of my art have a tag on it, and if you scan it, it will say, This is where this art lives on the blockchain. And you can see who owns it. And so it shows you like it’s a real Melissa DaSilva. And so that’s where I feel that NFTs are gonna start going. It’s gonna broaden out farther than those digital pictures people are buying.

[00:06:55] It’s actually gonna have some real life use but also be, you know, useful in the be

[00:06:59] Bob Wheeler: verse too. [00:07:00] Yeah. I’m still learning about NFTs, like the comedy store. We just had our 50th anniversary and so everybody, not everybody, but some of us got these NFTs, so I have one and I’m like, I don’t wanna lose the login to my nft cuz I don’t fully understand it.

[00:07:15] But I was told it had money value. I’m just trusting that. Yeah. And saving my login , but it’s

[00:07:21] Melissa DaSilva: new. Yeah. And that’s the other thing about having an NFT that goes with the art. You could actually see how valuable your art is too, because you can look at it and see, Oh, somebody purchased it for this much and now it’s worth this much.

[00:07:34] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. That’s so cool. And I think it’s still an evolving or emerging technology. Yes. Like it’s still one of those things. Nft nft. So you know, at least now I know the initials. Yeah, I can get that. Right.

[00:07:47] Melissa DaSilva: And people will compare it to almost like a VIN number on a car. There’s like, there’s no other duplicate VIN number.

[00:07:54] Right. You know, the cars might look the same, but VIN number’s gonna be different. And that’s pretty much what a NFT is. It’s like [00:08:00] a VIN number on the blockchain.

[00:08:01] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. Now you work with a lot of artists. You said you’re in an area where there’s artists and entrepreneurs in Puerto Rico. Do you think that the starving artist perception is true?

[00:08:12] I think

[00:08:12] Melissa DaSilva: it doesn’t have to be true, and that’s where NFTs, I think, can start changing the world for artists, because with NFTs, you also get royalty. So every time that your piece is sold, you get a percentage of that sale. And so this can be something that really changes the world for artists. Artists like myself, they don’t know that part about NFTs.

[00:08:35] And once I usually teach them that, it’s like, wow, really? Like I can continue to get paid for this piece. And I put my heart and soul into. So I think yes, there are starving artists out there, but it doesn’t have to be the case.

[00:08:49] Bob Wheeler: And with the NFTs, am I correct that you only get paid in crypto?

[00:08:53] Melissa DaSilva: Yes. With NFTs, yes, it is through crypto, but there are now platforms, like a platform that I’m [00:09:00] working with is that you can purchase one of my NFTs with a credit card and it creates a wallet on the other end for you.

[00:09:06] Okay. And then for the artists, you know, you can translate that into money after, so it does have to do the crypto, but there are platforms being created to work around.

[00:09:17] Bob Wheeler: You can turn it into other currency. Yes. . At some point. How do NFTs make a positive impact on the community, particularly the LGBTQ plus community?

[00:09:28] Melissa DaSilva: So one of the things that we’re finding is that people who are creating these NFT projects, Are actually using it as a way to bring awareness to certain causes. Um, some people are actually giving proceeds to certain causes. That’s what I’m doing is that a percentage of each sale goes to a nonprofit that support the lgbtq plus community or women’s issues.

[00:09:51] Mm-hmm. , But I’m not the only one that’s doing this. Loud artists. Really believe in projects and wanna be able to give back to a community or [00:10:00] an oppress population. And we’re starting to see, like this is possible. We’re building communities around these projects and being able to fund things. I mean, there’s been slot NFT projects or money goes to helping save the laws.

[00:10:14] There’s all these different types of clauses and it’s been really beautiful to see how people are building communities around.

[00:10:20] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. And would you say like, now that you did this big pivot and changing the course of your life, do you feel like it’s worth it financially, emotionally, and communally for people to like quit the rat race, give it all up and just follow their passion?

[00:10:38] Melissa DaSilva: Honestly, sometimes It depends on what day you ask me.

[00:10:45] I would say a week ago I would’ve been. Ah, What the hell am I doing? . But you know, I think most people will ask them themselves that at one point or another, and that is one of the risk of following your heart or [00:11:00] following your dreams, is like there is some risk taking in it. Otherwise other people would be all doing it too.

[00:11:06] Like it takes a certain type of mindset and guts to get out of the rat race and live your life differently. And it’s scary. And sometimes it does feel lonely and sometimes it goes to crap and, but you pick yourself up and you trust in yourself that you’re not gonna let yourself fail and just keep moving forward.

[00:11:26] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. I think it’s so hard for people to get outta that mindset of, I think it goes back to that place where you can’t pivot. Mm-hmm. or where you believe that you can’t. And so we spend our lives thinking, Oh, if I do this, if I do A and B, then I have to do C and then. instead of just saying, Wait, no, let me switch from alphabet to numbers.

[00:11:45] You know? Yeah. Or whatever it is. And I think you can feel like you’re alone. Mm-hmm. . And when you’re blazing a new trail, there’s some phrase like, if the path is easy, you’re actually on somebody else’s path. Exactly. , Right? Yeah. It’s gonna be difficult. And [00:12:00] then finding the support and the reminders. Mm-hmm.

[00:12:03] that, Wait a minute, this is what I love. Cause even people doing everything they love you. Picasso had a lot of bad days. Yeah. , it ended , so I think that’s something to remember. But when you were growing up, can you tell me a little bit about that? Like your parents, was there a mindset, just do the right thing?

[00:12:23] Was there support or. Was there disappointment when you said, Hey, I’m gonna pivot and do this crazy thing and move to an island and I’m gonna follow my heart? Well,

[00:12:32] Melissa DaSilva: I would say, if you ask my mom now, she would be like, Yeah, that definitely sounds like something Melissa would do. She was like, You never lived your life like the standard, You know, I’ve always been a little different.

[00:12:44] Mm-hmm. , I knew when I was younger I didn’t wanna have kids, and that was just something that I’ve always known that she supported in that. But we were very poor. My mom and I lived in a apartment where we pretty much shared one bedroom, and so I come [00:13:00] from a scarcity mindset. And so that is something that I’ve had to learn to get out of is that mindset of like, there’s never gonna be.

[00:13:08] The other things, it’s like she taught me how to be creative and how to network and trust in myself and that things are gonna be okay. But yeah, it was really different because I definitely stepped out of the same cycles and patterns my family had created cuz I was the first one to go to college.

[00:13:27] Didn’t graduate. You know, first one to actually leave the state. So I’ve definitely been the oddball in the family, but they’ve always been supportive. Mm-hmm. ,

[00:13:37] Bob Wheeler: definitely. And when you made the pivot, cuz I know there’s a lot of people, they have that aha moment and then they don’t act on it. Mm-hmm. , they don’t move forward because then there’s the fear or the comfort is greater than the desire to see the change or be the change.

[00:13:53] Are there some things you can suggest to other people to help stay the course when they’re trying to create this [00:14:00] new habit or create this new life, or create this new way of being?

[00:14:04] Melissa DaSilva: You gotta find your community. You gotta find that buddy that you can call up and say. Oh my gosh, what am I doing? And they can say like, No, you’re doing okay.

[00:14:14] You know, like, things happen. It’s gonna be all right. Here’s how I can help you. You know, remember, this is what you said you were gonna do. And just having almost like that accountability partner or that community that is also the same mindset that can help support you when you’re kind of feeling down or

[00:14:30] Bob Wheeler: scared.

[00:14:32] and when you made the pivot, a lot of times not everybody gets to come with us. Mm-hmm. , and I know for me, I really wanted everybody to come along. I thought they were supposed to. Mm-hmm. and there’s some potentially grief there when we have to leave people behind or they’re not gonna join us in the same way that they did in the past.

[00:14:52] Mm-hmm. , did that happen for you? And what was that?

[00:14:55] Melissa DaSilva: Absolutely like having my ex-husband, That was it. [00:15:00] Like I knew I wanted to live in the tropics. That’s not something that he really desired to do. And so to leave somebody that I had like as a teammate for 10 years was really scary and sad. And his mother also lived with us who was like a constant companion in our house.

[00:15:17] So it’s like, You know, I always had somebody to talk to. And so to have that, that was a huge shift in not having that companion shift. Not having that support was really scary. And to this day, like I know that I can always text him and say like, I need help, or something like that. We still share custody of a dog together.

[00:15:39] Uh, , I get him for six months. He gets him for six months. So we try to navigate. But yeah, and then there’s other relationships that I have grown. So I have a friend, Steve, who’s my best friend, and I feel like I see him more now than I do in Puerto Rico than I did when I lived in the same state as him. We really [00:16:00] work making sure we communicate every day, and that I see him, he sees me.

[00:16:04] So a lot of relationships have shifted and just putting the energy into what you want to continue and what you think that needs to be let go is important. .

[00:16:16] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. It’s not easy following and going for the things you want. Mm-hmm. , you know, sometimes there are people out there, and I tell this when I’m coaching people, not everybody’s gonna root for you.

[00:16:26] Mm-hmm. , not everybody’s gonna be excited for you. And there will be a lot of people that are actually experiencing their own fear and reservations and they’re trying to put them on you. And so there’s a lot of people out there going, Don’t do it. This is a mistake you should never try, You’re not gonna succeed.

[00:16:43] How do you. Deal with that. I’m sure that that happened for you. Yeah, it happens for everyone. How do you navigate that, the naysayers and really trust yourself? I’m actually

[00:16:53] Melissa DaSilva: used it as fuel to my fire . It’s almost outta spite. Like I will [00:17:00] not fail. Cause I did have a best friend at one time. Tell me like, Oh, you can’t leave this job.

[00:17:07] You’ll never make enough money running a therapy agency. And we’re no longer friends, but it was just like, what? I will prove her wrong. Definitely not a healthy mindset, but it is when you know, fuels me sometimes. It’s like, I will prove you wrong and I will be damned if I’m not gonna succeed. And it’s just like something that I’ve used that way instead of it holding me down and push it to make me move

[00:17:32] Bob Wheeler: forward.

[00:17:33] Yeah, I think that’s a great way to go. My mantra, sort of like, watch this. Exactly. . Oh really?

[00:17:40] Melissa DaSilva: Yeah. You can’t make money with art. I’ll show you .

[00:17:46] Bob Wheeler: I love that. I love that. Well, where can people find more information about NFTs? Like if they wanna get out there and they want to do. NFTs and where can they find out about your NFTs?

[00:17:56] So you

[00:17:56] Melissa DaSilva: can go to my website, melissa DaSilva.com. [00:18:00] And then I also have an online gallery where you can see my NFTs, and that is queer nft.io. And those are for sale, and you can purchase them and also get a tangible piece. So one of a kind art, when you purchase one of the NFTs.

[00:18:15] Bob Wheeler: I’m gonna pivot. What is the best part about living on the island of Puerto Rico and living in the tropics?

[00:18:21] That there’s

[00:18:22] Melissa DaSilva: 300 days a summer, a year. I mean, the other days I probably rain, but you can pretty much guarantee that you can make plans to go and do something almost every day. You don’t have to look at the weather and be like, Oh, it’s gonna be a rainy day. This, you know? So I think that’s the best.

[00:18:38] Bob Wheeler: That’s cool. And you don’t get an island fever or, uh, any of that? I

[00:18:43] Melissa DaSilva: don’t, I mean, I have the ocean and then I have mountains. Puerto Rico is amazing. It’s paradise. I don’t think people understand that. What a beautiful place this is. I mean, it’s like Hawaii, but better I think. .

[00:18:56] Bob Wheeler: Supersized. Yes. . That sounds awesome.[00:19:00]

[00:19:02] We’re at the fast five. All right. And the Fast five is brought to you by Acorns, where you can invest, spare, change, bank smarter and save for retirement. And so much more for information. Check on the link in the show notes. So here we go. We’re gonna have a little bit of. All right. What’s the most money you’ve ever made from a single nft?

[00:19:20] $250. Okay. Awesome. What is one thing you’d go into debt for right now? Hmm.

[00:19:28] Melissa DaSilva: I don’t know. For some reason I was gonna say facelift, but that’s not transfer .

[00:19:34] Bob Wheeler: Hey, why not? Why not?

[00:19:37] Melissa DaSilva: I don’t.

[00:19:40] Bob Wheeler: Then you can nft. Exactly. Where does the bulk of your budget go? It

[00:19:45] Melissa DaSilva: goes to my housing.

[00:19:48] Bob Wheeler: When you spend money, how do you feel? Indifferent. Yeah.

[00:19:57] whatever there

[00:19:57] Melissa DaSilva: is. There it goes.

[00:19:59] Bob Wheeler: The [00:20:00] There it is, There it goes. What is the biggest purchase you’ve ever made

[00:20:04] Melissa DaSilva: besides purchasing a house? Because we never really paid off the mortgage, so I would say the biggest purchase I made was. And not my car. And I mean, that’s boring too. But I paid $5,000 for a conference ticket once this conference was in the Philippines.

[00:20:23] And I worked my butt off to figure out how I can figure out how I can make money for that conference. And I sold like Den father’s tools. I did a GoFundMe. I tried everything. And that was probably the biggest purchase of something like, not like the typical house. Kids, whatever it is. And I say that conference changed my life.

[00:20:45] Bob Wheeler: Oh, that’s amazing. So well worth the expenditure. Yes. Well, now I know , this isn’t part of the fast five, but I’m curious, how much money do you budget on buying other NFTs if you do, and how [00:21:00] should people factor that into their.

[00:21:03] Melissa DaSilva: I would say NFTs is more of a hobby. It’s like buying a piece of art and you have to really feel like it’s something that you believe in.

[00:21:12] If it’s like a digital and NFT project, make sure like it has a good roadmap. It has like a good community wrapped around it. It’s going to something that you believe in. Really do your research in that before. Deposit any money into an nft. But for people who are NFT collectors, I would say only budget what you have extra.

[00:21:34] It’s like a hobby. It’s like buying comic books, you know? It’s a joy. You get to hold them, you get to be a part of a piece of art, and that is probably worth whenever you think it’s worth and whatever you have that you can budget for it.

[00:21:49] Bob Wheeler: Awesome. We are at our m and m moment, our sweet spot, Money and motivation.

[00:21:56] Do you have a practical financial tip or a piece of [00:22:00] wealth wisdom, something that’s worked for you that you could share with our listeners? It

[00:22:04] Melissa DaSilva: sounds kind of wonky, but I have this affirmation that whenever I start feeling like things are getting tough, I just kind of send this affirmation and it makes me feel better and it money flows to me like a river.

[00:22:17] And at one point hid dollar bills around my house and every time I would find one, I would say money flows to be like a river. It sounds weird, but it’s something that’s always brought me comfort and I feel like it.

[00:22:30] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. So hey, everybody out there, go and take a whole bunch of a hundred dollars bills, , or $50 bills or $5 bills, whatever you

[00:22:37] Melissa DaSilva: got.

[00:22:38] I use $1 bills. .

[00:22:39] Bob Wheeler: Use $1 bills. Hide them everywhere, but make sure you do it when the whole family’s not coming over. Yes, . I mean, I don’t mind if the money flows to them like a river, but I mostly. I think I want it flowing back to me at this Exactly. in that exercise. . But that’s a great tip and I think it is great to, even though it’s your own money and you hide it, it’s still fun to find it.

[00:22:59] Mm-hmm. [00:23:00] you.

[00:23:00] Melissa DaSilva: Ah, yeah. And it’s just a reminder to yourself, like it can flow to me, like it can be easy. And it’s interesting how quickly I forgot where I hit those dollar bills, . Right.

[00:23:11] Bob Wheeler: And do you think about money consciously? A lot. Are you like, Oh, money, money, money, or, Hey, I’m in my flow. I think

[00:23:17] Melissa DaSilva: about it every day, just.

[00:23:19] You know, I have to, with running a business, you know, I had to make sure that the business is money flowing into it. So I think about it pretty, pretty

[00:23:27] Bob Wheeler: regularly. So Melissa, this conversation has been so awesome, and I think one of the biggest takeaways for me is the part about finding your community.

[00:23:37] Mm-hmm. . I don’t think people understand the importance enough that having your tribe, finding your people, finding the people that will love and support you and help get you through those moments of self doubt is incredibly important. Because without that, I mean for me, the whole point of being here is to be able to be in connection, and I’d like to be in connection with people that feel my vibe [00:24:00] or that can appreciate my vibe, even if it’s a slightly different vibe.

[00:24:03] So I think that you named that, it was just a really important. Piece of information out there. People. Find your tribe, find your community, because we need our community. The other thing, I know we sort of came to it organically, but this piece about pivoting. Being able to say, Yep, I’ve done all this work and I was on course to do all these things, and when I feel into it, yeah, I need to go to the left.

[00:24:28] I need to go to the right. I need to take two steps back and that that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that we’re a quitter. It doesn’t mean that we didn’t stay the course. It means we’re actually in the moment and checking in what actually feels true to us. And I think that’s so important for people to follow their heart, but also do it in a way, you know, you didn’t just shift from, I’m not gonna do any of my old stuff anymore.

[00:24:51] I’m just gonna be an. You found that balance, you could still, you know, have a little bit of breakfast in the morning and be able to pay the bills. It wasn’t just this [00:25:00] moment of I reject everything and I’m gonna trust the universe is gonna instantly replace it. There’s ways to do it consciously, intentionally, and in a way that.

[00:25:10] Protects you. Absolutely. So I just really appreciate you coming on and sharing all this information. So where can people find you online? I know we talked about where your NFTs are, but where can people find you online? Social media. You’ve got a book out there, you’re doing

[00:25:24] Melissa DaSilva: things, Oh, I’m doing lots of things, but you can find me usually on Instagram at real, Melissa Dil.

[00:25:31] Bob Wheeler: Awesome. Well, we’ll put all that in the show notes. Melissa, it’s been such a pleasure. I so appreciate you joining us today and enjoy your 360 days of sunshine. I

[00:25:42] Melissa DaSilva: definitely will

[00:25:50] Bob Wheeler: We hope you enjoyed this episode. Did you learn something new about your relationship to money today? Maybe you have a friend who has some financial blocks or beliefs that are holding them [00:26:00] back. Please share this podcast so they too can get off the rollercoaster Ride of financial fears and journey towards financial freedom.

[00:26:07] To learn how to have a healthy relationship with money, visit the money nerve.com. That’s nerve not nerd. We’ll be back next week with another perspective on money and the emotions that bind us.